Bob,
We have some issues with a few of the shows that your team has presented in their last development report. Now, Bob, I am not here to bash or criticize your team, I would never do that. You are the brains who gave us such hit shows as Dorm Dating and Angus Young Gardening Emporium. But this new batch for the Fall 2005 season is, how can I put it? Lacking any real promise. Let’s have a look at what you turned in to prove my point.
The Real World: Buffalo
Now, Bob, we all know that The Real World is one of the station’s most profitable shows and by placing it in various cities around the country only adds to the “real” factor. Bob, this factor is a huge part of the show, I will not argue this fact, nor will my colleagues. But, there is a difference between “real” and real. You have to ask yourself: do people really want to see a Real World in Buffalo? Have you read the Times lately, Bob? This is a city that is falling apart. For The Real World we would need police around 24-7, and with the budget cuts in Buffalo, that wouldn’t be possible. Do we want another incident on our hands like the one in Cincinnati, Bob? Do we really? I mean, that scandal was so horrendous we couldn’t even air the season! And all those wrongful imprisonment lawsuits, lord. If you place the show in Buffalo we could expect nothing less than an utmost disaster! Do you remember when we put those horrid greek life shows there? It gave those people such a big head. Buffalo is out, Bob.
Cults of the Famous and the Dead
Bob, we all know Terry is a huge Don Dellilo fan, but does he need to name a show after the last line of White Noise? Getting a tad bit pretentious in his late 20s I see. Even the format of the show is less than stellar, Bob. Sending so-called “reporters” to infiltrate cults of people who have died. Sure, it’s an interesting thing to hear about in passing conversation, but are people actually going to watch this week after week? We have to think about the mass public, Bob. No form of media can survive unless they take into account John Q. Public. Do you think Fox News would be successful if they reported actual news? No, Bob, they wouldn’t. We are here to entertain. Having people follow around groups of people who worship the Big Bopper or Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez in big gatherings with sacrifices and all is not a good ratings boost. And the Rick James cult in Buffalo, Bob? What is it with you and this city? Rubbish, Bob, rubbish.
Famous Footwear
Two things, Bob: I’m pretty sure it’s already a copyrighted name and no one wants to watch a foot-fetishist sniff Ricky Martin’s old sandals.
Study Time for Disease
Okay, Bob, we are not The Science Channel. We are not going to follow one young American week after week and see what sexually transmitted diseases they pick up on their college campus, and then have big information sessions about whatever they contracted. This is a GTV news brief, not a weekly show.
The Zappas
Yes, Bob, we all know The Osbournes was a hit show for a few seasons, but The Zappas would never work in a million years. Sure, they are a well-known family in certain circles but I think you are missing something big here: Frank Zappa is dead. We cannot follow around the remaining members of his family and see what they are up to. This is up there with that Dee Snyder Extravaganza pitch you gave me last season. More rubbish, Bob.
Let’s Read! With Kurt Loder
Bob, a show where Kurt Loder reads literary classics with sound effects by Jim Carrey is not exactly going to grab the attention of America’s youth. Now, if you want to have Kurt Loder and Jim Carey mud-wrestle with Orlando Bloom or Lindsey Lohan acting as referee, then please pitch that show to me, Bob, because it would be a knockout smash!
Now, not all you turned in was bad, Bob. We love Inside Purses of the Stars and Excruciating True Life: Undercover in Palm Springs, and we want more great ideas like this. Oh, and please tell Trisha to stop pitching shows with Jenny McCarthy. What is she now? 80?
Keep those hits coming, Bob. Or else.
Kisses,
Daniela
