YOU COULD HAVE IT JUST AS GOOD PRETTY MUCH
CD Review - Franz Ferdinand: You Could Have It So Much Better
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by Evan Smith
It’s official: stardom has not altered Franz Ferdinand’s M.O. whatsoever. Maybe that’s because these four cocky Scots, who started playing music “for girls to dance to” at art school raves in Glasgow, already considered themselves stars before critics agreed, before they won Britain’s celebrated Mercury Award, and before the sales of their 2004 self-titled debut went through the roof. Fast forward one year and the boys of Franz Ferdinand are still wearing skinny ties, relying on hammering guitar riffs and singing slightly deranged songs for chicks to shake it to on their new 13-track release You Could Have It So Much Better.
If you dug on Franz Ferdinand last year, there’s virtually no doubt you will find You Could Have It a quite agreeable album as well. Despite its lack of obvious super-hits like “Take Me Out” and “This Fire” You Could Have It still sounds like an imported-beer-swilling, give-the-finger-to-a-cop, blow-job-in-the-matinee pictorial. And after you’re done smashing your beer bottle on the curb, running from that officer, and cleaning the schmutz off of your thigh, You Could Have It leaves its listeners with a couple of sincerely enjoyable ballads. The lovely Beatle-esque tunes “Eleanor Put Your Boots On” and “Fade Together,” which push their way through the doors of the pub and take a moment to gaze at the stars, make it obvious that Franz has something more to offer in the way of serious meaning than they let on, if that’s really your bag. But for the most part, this album is a return to disco drums, big guitar, frantic rhythms, and cocksure dance floor rock.
The highlights of Franz’s party-rock include “I’m Your Villain,” a twisting romp about chicks who aren’t into having “fun,” and “Outsiders,” a tight and perky tune with bouncing guitar and a walking bass line in which singer Alex Kapranos maintains: “When you saw me sleeping/ you thought I was dreaming of you/ I didn’t tell you that the only dream is Valium for me.” Whoa, pretty heavy. And then there is the opening track “The Fallen,” a three and a half-minute-long rock and roll blitzkrieg that is quite possibly the best track on the album. This politically charged bulldozer of a track features a chorus that improves each time through, a drunken Scottish chant, and a Kapranos that is forced to nearly rap out the pages of lyrics that squeeze their way into this little ball of electricity.
But just like Franz’s debut, there is some shit to kick your way through on this album. “Evil and a Heathen” is a perfect example of a song that should have never existed. Thank God it’s just over two minutes long. Other filler tracks include “This Boy” and “You’re the Reason I’m Leaving,” tunes that seem as though they were put together on the Franz Ferdinand assembly line in Bangladesh. Luckily, Franz can get away with a few of these considering the fact that their tracks only average in at around three minutes. However, “Do You Want To,” the first single from You Could Have It, is an inexcusable mess. This song is what industry insiders refer to as a producer’s addition. Here is an actual re-enactment:
“Well boys, we’ve got a good album here, but we need to make a piece of crap single that sounds just like your old singles so that we can reel the kids into the new material.”
“You’re the boss.”
Ten minutes later “Do You Want To” was born. But if you can block it and a few other filler tracks from this album out, you should be able to squeeze some enjoyment out of You Could Have It So Much Better.
A MONOTONOUSLY COMMUNIST COLLECTION
CD Review - (International) Noise Conspiracy: Armed Love
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by Michael Dedek
“Let’s all share our dreams tonight under a communist moon,” sings Dennis Lyxzén of (International) Noise Conspiracy, in the-not-too subtly titled song, “Communist Moon.” If under communism our dreams are going to be as flat and repetitive as Armed Love, then fuck the revolution.
Despite its noble Marxist aims, the production of Noise Conspiracy’s Armed Love assembles a lucrative, corporate album for the capitalists of the Los Angeles music industry: 12 monotonous tracks following the commercial, musical formula for success.
In every song, the chorus is sung at least three times, just to make sure that the listener will have some vague remembrance of the band’s lyrics. Noise Conspiracy must hope that someone will crave that sweet, addictive refrain, and actually buy the CD.
Lead vocalist Lyxzén is a singer-screamer, something like Audio Slave’s Chris Cornell, except not as smooth and deep. Lyxzén’s voice sounds thinner and rougher on the higher notes in his register.
Lyxzén’s lyrics express a deep passion about social change, but they have no specific direction; he writes his lyrics like a boy batting blindly at a piñata-effigy of capitalism, hoping some delicious socialist-candy will fall with each swing. Noise Conspiracy falters by conveying the message of rebellion without emphasizing its necessity.
But this doesn’t make Armed Love a complete musical flop. The album has some virtues.
Steady four-four beats and distorted guitar make Armed Love a decent album for pure rocking and dancing. Guitarist Lars Strömberg rips off some Tom Morrello-like riffs—hammers, pull-offs, and repeating motifs, marked by a lack of rhythmic chords—and drummer Ludwig Dahlberg keeps things pounding along with steady, high-energy beats.
Noise Conspiracy aims to move people physically, to make them dance. “O bailan todos o baila nadie” (Either everyone dances or no one dances) is written on the back cover of Armed Love. This phrase accurately captures Noise Conspiracy—encourager of dance and unification.
Lyxzén has said that, “I think it’s important for a band to be an inspiration and not to be some sort of touring lecture… an inspirational fucking clash of fists in the air.” With Armed Love, Lyxzén seems to discourage thought in favor of palpable action.
Armed Love has all the spirit of subversive rock but too much uniformity from song to song. Some good singles may come out of this album, but to listen through it from beginning to end is like communist Chinese water torture.
ACTOR GONE MUSICIAN
CD Review - 30 Seconds to Mars: A Beautiful Lie
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by Justin Touretz
There are few certainties in life: the sun will rise, Buffalo is cold, and Jared Leto is much prettier than you (all of you). Leto, who is best known for his acting roles in Fight Club, Requiem for a Dream, and teen-TV classic My So-Called Life, tries to utilize his fame to launch his alt-rock band, 30 Seconds to Mars’ sophomore effort, A Beautiful Lie.
A few things have changed since this rock quartet released 2002’s self-titled debut. For starters, the band is far more polished and plays tighter, which was desperately needed. Vocalist Leto also recruited Tom Milicivitch to take over guitar duties joining Matt Wachter on bass and his brother, Shannon, on drums to round out the lineup. Aside from that, A Beautiful Lie sounds much like their prior work: decent rock that gets boring after ten minutes.
That’s not to suggest that Leto falls flat on his pretty face—the CD doesn’t entirely suck and Leto himself is a decent singer, even though he does fall back on full-fledged guttural screaming a few too many times.
The opening track, “Attack,” which is set to be their first single, has a sure shot at some radio play as well as MTV face-time due to their front man’s already existing popularity. It’s a raspy-sung, shout-along chorus, with spacey breakdowns and driving guitar parts fitting the mold of any alt-rock act in the last decade.
Other notable album moments come early on in the title track, “A Beautiful Lie,” where the band alternates suspensefully pulsating verses with an uber-catchy chorus. This is followed by “The Kill,” which displays Leto’s vocal range, and allows the rest of 30 Seconds to Mars to come as close as they will ever get to truly rocking out.
The problem is they never quite get there. There are repeated moments on A Beautiful Lie where you expect the group to let loose and create some raging music, which would make for a far better album. But, each time, the emergency breaks are slammed and they fall back down to mellow and dull numbers like “Was It a Dream?” and strip the CD of any momentum. It becomes a chore to listen to it in its entirety.
30 Seconds to Mars shoot themselves in the foot by not allowing themselves to really capture the angst-driven rock sound they are going for. At their best they are a poor man’s version of other sibling-driven rockers Chevelle (now down from three to two brothers); at their worst they sound like a band who came five years too late to the alternative rock radio explosion.
In the scope of actor-led rock outfits, place 30 Seconds to Mars somewhere ahead of Keanu Reeves’ post-grunge disaster Dogstar and behind Juliette Lewis’ punk-revival Juliette & the Licks. For a pretty boy, Leto doesn’t play too badly.
SOULS AND SUCH
Album Review - The Gunshy: Souls
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by Audrey Odhner
Souls is the second full-length record from The Gunshy and is scheduled for release this December on Latest Flame Records. Musician Matt Arbogast is The Gunshy, as Souls seems to demonstrate so clearly. This record is, in many ways, the musical testament to a life fumbling towards contentedness. This is evident in the simplicity and lyrical organicism of a collection of songs that, above all, displays a remarkable honesty.
With Souls, the sense of Arbogast’s self-effacing honesty is manifested in each of the album’s ten confessional tracks. They range in style and composition, but each constitutes a moment inside the consciousness of its creator. One of the record’s most memorable songs, “Last Songs” is about life on the road, solitude, and the constant choice between settling down and pursuing a rootless existence for the sake of a driving passion. Addressed to some unnamed mistress, a casualty of attempted love on the road, “Last Songs” concludes, “Thank you for making me realize, these songs will be my life/ And on the day I die there’ll be no reason to cry or wonder why/ For I was made to preach the haunted truths of those who will never be satisfied.”
Souls is made of simple lyrics like these, which somehow secure a niche in the precarious balance between over and understatement. It seems that Arbogast’s delivery is the crucial factor in maintaining this balance. For instance, in “Last Songs,” a solid drum presence and lead guitar part (reminiscent of a surf rock electric lead) are sufficiently employed to build up melodic tensions at par with those of the lyrics, but don’t over-dramatize them. Even the entrance of an affirmative trumpet does not taint the balance. If the musical accompaniment to such words as these was at any point too much or the least bit pretentious, it would greatly diminish the at times gut-wrenching honesty, which inhabits each musical moment of consciousness.
Perhaps the most striking audible element of The Gunshy’s music is Arbogast’s distinct voice. His gruff, yet elegant vocals constantly reside somewhere between exasperation and repose. The most obvious reference for comparison is Tom Waits, however, a direct parallel feels like a cop-out. Each artist is very different; Arbogast’s voice is far less deep and carries a faint air of desperation that Waits never approaches. His unique voice becomes part of the signature of this album. Its visceral sincerity keeps thoughts of contrivance far at bay, where such a unique voice may otherwise be suspect.
In all, Souls is a beautifully written and recorded collection of songs offered with a startling degree of honesty. Gradually, the unassuming ten-track confessional disarms anyone who will listen with an amount of sincerity equal to the album’s, baring to them the soul of its professor.
A BRIEF AND FRIGHTENING REVIEW
Book Review - George Saunders: The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil
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by Michael Torsell
In his latest novella, a fable entitled The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil, George Saunders uses a simple format to cast a fractured mirror on modern politics and society. An entertaining story that begins lightheartedly and quickly becomes very solemn, Saunders’ book is more than a simple story about robots. Easily read in one sitting, The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil is smart and memorable.
Inner Horner and Outer Horner are two countries divided by a significantly disproportionate degree of wealth and size. Outer Horner is a country of almost limitless land and wealth. Inner Horner, on the other hand, can only fit one of its citizens at a time, while the other citizens take turns living in a temporary zone set aside by their larger neighbors. One day, Inner Horner suddenly contracts to such miniscule dimensions that it can no longer hold even one person. Meanwhile, a contingent of citizens residing in Outer Horner led by Phil (whose rise to power does not begin until his brain accidentally falls out) has decided that the harmless refugees represent a threat to their country and must be dealt with. The situation escalates until it comes to a violent catastrophe that leaves both nations in ruins.
The fable begins with a lighthearted tone but quickly becomes more serious until characters are humiliated and later killed. Ethnic prejudice, genocide, nationalism, and selfishness are all excellently represented. From a neighboring country whose only concern is to be happy and a press that shouts out everything regardless of whether it is actually news or not, Saunders’ commentary on modern society and warfare is prescient and thought provoking. The straightforward language brings the themes to the forefront and work to the book’s advantage. Illustrations by Benjamin Gibson are excellent representations of what is going on, albeit indirectly, and help the already incredible book.
The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil is an entertaining short piece that succeeds in what it does. Saunders takes the fable format and makes it into something current and wildly enjoyable. The story shines with a high degree of humor amplifying the effect of the catastrophe at the end. Incredibly imaginative, Saunders uses his characters and settings to their full potential and has crafted a book that is as memorable as it is entertaining. A good story and an even better examination of modern times, The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil is a worthwhile work.
THIS AIN’T JIBBA JABBA
Music Video Review - Mr. T: Treat Your Mother Right
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by Alex Nye
Busta Rhymes spent over $2.4 million to create “What’s It Gonna Be.” Michael Jackson wasted over seven million clams on his forgettable space voyage, “Scream.” Conversely, Mr. T, on a shoestring budget, produced the standard to which all music videos have since been measured with “Treat Your Mother Right.”
The video begins unconventionally with a young boy and a teenage girl insulting each other face-to-face. “Yeah, well you are so skinny your eyes are in single file” is amongst the slander. The disrespect rapidly gravitates towards the ever-so-popular “your mother” jokes. In mid-sentence, Mr. T steps in from nowhere to hopefully smash some skulls. Instead, he attempts to settle the dispute between the kids in melodic form.
If that last sentence is too cryptic, it basically means that Mr. T, of all people, avoids violence when he whips out a concealed microphone from the back of his short-shorts and “sings” about treating mothers with the utmost respect and admiration.
The irony here is not directed at the thought of Mr. T—the brute who beat up Rocky or the guy who tossed dwarves to win the Toughest Bouncer Competition—taking a passive role; what is ironic about the video is that it is so bad that it loops around the rating’s spectrum and becomes awesome. If it were any better, it would be no good.
To explain: As soon as Mr. T makes his introductory speech, the camera pans out to reveal a quintessential ‘80s studio set. Mr. T, on lead vocals, is in the foreground in this psychedelic romper room. The background singers, dressed in plain garb, stand to the side and open the song with a screechy chorus, “Treat her right! Treat your mother right!”
It becomes quickly apparent that the ladies in the foreground are novices and must have decided not to practice together before recording this one-take wonder. Their plaintive routine lacks creativity and, well, rhythm. Mistakes in their choreographed dance are quite evident. The whole thing makes you wonder if it is some kind of joke.
The answer to that never becomes clear. However, Mr. T is wearing nut-hugger shorts, his socks are up to his knees, and his dancing involves nothing more than wiggling his shoulders and slapping his knees. Granted, anyone with 40 pounds of gold chains around their neck and large dream-catcher earrings would dance like a statue as well.
In addition to watching Mr. T and friends butcher a music video, the viewer is also subjected to interposed file footage of kids being nice to their parents. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it seems so fake to watch these smarmy little snots act decently.
For all of the video’s shortcomings, other more costly endeavors hold no torch to “Treat Your Mother Right.” Even with all of the appearances by Janet Jackson in “Scream” and “What’s It Gonna Be,” they still pale in comparison. I pity the foo who don’t watch this.
The best way to locate the video is to type “Treat Your Mother Right” in a Google search.
RENT: FROM BROADWAY TO MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK
CD Review - Rent Soundtrack
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by Lara Nardone
It’s about time that someone made a film out of Jonathan Larson’s Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning rock opera RENT. If the movie proves to be as entertaining and lively as the soundtrack is, there won’t be room for disappointment.
The motion picture soundtrack for RENT might be a bit different for those people who are used to listening to the original Broadway cast, but that’s to be expected when turning a Broadway musical into a shorter length film. Some songs must be deleted and some of the songs that are kept must be condensed. The motion picture soundtrack keeps it simple and sweet, leaving out the songs that best fit only in the musical itself and not on the soundtrack for a movie (such as the “Tune Ups” and “Voicemails”). Many of the songs have slightly different beats and altered lyrics, but for the most part the soundtrack stays close to the sound of the original Broadway production.
What’s really interesting to note is that the motion picture soundtrack keeps much of the same cast as the original Broadway production. Anthony Rapp revisits his role as Mark Cohen, as Adam Pascal keeps his role as Roger Davis, and Taye Diggs continues to give an excellent performance as Benjamin “Benny” Coffin III.
The only voice that doesn’t fit well with the cast was Rosario Dawson’s take as Mimi Marquez. Without even comparing her to the original Broadway production, in which Daphne Rubin-Vega plays Mimi, Dawson still doesn’t make her voice fit the role. It’s hard to say whether or not her actual acting will flow more naturally in the movie itself but her voice does not. She doesn’t have any of the seductive, sexy, tough-girl edge in her voice that Mimi is supposed to have. The songs with Dawson seem to have less heart and soul in them. However, a great new addition to the cast, Tracie Thoms as Joanne Jefferson, manages to pull off her character’s voice nicely, so not all hope is lost.
The CD itself begins with the song “Seasons of Love,” which is a good choice for the opening, as it introduces the sound of RENT to the audience, with the cast singing an upbeat song. The soundtrack moves into the other songs gracefully and they are performed with a power and intensity that is both moving and captivating. Idina Menzel, who plays Maureen Johnson, has a performance in the track entitled “Over the Moon” which is especially notable and entertaining to listen to.
One worthless track on the CD is “Love Heals,” which is a bonus track at the very end. It’s hardly a bonus. It should have been left out because it sounds like something that would be played at a high school dance in some really crappy teen romance movie.
The RENT soundtrack is available in stores now for anyone who might be interested in either getting a jumpstart before seeing the film or for those who have never heard the musical and want to give it a try.
GIGGLE MACHINE
Movie Review - Waiting
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by Amanda Lerman
Going out to eat will never be the same again after feasting your eyes on Waiting, the new movie written and directed by first-time filmmaker Rob McKittrick. Following suit with the recent string of successful R-rated comedies like Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year Old Virgin, the film details the bored rituals of common workers who find that the only means of escape from the mundane nine to five world comes from their various sexual enterprises. In the slacker tradition of Kevin Smith’s Clerks, the crew of unique characters collectively fights off boredom and adulthood with crazy antics, namely the “making your own penis game.” The film successfully relates the experience of what it’s like to wait tables and deal with rude customers and it shows what truly happens in the kitchens of franchise restaurants.
Waiting is set at a franchise called Shenanigan’s (think Bennigan’s, Chili’s, and T.G.I. Fridays rolled into one). The plot revolves around Dean (Justin Long), an average guy trying to find his way in the world. He’s pulled into depression by his mother who constantly reminds him of his honor-roll student status. Now that he is waiting tables and pulling the pranks with his co-workers, he is brought down by his mother who points out how his old classmates are in universities and getting high-paying jobs. Eventually, the monkey wrench is thrown and Dean comes to a crossroads where he is faced with the decision to leave behind all of his hopes for another life and dedicate himself to the restaurant by taking a promotion as manager.
The foil to Dean’s misery as a character is Monty (Ryan Reynolds), or as he should be called, Van Wilder II, since Reynolds plays the same exact character, just in a different setting. In Waiting, Reynolds plays on the same witty, smooth, ruling-the-school persona he perfected in Van Wilder, and although his character is redundant, the jokes were uproarious from start to finish.
In one of the film’s sub-plots, Monty helps guide rookie Mitch (John Daley), on his first day of work at Shenanigans. In describing Monty, Mitch gives an example of the verbal wit inherent throughout the film: “So you’re the coolest guy at Shenanigans, big fucking deal! That’s like being the smartest person with Down’s Syndrome!”
Common gags include scenes where irate cooks spit and insert hair into the food of snooty clients. There is also plenty of sex (which takes place in the restaurant’s public bathrooms) and the ongoing “penis game” where participants try to trick each other into seeing their genitals. It’s good, wholesome fun that will make you wonder exactly what you’re eating the next time you go out for a meal.
Although Waiting has a built-in audience with anyone who has ever worked in the food service industry, it lacks a strong theme and quality acting. But it manages to perform well on a basic comedic level. This film is purely laughing gas and has no other intention than to stir you up. So, if you’re looking for an ice breaker for a first date, an escape from life’s tedious duties, or anything but one of those cookie-cutter sappy love stories, then your answer is Waiting.
