CLASSIFIEDS
RonYoung.com for student houses, apartments, rental information, pictures, descriptions 833-6322
We Have Big Ones!! Big apartments for roommates! 2 bedrooms start at $722 includes heat & water. Walk to a great fitness center, racquetball/basketball court, heated pool & more. Visit us at raintree.homeproperties.com or call 694-8742.
PERSONALS
To the Sexy Bitch in my American pluralism course last semester. Put on the strappy black heels and the schoolgirl uniform and pay be back for th “B” -KVP
Mikey B- Please come home. All is forgiven. We even forgive you for callus “dirty pigs” back in the day. Please come home and make non-specific, mildly-angry thoroughly harmless statements against us all. We miss it. Love-Your roommates, P.s. Take out the garbage and fix the internet…ass
Bon Jovi is gay and Chad throws like a girl. Go Doug!
Jalwa has more whores in their group than a bordello—stick it in your bhangra
To Marge-Too much Booty in the pants you’re just jealous because you can’t handle my jelly—Boozehound
To the girls, please stop wearing those retarded fuzzy snow boots, they are the ugliest invention I have ever seen in my life. Every Time I see a hot ckick wearing those, the boots are the only thing that keeps me from busting out the zip-ties and chloroform. I’m sure I am not the only one who thinks those boots are nasty. They are called “UGGS” for a damn good reason!
USA! Come on and raise me! Rule that flag, put it in the air, spin it like a helicopter
Thank you Generation, cuz if we don’t stand for something, we bound to fall for anything at all!
You’re welcome, kids. Keep reading.
TF: nope. But I remember the time with the 14 water buffalo and a stray cat. And oh yeah the herpes! Love, Third floor whore
Hey “Larry O” and the the non-ub non undergraduate hoodlums,…aka past oozfest winners, the crazy aces better start
Word.
SMOKE A BLUT!!1
YOU’RE IN COLLEGE NOW...NOT IN GRAMMAR SCHOOL!!
To the asshole in the Honda on North who ran the stop sign and almost hit me: Don’t flip me off
I don’t know what’s more impressive - the Justiceknight’s theological wisdom or his Teeth of Titanium
Governerds hub sucks. So many leEches. Both hubs are secure. Don’t listen to his stupid bullshit—techno
Many kisses –jeff
To my floormates who live next door—stop crying to the RA when we are too loud at night. Come over and say something, quiet hours are already moved earlier because of your bitching I don’t give a fuck if you “work for your money How well does being a bitch pay anyway?
Hey dropout how was the night with Polly Pocket? Did you put her hand there?
Dear Children: With all this talk about my good friend DJ Damien I have decided to be loyal and defend him. You see the reason he has not written a personal in so long is because he was shot for his controversial ideals. RIP Dj Damien . To the rest of you haters you got a lot to learn, you got to have loyalty—DJ Damien loyalist
To the beautiful girl with the beautiful smile who was in charge of the dodgEball standings at Funfest: I was so excited when you smiled at me in Capen that I forgot to ask your name. Send me a personal.
If that doesn’t work out, what can?
Duke sucks
candy?
Good thing the pigs are just mindless
Bakka bakka bakka bakka
To the Supervising Editor- I’m in awe of your talent. Your lines are so enticing. I wanna layout with you. I just think sometimes your stuff is too literal. See you tonight. --Kid with the basketball
Free Kamchatka.
How do you free a four dollar bottle of vodka?
I love the fishes ‘cos they’re so delicious, gone goldfishin’!
To the kids who always write in reallly vulgar and poorly composed personals- Please, try to remember that this magazine will be sitting around for a week. Do you really want people to see your poor grammar and spelling skills for that long? Aren’t you embarrassed by the fact that a) you can’t spell the four letter words you use so often, and b) you don’t have the guts to just go up to these people and tell them why you hate/love them? It’s silly. Just like this page. -ConcernedStudent
