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PERSONALS

Boozehound loves to S the D.

Sherminator wants JO,

YO BITCHES UP IN ELLICOT! HOLLA AT ME SUCK MY DICK

To the metro at the steer…when your taking it hard what name do you scream louder… David Beckham or Tucker?!

Dear Alumni Cardio-Equipment users: Thank you for wiping your nasty sweat off of the machines…HOWEVER Please refrain from spraying your neighbor with disinfectant while attempting to half-assedly de-funk your elliptical/treadmill/cycling machine.

The Justice Knight doesn’t brush his teeth.

To the “guy with balls” who wrote in the personals before break! YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM GETTING PRETTY FUCKING GODDAMN TIRED OF YOU MACHO

SONS OF BITCHES PUSHING YOUR GODDAMNED WEIGHT AROUND, OKAY!?! YOU MAY THINK IT’S EASY TO COME UP TO TALK TO A GIRL. BUT SOME OTHER!! PEOPLE MAY NOT THINK THAT WAY!!! I REALLY HOPE SOMEONE SHOOTS YOU IN THE GROIN SO YOU CAN BE sterile

THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND NEVER WILL BE ABLE TO FUCK ANOTHER GIRL AGAIN!!! SO FUCK OFF DUMBASS!!! —infuriated writer

To the dumb bitch who drives a black cavalier and stole my spot on South - learn the rules of the parking lot ho! Your lucky I didn’t have my bat with me! You would have came out of class with no windows!  When it happens to you remember what you did to me! - oh and have a nice day ugly!

Valentine’s Day is a waste of time. Who gives a crap about wasting money on a slut who is never happy regardless of what you try to do for her. To all the guys out there reading this, don’t bother with your girl, because most likely she is either cheating on you or is never happy with what you are doing and sacrificing for her anyhow.

2004 OOZFEST champs baby Crazy Ace’s—Larry and O are bringin it this year…come and get some

Dear Troy Duffy and all you boondock saints fans. The movie was laughably terrible. The scene where Dafoe dropped to his knees and yelled “there was a firefight” was especially sweet, sweet like my dick. Have fun wasting your money on boondock saints 2:All Saints Day, it sounds like it’s going to suck 10x as much herpes infested cock Love, Boondock H8R Boi

Alright now listen up Mario: If you pay Boo to take another one of my flippin stars, I’m gonna have DK rip off your Golden Mushroom A’ight? Oh and by the way. Me Peach and Daisy had a 3-way in your castle last night —-Love Luigi.

Austrailama is mine!!! Signed: The prime shoop meridian

To that hot 3rd floor lehman RA: when are you gunna jump my gunz? Quit playin and get that hott butt over here. I’ll be waiting. Love: J-Gunz(FBI)

To the blonde curly-haired fucker from Molly’s: You’re the cockiest bastard I’ve ever met! I wouldn’t date your friend before and won’t date him now. PS you’re an asshole, eat my twat—-From your unobtainable dream.

To the cute girl in CSE class I just want to tell you how pretty you are.

Program: Loving you for you You probably think that all guys are the same Well here is one that doesn’t play that game You probably wonder how do I know if its real I can’t tell you its for real, its just something you have to feel But if you curious and want to know

Then let go and see how far the rabbit hole goes Neo found Trinity because he took a chance So take the red pill if you want to find True Romance

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base Are belong to you ~From ThinkGeek