3:11 p.m. – Realizing that I needed a tampon, I began my search for one in the bathroom in the basement of Clemens. No luck.

3:14 p.m. – After climbing up the stairs, I checked the bathroom on the second floor of Clemens. The search continues.

3:17 p.m.– I ran through the tunnel to the Student Union and dumped my bag on the table in my office on the third floor. I checked the bathroom next to my office, to no avail.

3:21 p.m. – Checked the other bathroom on the third floor of the Student Union. Skulked out of there to go downstairs.

3:24 p.m. – Checked the bathroom on the ground floor of the Student Union near the info booth. No go.

3:26 p.m. – Found a tampon machine in the ground floor of the Student Union near room 150. Dug out 35 cents in dimes and nickels from my pocket, read sign that says, “quarters only.” Asked some poor girl if she had a quarter. She answered “no, sorry!” as I stormed out of the bathroom.

3:28 p.m. – Told candy counter guy I’d give him 25 cents for a quarter. He smiled and opened the drawer, saying, “Phone call, or just like quarters?”

“Just like quarters,” I responded, not wanting to gross him out with my situation.

3:30 p.m. – Discovered that the salvation tampon machine was empty. Started contemplating whether or not God exists.

3:33 p.m. – Checked the ladies room on the ground floor of Capen, then the one next door in Norton. No luck.

3:35 p.m. – Went upstairs in Knox, checked bathroom, wondered why someone painted the door to the bathroom purple, found nothing. Checked the bathroom in Norton on the second floor, no tampons, decide that God does exist and is against me.

3:38 p.m. – Entered bathroom on the second floor of the Student Union near Thunder of the East office. Found no tampon machine but two condom machines. Lost faith in humanity.

3:41 p.m. – Went to the Generation office, sulked until Chris asked me what’s going on, lied and told him I went to eleven bathrooms when I only went to ten.

I hate being a girl.