Lately, it seems that people everywhere and University at Buffalo students alike have been saying ungenerous things about America. Many people are getting tired of all the complaining, and it has become necessary to create a list of reasons everyone could use to remember why America is the greatest country on Earth. Maybe now, countries the U.S. has bailed out in multiple World Wars, places we have given millions of dollars to in aid, or the rest of the world can just get off our backs. Or, at the very least, a few people can smile about some wonderful parts of America. Here are the reasons in no particular order:
JEEP
Anyone that believes in doing one thing and doing it well should love this American SUV manufacturer. This company originally known as Willy’s-Overland has since changed its name and been bought and sold many times. But, one thing has not changed: their commitment to making ass-kicking SUVs since World War II.
Freedom of Religion
AmericanChurchList.com estimates there to be 6,725 churches and places of worship in New York State alone. This First Amendment right is still alive and kicking ass everywhere.
Mark Twain
Mark Twain’s work is best described in this quote by Ernest Hemingway, “All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn...it’s the best book we’ve had. All American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since.”
Mickey Mantle
Only in America could a human being as flawed as Mickey Mantle gather so much hero worship for such a long time. The Mick dealt with laundry list of physical problems and diseases including osteomyelitis (a leg infection that had been known to cripple people), hepatitis c, cirrhosis, liver cancer, and alcoholism. Yet, Mickey was a first ballot Hall of Famer and the last player to win the MLB Triple Crown.
Jenna Jameson
Even if you don’t like porn (and if you say you don’t, you’re probably a liar) you have to respect the multi-million dollar empire Jenna has built from a porn career. She’s the master of marketing and selling her products all over the world. Most guys will tell you that Jenna has some unbelievable assets.
Dedication of Our Troops
The soldiers of the American Military have dedicated their lives to the protection of Americans and people everywhere. These guys and gals kick ass everyday to provide the warm blanket of freedom we sleep under every night.
Girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch Clothing
A&F is one of the clothing companies that has been at the pioneering edge of designing revealing clothing that girls love and guys love to look at. For guys there are few experiences as great as bringing a date to a movie and seeing her purple polka dot thong every time she reaches over to get some popcorn.
Our Proximity to Good Canadian Beer
Some people believe that most of the water in America is too alkaline to make decent beer. But, fortunately, our neighbors to the North make some of the finest beer in the world. Also, thanks to NAFTA, Canadian beer is imported and sold at normal beer prices.
The Weather Channel
Only in America could we invent a cable channel that does nothing but provide people with accurate information about the weather 24 hours a day.
The Sopranos
Millions of Americans, including those without Italian heritage, watch this smash HBO series about the everyday lives of gangsters in New Jersey. Every Sunday night, families are gathered around their televisions rooting for the success of fictional mob boss, Tony Soprano.
The Green Bay Packers' Fans
This NFL team has sold out every single home game at Lambeau Field (72,601 seats as of 2004) since 1960. The waiting list for Packers season tickets has 64,000 people on it. Green Bay, WI has an estimated population of 101,515 (that is less people than Amherst, NY). Obviously, this town of Green Bay supports their team with almost unbelievable passion and love.
The Ramones
Even though it has become very cool to say you’re a Ramones fan and buy that black t-shirt everyone is wearing, the Ramones have had the same ass-kicking-punk-rock-minimalism style since 1976. True fans of the Ramones understand what it means to play music loud and fast
Duct Tape
This American invention is considered by many people to be the most useful invention in the history of mankind. The original use of this Johnson & Johnson invention was to keep moisture out of ammunition cases during World War II, but it has now become a staple of fixing and healing things everywhere.
