Destinys child-beyonces hotness + the weight of 3 elephants + a little bit of voodoo= eng301

Borbwab forever bitches!

1,2,3,4,. 4 back rolls, ah ah ah!! T.O.R.F. haters forever. Everyone loves a good roll, but come on, 4?!?! Can you say “overkill?”

To the fat psych professor, you need to stop waking up too early just so you can get Dunkin Donuts. Your mother should have swallowed you. And yes, you still sound like a horse on an oxygen-mask while shagging.

TVD, Mr. Tuesday Night, stop suckin dicks for sunglasses. We’re all on to you. Drop out and become a full time sailor.

Happy 21st birthday riblet! we love you long time. -love the DAB’s

To the bookstore hottie in ITA101, i like tha way you roll your R’s. let me teach you what else you can do with that tongue. Your secret admirer, I may or may not be dutch.

Photo editor Cuong Nguyen rocks! He should have next weeks issue devoted to him and his photo essays!

DO THIS SHIT!!!

Anyone want to experiment with the “Alaskian Pipeline” contact either Sir Balls or the Micksta.

Dear Nikky, you’re right I think we need more guys to commit beastiality on campus...if people would just fuck the geese, maybe they’d go shit in canada, love the sexual predator.

My name is thumper, I’m kind of like a lava lamp. I’m not too bright, but i can make your day. oh yeah and carrie is hot

To the loser fashion victim in that stupid fraternity. listen, we all know you love california but why put that ugly decal on your big stupid truck?

If i’m not back in five minutes call the pope

you know what i really want in a girl...me

BBM seeking sexy bitches. must be a fan of troll 2 and uwe boll films. Big titties preferred, stupid hoes need not apply-adult swim lover

I want to be with you. Won't you say you'll be my baby? ILU R.A.A. <3 KT

Hey where have u been? I have been waiting for u in my big yellow cab outside of PJ's every night to give u a ride home. Last year was amazing, cant wait to "give u a discount" again. Love, Jimmy

Take that A&F Bitches!I'm on the bus today, eager to get back to the one part of my huge campus that I can actually navigate fairly well, and sitting on my left are two girls. Girl 1 has just stepped out of an A&F catalog (can you feel my hatred already? not to be confused with bitterness) and Girl 2 is some sorority girl (or poser wearing one of those random sorority tee shirts). They begin speaking about diets and food and working out (walking back and forth from Ellicott to North). They talk about carbs and calories and trans fats. Oh, how hard it is to be 94 lbs! To my right is a guy. We'll call him...Guy. He's of average build, not too bad on the eyes and it appears that he is dozing with his iPod singing him a lullaby. The stage is set. Girl 1: So, I was at Putnam's and this girl sat down, and like, her tray was so full of food! And I was like, 'Oh my god, I wish I could eat like that.' Girl 2: Totally! That happened to me the other daywhen I was at Burger King! This girl had like, 3 Whoppers and million thingies of fries. I was so jealous. Guy:Obviously you CAN eat like that if you were at Burger King. Silence. Girl 1 [to Girl 2]: So, how late were you up last night working on your essay? Girl 2: Oh, um, like, an hour or whatever. The rest of the 7-10 minute ride was nice and quiet. Thank you, iPod Guy.

Let me just say, that was the best personal ever submitted in the history of personals, except for smoke a blut!

Make SA accountable! Sign the ‘Reform Our Campus’ petition so that Mazin and Co. have to answer for their corruption!

Amo a mi cholo para siempre!!!

Smoke a Blut!!1

Being shy is just a cover for being really, really rude.

I wish iPod Guy would of been on my bus a couple days ago to save me from the two black cows who gave me the fuckin’ head pound w/ their tryin’ to impress the crackhead bus driver... Happy Birthday Biotch...

MAGIC MISSILE!!!