“How can you trust someone who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can’t even trust his own pants.”-Henry Fonda, Once Upon a Time in the West

As the ruthless killer, Frank, in Sergio Leone’s classic spaghetti western, Mr. Fonda addresses a question I have often struggled with when considering the liberal platform in America. How, in fact, can you trust someone who can’t trust their own pants? You can’t, and in the light of the University at Buffalo College Democrats’ upcoming Bash Bush Bonanza on Wednesday, October 19, I find this answer to be extremely disheartening.

The UB College Democrats are in affiliation with the College Democrats of America, the official college outreach program of the Democratic Party. In response to President Bush’s re-election, his policies, and the G.O.P.’s stranglehold on the machinery of our political system, the club, in true liberal form, will offer students the opportunity to literally bash a car with a sledgehammer as a moving expression of how pissed off they are that things are not going their way. The object of this is to garner interest for the UB Democrats, raise money for their party, and fake students into thinking that they are actually making a difference by showing Bush and his cronies who is boss.

Without a doubt, George W. Bush will be moved by an angry mob of pabulum-puking, bleeding-heart liberals smashing the shit out of a car that symbolizes his presidency—and most likely, he will shed a tear. Maybe even two. Then again, he might just laugh to himself as he sits in a bubble bath discussing Condoleeza Rice’s booty with Vice President Cheney on the phone. Who knows?

There are many maybes and few certainties in the debate between the Democrats and the Republicans. One certainty is that neither extreme will solve any problems if they remain focused on tearing each other apart. Another fact is that George W. Bush wears the pants now. Better yet, George W. Bush is the pants now. He’s not a good pair of pants, but he is all we have to cover our arrogant asses for the time being.

If liberals are going to arm themselves with pitchforks and torches and run screaming towards the White House gates, destroying automobiles and burning effigies in their wake, they will do nothing but fan the fire and start a rain of rubber bullets and tear gas. The odds that anyone would listen to them after displaying this behavior would become slim to none.

Speaking as a registered Democrat and a moderate at that, I hope that the UB College Democrats have something more to offer students at the Bash Bush Bonanza. It may be fun to unleash with a sledgehammer through the windshield of a car, but this only plays into Republican expectations. They know what they are doing. That’s why they are in charge right now. That’s why liberals and those in between have to pay attention and beat them at their own game. If the Republican Party keeps making mistakes, the Democrats have to call them on it and show them that they’re the better person by helping them figure it out.

Trust them. Trust your pants.

It’s easy to complain and blame Bush for our situation in America just as it’s easy to wax political on the subject and point your finger at any special interest group. But, it isn’t easy to face the truth.

We are responsible.

So, in the words of Detective John Kimble, “Stop whining!” No one likes or listens to people who complain too much.

Until the Russians take over,

Raph Tombasco

Pulse Editor

Raphael Tombasco is Generation’s Pulse editor. His favorite video game is Contra, and he hates liberals as much as he hates conservatives.