I’m sure everyone has a sex story that includes a sibling, parent, or friend walking in on them or overhearing them during the act. Of course, the walk-in is surprised, disgusted, or just downright embarrassed. I have even heard of someone bursting into tears after walking in on her friend (seriously, who cries in that situation?). Although this particular reaction may be uncommon, it’s what makes the story amusing. Without crying, walk-ins and the like, every sex story would require us going: “Awww… that’s so sweet,” instead of laughing our asses off; which is what we want to do deep down anyway.

I have one such story to tell. Around 3 a.m. one night, a guy (let’s just call him Willy) and I were getting it on in my bedroom. My room is just down the hall from my parents’s bedroom, and even though I am aware that my parents can be light sleepers at times, I’ve never been heard during my late night booty calls. So, on this particular night Willy decides that jackhammer sex would be fun. He was so enthusiastic that I had to hold on to my headboard for dear life. I thought I was going to be humped through the wall. As you can imagine (and I’m truly sorry for that) my whole bed was being pulled away from the wall and then slammed back against it, all the while my bedsprings screaming out in utter fear.

The sex-capades lasted well into the night and neither of my parents walked in on us, nor told us to keep it down. Therefore, I thought my parents were sleeping soundly and I assumed I had once again avoided the embarrassment of disturbing their rest. Little did I know.

I woke up rather late due to the extreme physical activity of the night before and decided to check my e-mail. As I was sitting in the office, my mother came up the stairs holding a cell phone in her hand. With a smirk on her face she said to me, “Your friend left his cell phone here last night.” I didn’t know why she was giving me such a mischievous smile, but I chose to ignore it. That is until she blurted out, “I heard you last night!” To my surprise she giggled like a little schoolgirl and scurried off down the hallway with unnatural glee.

My mother’s reaction was so peculiar that I didn’t think she meant she had heard me having sex. I decided to investigate the matter. I walked up to her, red in the face I’m sure, and asked, “What do you mean you heard me?” She started laughing and told me that I had woken up my father.

In the night he had heard a banging noise, rolled over to my mother, and asked what it was. My mother had heard the noise too, so she decided to get up and see where it was coming from. She walked halfway down the hall before she realized the banging was a rhythmic thumping coming from my room. Right then she knew exactly what it was and decided to avoid the acrobatic show going on behind my door. She calmly walked back into her room and slipped into bed. My father still curious about the sound asked, “What was it?” To which my mother simply replied, “Libby’s up.”