Speak Into the Mic, Please
Todd: The distinguished speaker series happens every year at the University at Buffalo. We have had some good speakers here at UB (think Clinton) and some lesser (think Giuliani, sorry Rudy, you don’t make the cut in my book). This year we have nothing less than a stellar line up. And it all begins on September 30 with one man with a freaky, freaky hair piece and no visible forehead: Donald Trump.
Penn: Perhaps a hot reality TV/contest show is enough to launch Donald Trump into a new realm of fame for the majority of America, but to me it is not. I did not watch The Apprentice. I care not for the machinations of the corporate world. The only reason I would go see Trump speak (and I fully intend to do so) stems from my curiosity of what a fantastically rich real estate mogul could possibly impart to an audience largely composed of college students. Let me submit a qualifier. There are two reasons I want to see Trump speak; the other is my fascination with his hair. To see it move, flow under bright track lighting at Alumni Arena would be to suckle at the teats of the gods. Well, maybe it would just amuse me.
Todd: I would like to rip that hair from his head and take off crutching down the hall with it held in my teeth like some dead animal’s fur. Oh yeah.
Penn: Riiight. Following Trump is Steven Squyres on October 13, and he could be really interesting. From the astronomical costs of the project he worked on (for all you completely out of touch individuals, the Mars lander project), one would expect a great deal of entertainment. Assuming, of course, that a logarithmic relation of budget to amusement exists. I have no doubt of the distinguished status of this individual, I just wonder how much of his work is related to my personal life. I think of Mars, populating the red planet, and Total Recall. Let’s just hope Squyres is all scientist and no girlie man.
Todd: I can’t believe you just mentioned Total Recall. Especially when talking about an actual scientist. Oh Schwarzenegger, what area of public domain will you not infect? Who’s next?
Penn: Well, on October 27, Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By In America (which was this year’s book for freshmen to read) will be at Alumni Arena. And, to skip around some, April 7 brings Dr. Eric Michael Dyson. Perhaps it is both unintelligent and uncultured of me, but who is he? I’ve never encountered this name before.
Todd: Oh? Well then, I will enlighten you: Dr. Michael Eric Dyson is an Avalon Foundation Professor in the Humanities and Professor of Religious Studies and Africana Studies, at the University of Pennsylvania. He was also named by Essence magazine as one of the nation’s “50 most inspiring African Americans,” and has been dubbed by the Philadelphia Inquirer as “a major American thinker and cultural critic.” He will most likely be discussing various social themes and cultural politics when he speaks on April 7. I am sure his speech will be nothing less than enthralling.
Penn: Hmm, I agree. Before Dyson though, comes what I can imagine will be a catfight for the ages: Janet Reno and Ann Coulter go head-to-head on March 10. Sure, I want to see an intellectual debate of current policy, and who knows what the outcome of this November will bring to the presentation, but really, I want to see these ladies brawl. At least I can always hope for more than just a rousing battle of spectral wits. If in God we trust, mayhap I’ll get that wish.
Todd: I want to see Reno ream out Coulter so badly it hurts. There’s something about Coulter that I hate to the core of my being. She’s just so, what’s the word? Ah, yes: fucking insane.
Penn: I was thinking intolerant. (See How to Talk to a Liberal [If You Must]) I’m saving my rapt attention for two men in particular this academic year. One is a muck-raking journalist with investigative moxy to spare, the other is an international badass with a heart of literary gold. Yes, Bob Woodward and Salman Rushdie are the two speakers I cannot wait to see. So much can be said of their already prolific lives. Woodward, who will visit UB on November 17, was largely responsible for exposing one of the greatest political scandals in United States government history.
Todd: Indeed he was. The fact that we get to see one of the two men who brought down Nixon is amazing. I mean: A) who doesn’t love Robert Redford’s portrayal of Woodward in All the President’s Men? and B) who doesn’t really love to hate Richard Nixon? I surely want to see the man who helped rid America of a bunk president and deliver a president that is so easy to make fun of at the same time. Also, beyond Nixon-bashing, Woodward is a breath of fresh air in a political climate that tends to label any muckraking journalist as a proverbial crackpot. I mean, this is one of the men who took down Nixon! Can you wrap your head around that? Can you really? There are so many of us who would love to see Bush taken down in any way possible, Republicans and Democrats alike. Think about it friends, Woodward actually did take down a president. Earlier this year Woodward released Plan of Attack, a book dealing with the Bush administration’s war on Iraq. No doubt he will be enlightening us collegians on many of the issues he deals with in his book and more on what the Bush White House does without the general public’s knowledge. On top of all that, he will be here after the upcoming election, so what will be said will be very intriguing.
Penn: And then there is Salman Rushdie, literary icon, coming on April 28. Rushdie’s 1988 novel The Satanic Verses, winner of the Whitbread Novel Award in 1988, earned him a death warrant issued by Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeni.
Todd: Ah, Salman and the fatwa declared against him. What could be better? I mean, yes, it’s a horrible thing, but when was the last time you heard about an author of fiction who had to go into hiding, lest he be assassinated? The things that this man could say have to be beyond amazing. Amazing also seems like too soft a word. Really, think about it: you write a book, it sells well, then the Ayatollah puts out a hit on you for criticizing the religion of Islam and you have to disappear. So, you shuffle off to London for a little political asylum and try to live in obscurity. I mean, wow. The Satanic Verses is an amazing book, but the story behind the novel is almost a better tale. Rushdie came out of hiding a few years ago and is currently an Honorary Professor in the Humanities at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), and Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature. It will be an honor to hear him speak.
Penn: And there’s a man whose story, to me, is better than any reality TV.
Todd: Indeed.
