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Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!!

It’s like playing at Lambeau Field in the Mid-90’s.

I love you

Scott N. for president!!!

I got cock blocked by Bob Sagot

Boobs

Haha, That kid wrote boobs.

I woke up this morning in a Chinese families living room. They would not stop yelling.

Shout out to cohoes: representin’ the 518... thats whats up!

I would like to thank UB’s Adminstration for deciding not to allow Campus Cash to be used in the Liberty Taxi Serive.  For tellin all the freshman at orientation that they would be able to use it and then later than night when getting in the taxi to go home be told that they were lied to.

Happy Birthday Tommy, I adore you!

Looking For Love: SWM, wealthy GOP hatchet man. Fat, balding, neck blubber, glasses. Seeking: Secretary/Kabuki-themed striptease artist. Non-smoker a must. Non-liberal pref. Call 555-1010 or e-mail krove@adultservicesinternational.com.

Divorced Blk M SEEKING killers of my ex-wife and her boyfriend. Will pay large reward of a million bagillion dollars to anyone with info. regarding killers. Hint: I think they were Latino, and they definitely weren’t me. That’s a good place to start. Contact: 19th Hole, Modesto Country Club, Modesto, CA 44444, c/o “The Juice Man.”

Hey girls hugging on the terrace. Stop just hugging and go all the way! Da 319 boyz need a little more action than that.

Hey, this is to the editors oof Genera-DUMB Maga-CRAPP!!1 Yoo think ur soo smrt wiith your magazines and ur not I say that you. UR cover story last wk. offended me. You don’t know about oil. I no oil. THERE’S LOTS OF IT! CRAP-HEADS!!1 Sincerely, Maya Angelou

Who’s coming to FallFest? Will Hoobastank return? Or will Smashmouth take the stage? Maybe Lit. Or Staind. How many once-popular non-rock bands can I name? Answer: One less than than the amount on the short list for FallFest.

UB, where the lectures are irrelovant and the profs. more concerned w/being funny & clever than w/teaching.

Will you be my penguin?

Creekside... a fuckin’ bore... party in my pants... I mean party at my place tonight!!

To whoever set that Fargo firre: That was fuckin sweet thanks for makn my afternoon.

I still know that you masturbated in your room with the blinds open freshman year.

Smoke’em if you’ve got’em.

to the brunette bitch in my CHE102 class. If you’re gonna be so cold, put away that burner and let me light your fire. The stud who spilled the amonia in the bleach.

it sorta troubles me that every time I see an open socket I have to restrain myself from sticking metal objects in it.

Smoke a Blut?

Hey, you gotta say that shit with some force! SMOKE A BLUT!!1 Try it. ‘L Put hurr on ya.

Epilogue: On the weekend of September 24-26, a massive anti-war rally will be held in Washington, D.C. This could go one of two ways. Choice A: The scattered pieces of a righteous and angry nation will finally unite in one voice. Choice B: An opportunistic pageant, complete with quasi-intellectual granola punks, $3 water bottles, and pats-on-the-back for every Democrat within a five mile radius. Warped Tour meets Ben & Jerry's meets Disney on Ice. Either way, it'll be big. Most of us can't afford to get there, so let's bring the fight to campus. Consider this as open plea to UB's activist groups: What can we do here? Contact me (jedrum@buffalo.edu) with suggestions and I'll write about it in the next back Beat. -JD