To my dearest Long Islander suitemate:You do not need to be terrified of condoms.  It was I who hid them all over your room, and I also bought them with your money.  Have fun with your condoms! "Just Wear It."

To the fine English Major who dances around in a towel... you can wash my car any day.

To all those who rock the "goach" bags wit the "G"s all over them......i know its not guess its a fake ass coach bag and if u cant afford it then buy a different fuckin bag...we all know your shit is fake yea im shouting you out.....get rid of ur bootleg shit

Amen, sister!

To the sexy husky boy that lives in  building 1 fargo on the 3rd floor end room that rocks the orange jump suit, I see you everyday but I cant bring myself to say hi. Are you lactating now cause i wanna taste the nectar of the Gods. And that ass, u can turn a lump of coal into diamonds between those cheeks.

to the 2 fat cows that sit in front of our Intro to Education class: first, the blonde one, your tattoo is ugly just like your face. stop wearing skimpy clothes, they look hideous on you (that means doesnt look good). to the brown haired one, you're obnoxious and you dont need to be the center of every conversation. also, you cant just decide one day that hockey is your sport when you know nothing about it. you both need to run some laps and stop stuffing your faces

Found 1-23-06 Lost watch. Found in grass on the west side of Kimball Tower. Please send a description of your watch and if it matches, I will contact you. mcnewport03@yahoo.com

boo hoo hoo, what will all of those lowly freshman do now that PJ's is wiped off the freakin' map??? hahahahaha!!!

To the bastard cop that tried to bust down my door and arrest me. Fuck you! and fuck you for taking my chalked ID.

Free Mumia!

To the short latino boy who plays football outside of goodyear. I want to rip that black wife beater off of you and you can sack me any time-your secret admirer.

Welcome home Jess, we missed you. Hope your mouth feels better.

Remember that song “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” Well, apparently they’re gay.

For God’s sake kids, smoke a blut!!1 For Punxsutawney Phil.

It’s been almost a year and half since the situation in Darfur, Sudan was declared genocide by our own government in front of the United Nations. It is estimated that over 300,000 people have died as a result of ethnic cleansing campaigns and an additional 1.8 million have been displaced from their homes. In order for something to happen that will make our goverment intervene, we have to first stand up and take notice ourselves. If anyone is interested in forming an organization here at UB that would work towards a peaceful solution to end the violence in Darfur, please email me: cjahearn@buffalo.edu. -CA