A Visit to the Local Sex Shop

Let’s face it. Winter in Buffalo means less to do. And less to do leads to hormone explosion. For a few months, some of us sit inside and hump all day.

So, with that matter put out in the open, we at Generation decided to help out in all your sexual endeavors this winter by taking a look at the things you can use while you’re under those blankets.

After a few trips to some local porn shops and a few awkward conversations, I managed to find some pretty cool things to assist in all of your sexual desires. They come in a variety of categories:

1. The Toys – These consist of your typical sex playthings that we’ve all seen before; blow up dolls, fake genitalia, pumps, vibrators, etc. But lately, those sex toy manufacturers have come up with some crazy things to attract their horny customers. At Video Liquidators on Main St. in North Tonawanda, there is quite an array of such toys. “The Ladybug” is a round vibrator with two antennae that spin around wildly. “The Jack-Matic” is a sort of pump with some kind of interesting substance in the chamber. Dildos range from the size of a pinky to 18-inch mammoths, and cover the walls. They light up, they vibrate, they make noises, and they come in many interesting textures. “The Jack-Rabbit” was made well-known for its appearance on “Sex and the City” and is supposed to be a crowd favorite. For the hopelessly desperate, a sex doll is available that feels completely like real skin and is about four feet tall. The downside to most of the items in the toy category is that they are mainly for single person usage. But sure, sometimes a little help may be in order.

2. The Lubes – For those of us who aren’t so keen on the battery-operated or artificial orifices, there are a wide variety of different lubes and creams on the market to make things more enjoyable while with a partner. Hustler offers a line of massage creams that come in different scents, including one in Cannabis scent. The “Wet” line of lubes seems to be the most diverse. They offer a variety pack with several flavored lubricants for those that like to take a taste of everything at the buffet. And lube flavors aren’t your typical Neapolitan tastes anymore. They cater to the exotic crowd, with titles like Vanilla Cream, Pina Colada, Strawberry Kiwi, Passionfruit, and Big Banana. Among the newest rage are the warming sensation lubes, which have been noticed by Trojan and put into a line of condoms. I even came across a low level topical anesthetic billed as a “genital desensitizer” which is supposed to make arousal last longer. “The best one is the Astro-Gel, from the makers of Astro-Glide, because it doesn’t get sticky after a while, like a lot of the others do,” says Mike, the Video Liquidators counter man. There are also whipped creams made especially for bodily use.

3. The Pills – If you can’t get your hands on any Viagra or Cialis, there are a few herbal options that anyone can buy over the counter. But there may be a point at which one should draw the sexual line. At Video Liquidators, I was shown an herbal enhancer that looked fairly legitimate until my inquisitive side decided to look at the label. After reading that one of the ingredients in this “all herbal” enhancer was “Horny Goat Weed Extract,” I tended to believe in the product less and less. But hey, if you want to give it a whirl, the products are there for the taking. Just ask at the counter and you shall receive.

4. The Porn – We’re all familiar with the typical porno videos that we stole from our parents’ closets. But because of the money this business produces, porn promoters are getting really creative. Peruse around and find something that interests you. With titles like “Weapons of Ass Destruction” and “Maximum Thrust,” you’re bound to find something fun.

5. The Clothes – Don’t skimp out on the whole package. Take a trip to Victoria’s Secret or X-Sentuals and find some sexy stuff to put the finishing touch on your sexual experience. Girls can shop for hours for things like negligees and sexy lingerie. And that doesn’t mean that the guys are exempt. You really don’t have to look too far to find some interesting things to add to the closet. And most likely, your significant other would appreciate your efforts.

Interested individuals can go to their closest adult video store to check out any of the products mentioned as well as hundreds more. Being stuck in the horrible Buffalo winter doesn’t have to be so horrible. So, for all of the people that actually get outside and have fun when it’s cold here, kudos. As for the rest of us, we’ll be under our blankets, finding a little fun of our own.