Boost your future business with a [sic] impressive logo

Starting a new business and don't know what begin with? Remember—job well begun is a j0b well done. The largest part of your future success depends on the image you company will produce on the target audience.

Most of your customers will associate your business with a certain Logo and identity. That's what you need to take care today. Logofuture will provide your business with a custom, professionaIly-looking logo and corporate identity. We will make your visual image unique to distinguish you from the competitors and memorable to leave a lasting impression on your customers.

Have look at our portfolio, check our prices and hot deals. Make this small step your future success right now.

-Traci Ferguson

Dearest Traci,

First off, you engrish not so good, no? But aside from that, I'm kind of interested to find out what's up with these logos you speak of. You say that, “the largest part of [my] future success depends on the image [my] company will produce on the target audience.” So what I want to know is how exactly do you produce these logos on my target audience? Are we talking, like, just some kind face paint deal here? Like when some clueless father terrifies his four-year-old daughter by having a toothless carnie in a clown get-up paint what is ostensibly a “kitty” on her face, but it ends up looking more like a mongoloid walrus? Or is this a more permanent logo, like say a tattoo? Or do you sear my logo into their forehead with a blazing hot brand? And do I have to get my target audience's permission to do this, or are you cool with just randomly branding some dude off the street who I point out to you? Because that’s kind of awesome, and I might be down for it. Producing my logo on the target audience that is—not being branded.

I eagerly await your response,

Christopher Ahearn

Editor in Chief

An Open Letter to Our Readers:

So people, here's the deal. If you guys don't send anything in to us, we're forced to wait until the last moment, just before we send the magazine off to the printer, and be like, “Oh shit. The letters page. Fuck. We forgot it again. Did we get any of those 'Erection Pack' spam emails this week?”

Come on, kids, shoot something on over our way.

Got written submissions? We'll take 'em.

Want to reply to one of our stories in front of an audience of thousands of readers? You can do that here.

Has it always been your dream to be publicly insulted by Jake Drum for misspelling a word and using improper grammar? We can arrange that.

You can address your hate mail to:

sbi-generation@buffalo.edu.

Cheers,

Christopher Ahearn

Editor in Chief