As with all artists, a cook can only truly be as good as the tools they use for their culinary creations. We here at Generation realize that it is a difficult task to navigate the housewares aisle at your local Target if you’re not quite sure what type of sauté pan will fit your cooking repertoire, so we’ve compiled this helpful list of the utensils you will need, based on your cooking style.

Aspiring Chef

-Large pot (six or more quarts)

-Small pot (three or less quarts)

-Large, non-stick frying pan (at least 12” in diameter)

-Baking Sheet (9” x 13”)

-Wooden stirring spoon

-Ladle

-Spatula

Honors Student

-Mercury or digital thermometer (preferably both)

-Several cookbooks (with historically fascinating cultural addendums for each recipe)

-Priority use of the kitchen above all non-honors students because, frankly, you’re better than them

Long Island Girls

-Your father’s credit card

-Cell phone (preferably with annoying pop-song ring tone)

-Extensive list of Buffalo-area takeout phone numbers

-Large candy dish or small fishbowl (to be used as a well-stocked condom and lube receptacle)

Ellicott Stairwell Kids (also Student Union Hacky Sackers)

-Bowl (preferably glass blown)

-Digital scale

Member of Football Team

-Single, large fork with which a sizeable amount of beef can be skewered and eaten raw

Member of a University at Buffalo Sanctioned Fraternal Brotherhood

-Glass Beer Mugs

-Funnel

-Shot Glasses

-17 mg Rohypnol

Member of a University at Buffalo Non-Sanctioned Fraternal Brotherhood

-Plastic beer pong cups (preferably red, but blue will suffice)

-1400 mg Rohypnol

Art/English Students

-Thick-framed black glasses

-Cigarettes

-Perpetual look of disgust and contempt

College Republicans

-Grill

-Goofy hats

-Mounds o’ meat

-The proper mix of arrogance and scorn for our nation’s poor/minorities