You know, as much as it pains me to admit it, George W. Bush and I are a bit alike. Take for instance our priorities in the past five years: Dubya has been trying to do the exact same thing to the American public that I have been trying to do to the collective female race. And though we have succeeded in varying degrees, the fact that we can never truly achieve a final goal – yet will never falter in our pursuit of it – is what binds us together.

We are Americans. We share a bond that is great – no matter how we differ politically, theologically, or economically. But what does that really mean – to be American?

One of the major principles that our country was founded upon, aside from racism, slavery, and a general contempt for the poor, was self-reliance. Herbert Hoover, an equally bad if not worse president than Bush called this “rugged individualism.” I like to call it taking one for the team and doing what is right.

Bush surprised us all with a hint of this last Tuesday when he did something for the first time in almost five years as our Commander-in-Chief: he apologized.

On that monumental day, during a press conference on New Orleans, he told reporters that “Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capabilities at all levels of government.” He added, “And to the extent that the federal government didn’t fully do its job right, I take responsibility.”

This may not seem like much to you, but holy shit, if you’ve even been remotely paying attention to the news for the past half-decade, his speech last week is somewhat of a landmark, and maybe – hopefully – will usher in a new era of accountability.

Never mind that by Thursday night he was back to his old tricks – showboating before cameras in New Orleans’ historic Jackson Square like a good ol’ fashioned snakeskin politician – as he announced the single largest federal works project since the New Deal (Without a tax increase no less). What matters is that however weak his apology was, he was forced to make it, and there are a hell of a lot more where that came from.

Another distinctly American characteristic that we’ve held since that insurgency against Britain some 230 years ago has been our strong undercurrent of dissent. Whether it was Thomas Paine spreading his common sense, Frederick Douglas kicking ass and taking names for the slaves, or those damned hippies smoking pot and raising a ruckus about the Vietnam War, our nation has always prided itself on our ability to not only speak out against our government, but to actually provoke changes.

That is why these past few years have been such a sad sight for those of us who don’t side with the majority. We’ve allowed Bush to walk all over us without so much as an admission of any wrongdoing, much less an apology for his actions.

But alas, like all crises of national silence (remember McCarthyism? What a hoot!), we seem to have turned the corner, and Bush’s comments this past Tuesday should be a rally call for anyone who’s fed up with this neo-fascism bullshit (“Oh, you don’t agree with the administration? That’s because you’re a crazy anti-American leftist commie.”).

So hoorah for The Apology, let’s take a victory where we can get one. But why stop there? We’ve got the ball rolling, so let’s open up the flood gates and make Bush to beg our pardon for his other grievous mistakes.

The massive federal debt still looms over our heads, and it’s doing nothing but growing. With millions of dollars being pumped into the Iraq quagmire each day and the pledged billions that will rebuild New Orleans, what was once considered a predicament for our children is quickly turning into the catastrophe of today.

So why then, is Bush still cutting taxes for the rich every chance he gets? In the midst of all of this emergency spending, his administration is in the process of repealing the estate tax – just one more way to fuck us over while his business buddies laugh all the way to the bank.

Even his daddy, the man whose whole presidential platform rested upon the promise of no new taxes, knew when to leave well enough alone. If not an apology, then at the very least the American public deserves a chance to give Bush a swift kick in the ass for his incredibly callous fiscal policy.

Let us not forget the Iraq war in and of itself. In recent months, the Bush administration has been churning out new excuses for our current imbroglio in the Middle East almost as quickly as the American death toll is rising (Not even Karl Rove’s spin machine could touch the exponential rate at which Iraqis are kicking the bucket.).

Why do we stand for this? Why do we allow our peers to be shipped halfway around the globe so that some asshole hawk can throw his feet up on his desk back in Washington and watch the price of his Halliburton stock skyrocket?

The answer to these questions is simple: we shouldn’t. We as American citizens should be demanding not only apologies but accountability for all of these things and more – Bush’s failures leading up to 9/11, the failure of his public school reforms, rising gas prices, the scorn of the rest of the world, and Condoleeza Rice just to name a few.

So stand up, become a part of that great American tradition of dissent and be heard. Call, mail, telegraph – who cares, just let President Bush know that we’re watching him, and that we demand an apology. Until then, we’ll just have to watch our national hopes and dreams wash away like so much of Bourbon Street.