VICKY’S SECRET
Store Review - Victoria’s Secret
8/10
by Susy Kim
Victoria’s Secret defines sexy. Famously known for their glamorous and exotic lingerie that have both women and men turning heads, this year Vicky definitely has something up her sleeve for Valentine’s Day. Just like The O.C.’s Seth and Sandy Cohen, you too can surprise someone special this V-day with a pink and white bag.
Victoria’s Secret is the most well-known lingerie shop of all time. They have many different lines of lingerie that suit every girl’s needs. With Valentine’s Day coming up, Victoria’s Secret is crowded with females who want to look for a little outfit to spice things up as well as some males who came to purchase lingerie for their significant other. The lonely ones just come to drool over the huge posters of sexy models such as Adriana Lima, Gisele Bundchen, and Tyra Banks.
The new collection of lingerie now available at Victoria’s Secret can bring more than just tiny panties into your bedroom. About a year ago, Victoria’s Secret launched Sexy Little Things, which consists of sexy little lingerie and accessories. This collection is different from other lines at Victoria’s in that it offers many accessories that can come in handy when you want to get down and dirty. You can find pieces such as a Naughty Night Gift Set ($58) which according to Victoria’s Secret can help you “give yourself a reason to look forward to long winter nights.” This set includes satin tie-up cuffs, a satin eye mask, a lavender candle, and a satin v-string. Your Valentine’s Night will surely be naughty with this erotic, yet still classy set. Or, if you’re daring, try the Sexy Poker Kit ($28) including a deck of playing cards, 60 pink and black chips, and a black satin pouch to put them all together. Maybe you can play for something other than a little cash. Better yet, if you’re feeling really lucky, take your chances with Sexy Little Dice ($14) which comes with two chrome dice with suggestive sayings in a hot pink satin pouch. Sexy Little Things also offers other accessories such as feathery whips, pink heart pasties, reminder notes with romantic sayings, and a tiara to steam up your night.
If Sexy Little Things does not satisfy all your needs, Victoria’s Secret offers other collections such as Very Sexy, Angels, Victoria’s Secret PINK, and Glamour, which offer a variety of lingerie for all occasions. You can also purchase perfume, lotion, and other beauty products that were especially formulated to make you feel sexy. Though some of their items are pricy, it is definitely worth it to purchase them for a special occasion such as Valentine’s Day. Victoria’s Secret is all about fun and play; make sure you get your toys for the upcoming holiday. To check out more of what Victoria has to offer visit their website or stop by one of their stores.
DO IT FOR DAVE
Restaurant Review - Wendy’s
9/10
by Joe Speranza
As always, during this time of year, many people are scrambling to find the perfect place to take their significant others out on a date. Inevitably, some will choose Salvatore’s, Carabba’s, or even UB’s Center for Tomorrow. I, however, think it’s wise to choose a more humble location, which is why, if she lived here, I would take my girlfriend to Wendy’s.
Situated on Maple Road, just before North Bailey Avenue, Wendy’s is a small, unimposing restaurant offering a wide variety of dishes. From mouth-watering burgers to delicious salads, Wendy’s has enough to satisfy anyone’s palate. Furthermore, it is extremely cost-efficient; unlike a fancy steakhouse or a fine Italian bistro, you would have to try hard to spend more than $20 on you and your date at Wendy’s.
The first thing you notice upon walking in is that there is a very short wait. Although it can get crowded, a reservation isn’t necessary. Instead, all you do is follow the little maze towards the cashier, just like going to the bank.
As I mentioned before, the menu is quite large. But don’t go crazy; you don’t want to get too full and not be able to enjoy any sort of late-evening activities. Two Caesar Side Salads would be a nice start. With fresh-cut romaine, shredded parmesan cheese, and pieces of real bacon, it’s the perfect starter. As an added bonus, Wendy’s even puts the creamy Caesar dressing on the side in order for the customer to enjoy the salad with an amount of dressing they are comfortable with.
Along with the salad, for the main course, there are burgers, chicken fillets, and a fish sandwich. For Valentine’s Day, I’d go with the Spicy Chicken Fillet. The juicy, tender chicken, accompanied with Wendy’s’ own blend of fiery peppers and spices is sure to get anyone hot. For the less adventurous, there is a wide array of hamburgers, including the famous Big Bacon Classic, complete with American cheese and three full strips of Hickory-Smoked Bacon. A hearty sandwich if I’ve ever seen one.
However, as anyone would tell you, food alone does not make a meal. If it did, more people would just toss a Hot Pocket into the microwave, watch some Flava of Love and call it an evening. But Wendy’s is all about the atmosphere. The wooden chairs and tables, along with the spacious seating, create a setting that’s only a fireplace short of the comfort of an Adirondack lodge.
And last but not least, if you and your date are feeling a bit naughty, there is the Frosty. The dessert is synonymous with Wendy’s for good reasons. Made with real milk, it has the consistency of a milkshake mixed with soft ice cream and is quite tasty. And, of course, it is light on the wallet.
So, when thinking about where to go on Valentine’s Day, don’t hate on Wendy’s. Sure, Salvatore’s might be “romantic” and Carabba’s might have “good food,” but nothing combines the two like the W.
LADIES LOVE BAD BOYS
Website Review - Prisonpenpals.com
5/10
by Alex Nye
Meeting unknown people off the Internet is risky these days. Dreamy blind dates prepared over the web have often lead to nightmarish situations.
Yet going to singles bars and talking with someone face to face the old-fashioned way is difficult for some people. So, what are these introverted individuals to do?
Well, if they still have a sense of adventure in the age of the Internet, a prison pen pal is the often overlooked alternative to instant messages and escort services. With thousands of people already involved and many more profiles added weekly, finding your match at Prisonpenpals.com is as easy as, well… getting arrested. Best of all, it’s free!
Prisonpenpals.com has numerous profiles from inmates to search through. Everything is categorized for your convenience. There are updated lists of available inmates with short biographical tales told in their own words. Both men and women are included on the site with specific classifications as to their charged offense and potential release date.
For most, a prison pen pal is a novel idea that people hesitatingly step into, if at all. That is why Prisonpenpals.com is willing to answer any questions you may have. The site also shows you how to obtain important information like the criminal history of a prisoner or how to organize a book drive for a cell block. Overall, the site promotes safety and encourages you to use common sense when engaging their “clients.”
However, Prisonpenpals.com does not want to be viewed as a last hope for the desperate, but rather as a pragmatic act of kindness. Even if you are not seeking romance, you can still find a lonely friend to communicate with or fulfill your altruistic side. There are personal pleas from “wrongfully incarcerated” inmates in need of a knowledgeable lawyer and artistic men and women showcasing their talents. No matter your motives, your attention is certainly appreciated.
But, let’s not beat around the bush for too long. The majority of the pen pals on this website are hoping to find someone to enjoy their free time with on the outside. Some personals are very up front. Others are more subtle. Yet, most everyone seems sincere.
Michael, who is in a prison here in New York for manslaughter of the first degree, writes: “I enjoy being emotionally and physically close to my partner—if I was dirt poor and in love, as well as loved by my partner, it wouldn’t matter to me if we ate from garbage pails or the Beverly Hills Hilton.”
Renaissance Poets never said it so well.
Act fast though! Charmers like Michael will only be around until his paroled release in August of 2009.
GOOD VIBRATIONS
Store Review - Xsentuals
8/10
by Justin Touretz
Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday created for the sole purpose of forcing guys to give their girlfriends (or whomever) free dinners, chocolates, flowers, bling, and an assortment of fluffy caricatures of animals in order to display their apparent love.
At least, that’s the boring way to view this pseudo-holiday. But, instead of getting in line to bash on how “Hallmark” this holiday has become, why not take your chance to embrace it for all it’s worth? If you have any “game” as the kids call it, you should be able to turn V-Day into a raucous night of the no-pants dance and the kind people from Xsentuals are ready to help you tap some ass.
What sets Xsentuals apart is that you are greeted by a young, attractive, and smiling cashier who asks if you need any help. You won’t find better service in Victoria’s Secret. The friendliness of the staff should help put you at ease, especially if you have never previously been in a sex shop. They will gladly aid in showing you some of the more popular items, particularly for the novices, which can help spice up your Valentine’s Day nightcap.
For starters, lubes and massage oils (average price around $15) are always popular and they come in a variety of scents and flavors. The now widely known Rabbit Vibrator (as mentioned on Sex and the City) is a big favorite among young couples ($54). Other Xsentuals picks come in the form of another vibrator called the Micro Butterfly, priced at $62. But the top staff pick, especially for those of you who have never experimented with any toys in the bedroom, is the Vibrating Cock Ring ($24.55) since it’s enjoyed by both participants. And isn’t that what this holiday is all about—sharing a moment of love with that special (naked) someone?
Xsentuals’ décor doesn’t match the stereotypical sex shop layout, if there is such a thing. It’s meticulously clean, neatly arranged by products, and utterly lacking in the shady department. Sure, there are the typical gag gifts found in any Spencer’s such as genital mugs, penis pasta, gonad cake tins, and nudie playing cards, but do yourself a favor and look for something you’d actually consider trying. There are several items (dildos, lube, oils, etc.) put out on display for the customer to actually hold and see if it would be something they or their partner would be into. The key here is comfort, so if you need an icebreaker, check out the assortment of sex games to ease into each other’s pants.
Xsentuals also provides a rather large selection of dildos, anal beads, instructional books, DVDs, and lingerie, but lacks in the sexy costume department. So, if that’s your thing, you might be better off digging out your last Halloween costume.
Xsentuals is the perfect place to go if you want to get your Valentine something a little extra special. But if you plan on giving them a dildo molded from your own penis ($98), I’d make sure to give the flowers first.
QUE SERÁ SARAH
My Date with Sarah Mills
3/10
by Bobby Ellis
The independent music scene is currently bursting at its creative seams with some of the most diverse and exciting artists to come out in years. There’s a seemingly endless number of bands within hundreds of categories and subgenres to discover. Why, then, was Sarah Mills listening to Smash Mouth’s All Star Smash Hits when she came to pick me up for our date this past Saturday?
Introduced through a mutual friend, I had high hopes for my excursion out with Sarah Mills, a junior psychology major at Canisius. From glossing over her Facebook page several times I learned she was passionate about the environment, an avid snowboarder, loved long conversations, and that some guy named Steve from Bucknell wished she lived closer so he could “tap dat fine ass” of hers (she really did have quite an impressive ass). None of that mattered, however. The date was off to a horrible start.
When we arrived at Starbucks I tried my hardest to start topical conversation, but that turned out disastrous. After a long and awkward pause, Sarah started talking about how she used to ride horses. My mind wandered as I tried my best to feign interest. Her horse riding story was dry, to say the least, and to say the very best, it was minimally coherent. To liven things up I interrupted her and made an off-color remark about the old children’s cartoon Denver, the Last Dinosaur concerning exactly what “he’s my friend and a whole lot more” entailed. She looked confused and then excused herself to the restroom.
When she came back she looked like she’d been crying or something. I said, “What’s wrong with you?” to show I was concerned. She just went on again blabbing about horses and something about her family or whatever. I was hurtled back into the tedium of my horse-addled reality when Sarah asked me a question. I hadn’t been paying any attention, so I asked her if she could please repeat herself and, in the future, speak up. She then mumbled something that sounded like “What’s the point…” as she looked away. She certainly wasn’t scoring herself any points with me with an attitude like that.
When she finally dropped me off at the end of the night, I tried to make a clever, yet vaguely flirtatious comment to lighten the mood, so I said, “So, I’ve probably got about as good a chance of getting to second base tonight as we’ve got of ever hearing new Guns N’ Roses on the radio, eh?” At that point I think she started to cry again, but you’d be hard pressed to know for sure from the speed with which she pulled out of the parking lot. Now I know why everyone’s always complaining about women drivers.
Ultimately the date didn’t quite go as I had planned, and although her personality was almost non-existent, Sarah was really, really hot—I’ve since called her back several times, but with no response. On our date I couldn’t ever get her to shut up, and now she won’t even return my phone calls. What’s the deal? Woe is me—the life of the male college student music reviewer is a lonely one. Will I ever find true love?
