The federal government recently announced that it plans to spend $200 billion cleaning up the Gulf Coast. They’ve already spent about $186 billion on the war in Iraq and $66 billion in Afghanistan.
The White House and congressional Republicans have consistently said that raising taxes is not the answer. They’ve fought efforts to cut spending from the recent energy and highway bills, and maintain their support of a plan to repeal the estate tax.
Well, fine. Then what’s the plan, guys? Recycle soda cans for the deposit? Make the Interior Department shovel driveways for extra cash? Start a “swear jar” at the Pentagon? (A nickel for “damn,” fifty cents anytime somebody mentions Richard Clarke, ten dollars for every time Wolfowitz calls Bill Clinton a pussy, etc.)
In reality, there is no plan. These people are going to keep spending money they don’t have until the waiter cuts up their credit card, which will come in the form of a stock market crash, perhaps coupled with a prolonged recession—the cheery side effects of a neo-conservative administration that hasn’t quite gotten the hang of being fiscally conservative.
When the shit finally hits, the Republicans will probably resort to their angry father technique of deflecting blame, a method perfected by Press Secretary Scott McClellan.
That’s the one where they start by pushing an agenda that anyone with a double digit IQ can tell is batshit crazy. Then when the inevitable crisis occurs and people call them out on it, Bush sends his tubby man-child out to weep in front of the cameras and say, “Look, people, this is no time to start pointing fingers.”
In recent weeks, McClellan has showed this tactic brilliantly. Hurricane Katrina caught the Bush administration with its pants down, furiously masturbating to a copy of Guns & Ammo. Yet they still had the balls to dissuade anyone from actually talking about it.
Just look at McClellan’s briefing from September 6. When a reporter pressed him on accountability for the disaster, McClellan calmly instructed the man as though he were speaking to a retarded child: “Y’know, there are some that are interested in playing the blame game.... We’ve got to stay focused on the task at hand.”
McClellan also dodged questions about the president’s push to repeal the estate tax, an area of policy that shows how out of touch with reality this administration really is, and the disparity between their goals and the interests of average Americans.
The estate tax is a tax on the wealth that passes down to your heirs when you die. Currently, the tax only affects the wealthiest two percent of Americans. Republicans seem to think these people are being unfairly persecuted.
You can almost hear the conversation over golf:
“Oh, Chet, by the way: My dad died yesterday.”
“Seriously, Cliff? That’s so sweet! You can totally get that jet ski now!”
“Well I would, but the damn government is taking a big chunk out to pay for some program like Head Start.”
“Man, it’s just like Puffy said: Mo’ money, mo’ problems, you know? Now cough up the nickel for the D-word, mister.”
It’s important to remember that no matter what happens with the estate tax or the economy it will be our generation, the lazy jackasses who make up the leaders of tomorrow, who will be picking up the check.
Americans are going to face some difficult times in the years ahead. The national debt is a staggering $8 trillion right now. Sooner or later that bill is going to come due. And no amount of posturing or evasiveness will change the ramifications of what happens when there’s no cash left in the federal till.
