The First Time

As college students, we are faced with one of life’s hardest choices; to hump, or not to hump? Some choose to remain celibate, while others make the leap into becoming sexual beings. There are multiple arguments on both sides for why someone should or should not have sex before some important milestone in their life. In college we have three categories of people: those who have had sex before graduating high school, those who had sex for the first time in college, and those who will not have sex until they are married. Everyone has their own criteria for those they have sex with for the first time, and the biggest question for most is, “Who holds that place?” Some of us found that person in high school, some in college, and some have yet to find them, or if they have, are holding out before giving themselves away.

Before college we’re faced with peer pressure, insecurity (which follows us through college), and curiosity about sex. According to Ellen Christensen of the University at Buffalo’s Health Education and Human Services, factors such as these lead to 75 percent of kids having sex before they’re 19. If that fact doesn’t surprise you, then Christensen shares this one: a fair amount of men and women create sexual disorders when they start fooling around in high school. Men train themselves to cum quickly as to avoid getting caught, while women hold such a strong emotional attachment that they get no physical pleasure from sex.

So did your first time suck?

Some of those asked didn’t find their first time to be particularly memorable, nor enjoyable. Also, there are the stories of friends getting ditched after sex by boyfriends and girlfriends (although unlikely as women tend to see sex more in the emotional sense, especially when they’re young), and those who were heavily pressured into the situation by their significant other.

It can’t be all bad though, right?

Did the first time rock your world?

Hell yeah it did! Of course it only lasted about as long as last night’s final jeopardy, but c’mon, all the fumbling around, the groaning, and then, finally, the condom is on and the moment of truth comes, and it comes way too quick. It’s anti-climactic, if I can use that phrase.

The other 25 percent of the population has decided to abstain from sex until marriage or at least wait until they’re in a comfortable relationship. For those of you in that 25 percent and struggling with the decision of whether to remain abstinent or to join the crowd, consider who you’re going to sleep with and whether or not it’s worth it to sleep with them. One of the greatest benefits to holding onto virginity through college is that it weeds out the assholes that may be looking for some action rather than any sort of emotional attachment.

Congrats on waiting, virgins. Although the general consensus among college students is not to have one partner for the rest of your life, it’s still ill-advised to jump in the sack with the easiest person you can find. Be picky. You’ve waited this long so you might as well make it count. Wait for someone who understands you, likes you, is willing to wait for you, and most of all, someone you trust with your naked sweaty body.

The most important thing to realize now that we have left high school is that if you’ve made it past the peer pressure years and have reached a level of maturity that is relatively equal to your age, then you have a stronger ability to choose. And that choice is inevitably yours, and it is not to be decided by anyone else.

In the next “Just Between Us” we’ll be heading to the STI clinic to give everyone a heads up on testing options available to students and an inside look at the tests from both the men’s and women’s perspectives. Stay tuned.