CLASSIFIEDS
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PERSONALS
To the hot skater boy with the lip ring and who looks like Ryan Phillipe, (except better) I heard you have a fuck buddy but I think that could all change in just one elevator ride. Respond to this ad if you are interested. If you aren’t interested then we will definately have to meet and change that naughty attitude of yours
This is for the hottest lady on campus: never mind, you don’t know her: I am most certainly going to be there once that bus takes care of your current situation. You are so fine! Let’s make some babies in a couple of years. I am dying to kiss you, let’s see if we can make this happen soon—Big Kitty
To the southside reject. You know what, I feel really bad for you. You live on south that’s enough said. But don’t be jealous of north because we don’t have to ruine our coach and stiletto shoes. It’s actually funny getting on our beautiful heated north bus and watching the 100’s of people waiting for the bus to south, you look like a bunch of imigrants, waiting for the boat to ellis island. So fuck you and your dirty south ass as well—Cramstardeluxe
Its bad when I have to tell the spell checker “No, they really did spell that word wrong”
To all the girls from Buffalo, you are all shady bitches who don’t call guys back, and are prude as fuck!! Get your head out of your ass and start sucking the cock!! –B.F and J.M.
To the bitch with the weird glasses and blonde hair-you don’t own every guy on south campus!
Double D’s why don’t you get your wanna be asses outta the union. You aren’t real and your boobs aren’t either.
Thou dagger wast Romeos! Hast thou forsaken me? A pox on your bitten thumbs!
To the kid who fucks star wars characters will you play with my light saber
To that fat ass in S**** P*. Stop eating all the Chinese food! And tell you’re hot pledge I wanna fuck him. The one with the glasses
Do you see this writing? Do you know what it means? Hospitality! And you can’t piss on hospitality! I won’t allow it!
To all the fuckers who play hacky sack outside the union all day-everyday, go to class!
Fat guys love to eat that shit! Fuck the closest fat guy!
The fat guy in the last personal lied. Fat guys rather deep throat that eat that shit! Fuck all fat guys. Skinny Guy!
To the single jewish virgin, I didn’t appreciate you making a mockery out of us black females: “I don’t wash my feet…” What the hell does that have to do with us. I’m not against interracial dafino, but against ignorant people without proper hygiene. Get a clue?—Clean BF
Stoody loves Vagina
Still looking for a guy named Chuck, let us know if you’ll play the role. Never mind, we were sick of waiting and named the plant chuck.
Why would you name the PLANT chuck?
Hello my future girlfriend. This is what I sound like. I am eleven years old & in the sixth grade, in New Mexico. Please PM me if I am on Yahoo chat. Bye…thanks for stopping by!!! (www.kidblount.com)
To the chick in the student union…why you eating that Pizza with the big fucking tomato and calling everyone an asshole? Shut the fuck up! Pick up the papers yourself
You guys should back up your hard drives because this week was going to have THE record for the most personals that we have submitted. YOU SUCK. But we still love you. Give us a few days.
