It’s like being seasick: your head thumps, your stomach turns, and you feel wobbly when you stand up. Everyone who has to uproot and move to a new place for a year of their life undoubtedly feels it, at least the first time. You’re homesick.

When I came to the University at Buffalo in 2003 from Sheldon, NY, I couldn’t figure out what exactly I was missing in my town, since there’s nothing in it. Sheldon, population 2,561, is a town that has a town hall, and that’s it. The nearest gas station is in Strykersville and it also contains the local pub, so there really wasn’t anything to miss. The only possibilities would be my family, or maybe it was the constant smell of manure.

UB won’t even begin to fill that void and seem like home. But don’t worry: you’ll be back at the house you grew up in soon enough. And believe it or not, you may long to be back at UB. For now, though, it’s all about getting started. That means taking the classes, figuring out where the buildings are, settling into the dorms, apartments, or off-campus housing, and finding friends so you don’t feel anonymous at UB.

Slowly you’ll start to learn the moves, like where the best parking spots can be found (and more importantly, how to fight for them), or the best food delivery services (but more importantly, which ones deliver the latest). And of course, how to get into clubs and get alcohol, no matter how old you are.

Veteran UB students already know these tricks: they were once freshmen and had to discover for themselves that UB is not Animal House and that going to class is the best way to get a good grade. Some have had good experiences, and others have had bad ones, but more importantly, they were all promoted from freshmen status and were willing to help incoming freshmen avoid the usual pitfalls.

Being lonely is, in a nutshell, “the anxiety of the unknown,” said Counseling Services director Sharon Mitchell. To help deal with loneliness, freshmen should “take initiative instead of waiting for an invitation,” she said. About 15 percent of freshmen dropped out in 2003-2004, and this loneliness could be one of the major causes.

But most UB freshmen figure out how to deal with it, one way or another. When Russell Tomsa, 19, a computer engineering major, called his roommate before arriving at UB and heard him say that he didn’t care how the room was set up, it took a lot of stress off of him.

When his roommate arrived, though, it was a different story. Nothing was the way he wanted it. Even the rug was in the wrong place! Russell can only look back at that first year and say, “it was pretty rough.”

To add to the tension of this already not-so-good situation, Russell had 8 a.m. classes and would get up early, inadvertently waking his roommate, who was usually unable to get back to sleep. It wasn’t the roommate that was the hardest for him though, Russell said, “A big part of it was that I’m a single child so I had my own room.” He missed his mom and he had to struggle with learning to share a bathroom.

To help deal with his homesickness and his roommate, Russell did what he had done through much of high school: play online role playing games on his computer. Through playing games, “I was kind of getting better,” Russell said. That is, until a month or so into the semester, out of the blue, his roommate said things weren’t working and decided to switch out of the room.

Russell says any progress he had made was erased pretty quickly, especially since it meant a new roommate and more adjusting. He finally started to get himself out of his rut towards the end of the semester, when he met his current UB friends, who lived in his hall. Finally his feeling of being alone and the nasty sensation of missing home dissipated and then disappeared.

Now Russell declares, “It’s a little stressful moving in.” Otherwise, he’s glad to be returning to UB and from what he said, so is his mom. He survived his freshmen year and his long bout of homesickness. Now that he’s made it, to help the other possible sufferers, he advises, “You want to try to make some friends.”

This can be hard, he says, but don’t give up. Check out an event at the Student Union or one of the SA clubs. He tells freshmen, “Go with it for a while; it does get better.”

Not everybody who gets homesick is bothered to the same extent. Alex Sabuda may only be homesick to a lesser degree and even then, it could just be anxiety about college.

For Alex, 18, a freshman and an undecided major, sleeping in a strange bed away from home was no big deal. He had slept over in the dorms before and it wasn’t his first time away from home.

The only thing he really misses from home is the food, he said. No matter how good or bad it was, it was still much better than the dining hall. Then there are the usual comforts of being home, like the ability to eat whatever, whenever he wanted, or sitting on a couch and watching television in the comfort of his living room.

Alex is shy, but he doesn’t let that stop him from meeting new people. What is hard for Alex is the thought of the future. After coming to UB and realizing he is unsure of what to do with his life, Alex says, “This is the first time I have ever had anxiety.”

Making big decisions is something new to him. In high school, most decisions are made for you or your parents make them. In college, the decisions belong to the student alone, placing a lot of responsibility in their hands. As a freshman, that is unwelcome news for Alex.

“I’m not sure what I want to do; I’m just starting out here,” says Alex. For now, there is nothing he can do except take time and figure out what he might be interested in. In the mean time though, Alex has already discovered ways of dealing with the pressure. He played jazz in high school and now he plays for the top jazz ensemble here at UB. In his group he can make friends and relax doing something he enjoys.

One thing Alex says he won’t do is stuff his face with dining hall food to deal with his anxiety. He also suggests, “Don’t substitute drugs and alcohol for homesickness.”

Alex isn’t so bad off, but when Lorena Funes, 20, a psychology major, came to UB she had a rough time at first. She states, “It was scary.” Her roommate didn’t move in at all; she told Lorena she transferred to a different college.

Normally you might think this is a good thing, but not for Lorena; she says, “I was very close-knit with my family.” Being alone in a strange room in a strange place ended up making her cry. The single room helped to increase her loneliness and isolation.

She sought out her RA and spoke to her every couple of hours. She was scared and didn’t know what to do. Her RA told her to “leave [her] door open, people will come in.” Lorena experimented, and for a few days kept the door partially open, but no one came in. So she tried opening it all the way, even though it bothered her, and sure enough, her suitemate entered the room.

That was what did it for Lorena. After that she was introduced to the suitemate’s roommate and then she started to meet her other suitemates. Talking to just one person in the suite helped her a lot, but once she got to know all of them, her homesickness eventually disappeared.

She would tell freshmen to keep their doors open during the day.

“Be open to all new people that you meet,” she says. “Get to know your suitemates really well.” She believes that your suitemates end up being the most important people you meet in college because they are always around you. If you’re not friendly with them you may not have that great of a college experience. However, Lorena warns that if you don’t like them, switch out of the hall and find people more your style.

Lorena and Marla have very similar stories. Marla Sabuda, 20, a junior and a speech and hearing therapy major now realizes that, “there is nothing to be terrified about.” For Marla it was a new environment, one in which she was confined to a dorm room, a tiny one-room space. She missed her home and the food there, especially the wholesome organic produce.

Marla was lucky though and had already met her roommate before moving in. They had found each other at orientation and stayed in the same room that weekend. They developed a bond early and as an outcome were roommates for two years. Now Marla says, “I miss her a lot.” She has a new roommate and it just isn’t the same. One thing that helped Marla her freshman year is when she and her roommate would take study breaks and go outside for some fresh air to talk about the things that were bothering them.

She came up with other ways to deal on her own, too. She kept a journal under her pillow that she would write in in the five minutes before bedtime. Any thoughts of the day or anything that was troubling her was written down on those pages. She found it this summer and was surprised to read what she wrote and to see all of the emotions she had back then.

Now Marla has learned that the only confining thing about a dorm room is how much you confine yourself. She says, “Get out of your dorm room, turn your computer off, step outside, and go for a walk.” She advises that you have to pursue the college experience because “it won’t come to you.”

Sometimes close friends who come to UB together are sort of homesick together. During her first year as RA, Amanda Domm, 20, a junior physical therapy major, had two freshmen girls on her floor that were high school classmates who went home every weekend. They spent lots of time on the phone with a parent or friend from home, stayed in their room, and didn’t often socialize with anyone else.

As an RA, Amanda decided to try to help them meet new people. She would coax the two into coming to the hall programs she ran. They would have fun, but instead of hanging out afterwards, they went back to the refuge of their room. Amanda says, “They didn’t break free. They were living like they were still in high school.”

Later, one switched majors and subsequently switched to a community college, giving the other the opportunity to go out and meet new people. Amanda tried her best, but a pair is harder to reach than one person alone. She gave them some great advice though and wants new freshmen to know it too.

“Get out and meet people,” Amanda says—not just in your hall, but it’s a good place to start. She has come to realize that if something comes your way and you’re not sure about it, just do it; it can’t hurt to try, even if you embarrass yourself. She says, “You’re in college; you only get to do it once.”

All in all, this is good advice from some of UB’s freshmen year survivors. I know it’s hard to come from someplace and be immersed in someplace new, but the shock will wear off eventually and most of the current freshmen will end up thriving. To make it to your sophomore year, you’re going to need to be aware of some things, such as: drinking, although fun, can be dangerous and will destroy your grades. Same goes for not going to classes, and sleeping in the classes you do go to. Just know that if you need someone, there is someone else out there who needs a friend too; so don’t be afraid to talk to people. This isn’t high school anymore—and that’s a good thing.