Behind the Scenes: Castaway 2: The Search for Wilson
Yo yo Yo Yo Ma, to everyone out there who is totally into the filmster scene and is always looking to see what the geniuses who run GTV Films are greasing up next to serve to you deep fried and Mac Daddified. Today we are lucky enough to be able to sneak a peek at what the brain-trust here, nicknamed “The Brain-Trust,” is getting ready to dish up for Christmas two thousand and 1, 2, 3, 4, and yes, the big ole 05. Yeah, it’s not just gonna be another boring ham and gravy dinner while celebrating the birth of my homey the J man. No way, this year you all are gonna be doused in a gravy that’s gonna burn you like the kerosene we saw Vanilla Ice pour over his manager in last year’s GTV Christmas Biopic This Ice Burns, Biznatch! What a boss film that was. As my friend and resident night light ho Paris Hilton be liking to say: “That film was hot.”
GTV has gotten all of Hollywood abuzz with the juicy news that Tom Hanks is hard at work on the sequel to his 2000 smash box office hit Castaway. Teaming with the bomb director F. Gary Gray, Hanks is not only taking on the role of actor, but also of executive producer for the aptly titled film Castaway 2: The Search for Wilson, which started shooting on the next beach over from Lost back in March in order to make it to theatres by the birth of my lord. Hanks is pulling in $22 million for jumping back into his role as FedEx manager Chuck “Beachcomber” Noland, and has recruited my girl Beyonce as Amy with actor Bill “Independence Day” Pullman as the voice of Wilson. GTV Films is now going to bring you an exclusive preview of Castaway 2: The Search for Wilson.
Five years after we left Chuck Noland (Hanks) standing in the crossroads, we finally find out what he decided to do: go in search of his lost best friend Wilson. With the large compensation that FedEX paid to Noland in back pay for his time on the island, he boards a private airline to his old island, which has been turned into a Club Med. Mid-air, during his trans-Pacific flight to the island, Noland finds his old friend Wilson… as the leader of a small militant group which is fighting for Club Med to depart from the island. It’s friend versus friend, as Noland and Wilson tussle in the aisle until Noland realizes Wilson is ticking. He’s a bomb! Throwing his old friend to the back of the plane, he explodes, destroying half of the plane. Noland is knocked out by the explosion and wakes up alone, washed ashore on an uncharted island. But this ain’t no dime-a-dozen deserted island!
The twist is that Noland has washed ashore upon John Hammond’s private island, better known as Jurassic Park! Noland is forced to come to grips with the reality that the same thing has happened to him twice, like Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2: Die Harder. His pain is soon eased by the discovery of a clever gorilla who teaches Noland to speak sign language. It turns out the ape is none other than Amy from Congo, who decided to leave her gorilla family and go in search of the humans she left to stay in the Congo. The two help each other escape the carnivorous dinosaurs and make plans to flee the island. But just when you think this roller-coaster ride of a film is settling into a groove, it doesn’t!
While Noland and Amy are exploring a remote part of the island for raft materials, a band of talking apes, who have been chasing Amy, spring upon the duo, capturing Noland, and shooting Amy in the back with a harpoon gun. The apes take Noland to their secret city hidden from the dinosaurs and force him into the bonds of slave labor. Time passes until Noland arouses intrigue in a pair of scientist apes who believe him to be some kind of missing link between the two species. One night, they free him and take flight from the ape city. Upon running from a party of ape bounty hunters, Noland trips over a metallic object buried on the beach. He digs into the sand while the apes all watch in amazement, only to reveal that the metallic object is actually the spaceship Apollo 13! Noland’s world is rocked, but with the help of the scientist apes, he comes to realize that he must have flown through some kind of a time warp when the plane was hurtling towards the ocean, and that he isn’t on a deserted island at all, but is in fact on a part of Cape Canaveral, 4,000 years into the future. As he comes to this chilling realization, he is attacked by a velociraptor that had been hiding in the cockpit of Apollo 13. The ending? That’s a secret to be seen this Christmas! I know I am pumped to see what goes down. You best be too.
When we get closer to the release, GTV Films will be releasing action figures care of Hasbro Toys, lunchboxes, t-shirts that say kickass phrases like “This Aint No Stinkin’ Island!”, tissue boxes in the shape of Wilson, ape plushies, and much much more. Not to mention the kids’ version of the film, much like my boy Mel Gibson’s Passion recut, where the apes are Pokemon and Noland works for Kidzbop and falls in love with Amy the gorilla. That’s 31 flavors of cuteness and then some!
Not only will all this merchandise be cool as ice, but GTV will be bringing you biweekly production documentaries on the set. You can see where Hanks and the cast of Lost engage in a cream pie fight to end all cream pie fights. And a special Punk’d where Ashton… well, we can’t spoil that one.
So, if you are hot to see Tom Hanks kick some ass, make googly eyes at an ape with the voice of Beyonce, and fight volleyballized Bill Pullman, then GTV Films’ Castaway 2: The Search for Wilson will knock your socks off this Christmas. But not so much as the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, who personally gave Hanks permission to make this movie. Y-yeah, the J man knows his film.
