PERSONALS

This is the facebook personals, if you don’t hand them in then we ill just search high and low for interesting facebook quotes.

I’m a freshman at UB, and I completely heart it hereI’ve got dribblies and the krumps in ‘05

To that guy, who wears the ripped khakis everyday to school…you’re crazy

Fuck PJ’s? Why is that a facebook club, everyone LOVES PJ’s.

Rockin

What the fuck happened to the kick ass wall

I’m secretly in love with matt

Everyone’s secretly in love with matt…but I sleep next to him every night.

Jake gives good blowjobs too.

I heard Matt knows how to yodel in the gully real well.

I love the feeling of you poking me.

Its really difficult to look hot goin out when it’s like 13 below...whatever tho, my girls and i make it work...obviously!

Fuckin right doggie—stiffmeister-the grand fuckin facilitator

9 beers deep shit I’d bang a horse

CFA is my mom

I love playing and puzzles and friends! And reading and the phone and rambling

Left handed Anonymous

Desperate Housewives fan club

I expect you to die Mr. Bond

Yay ginormous

Argle Bargle to the Ginorms and the Bhams

Mr. Gorbachev Tear Down That Wall-crazy rich guy in the Bahamas

I could really go for some coffee right now

dance across the nation

la de dah

To all the people on the third floor of the SU… GO HOME!

JD - You’re too fucking literal Also, will you be my valentine? -LD

I like this job

BossMan: I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You are the scuuuuum between my toes. -Queen B

JLR: Your eyes are as blue as the ocean. I want to have a million of your babies. I love sharing a bathroom with you. Sometimes when you’re not looking I sneak into the bathroom and watch you shower. I hope you’re not mad. Please respond in the next issue, or sneak into the shower with me. Love, LAD

Wow, that sounds pretty creepy JLR. Good luck with that.

Danger: Your goofiness makes me wet. Please wear the corduroy hat more often. It makes you look handsomely shabby.

I want to tear my fucking eyes out of their sockets and chew on them until they are reduced to nothing bush slimey slush.

to the editor at an unknown campus publication, we made a deal, when are we going to get that ball rolling?

If you don’t hand in personals we are going to have to make them up.

Email??!?

Thats right bitches you’d better start that emailing.

Dear kids- Seriously, the fireworks are not that cool. Why don’t you just save them for July 4? Then we could have a HUGE fireworks celebration and it would be super special, too. The way it works now, with you setting off fireworks every damn time you find them in your basement, it cheapens the thrill of them. You need to save your firework energy. Also, you need to let me sleep. -University Heights Residents

Dear UB- What the f, mate? You need to foster the talent that comes your way, you need to realize that maybe scientific advancement and research is not the most important thing, and you need to be able to let other schools pass you in visible areas while advancing in the more ethereal sensibilities. -The English, Music, & Art Departments

Dear Libby- How do I begin? First off, I’m sorry about the other day. That wasn’t right, and I still maintain that there was no way I could have known that your bathroom doorlock was broken, but you’re right- I never should have screamed that way. Secondly, stop staring at me. Third, while I may be too “literal,” I’m also too fuckin’ awesome. So seriously, let’s just cut this bullshit, and admit that I’m really quite a cool guy, and no one likes it when you STARE AT ME! -J