Are you single and looking for a date this Valentine’s Day? Do you enjoy long hours and little pay? Do you want to see your significant other at best 20 minutes a week on Sundays? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then go right ahead and fill out this little quiz, CosmoGIRL!-style. See who your best match is on the staff of Generation.

What do you first notice in the

opposite sex?

A. Teeth

B. Hair

C. A warmer temperature

D. El Culo (that means ass, gringo)

Who is your ideal Valentine’s

Day date?

A. Anthony Hopkins

B. Boyfriend/girlfriend

C. An ex-Nun

D. She has at least two of the following three

qualities: a vagina, low standards, and a pulse

What is the best gift you could

receive?

A. Poker and drink chips

B. Undying love

C. A razor scooter with a basket on the front

filled with Sparks

D. A blowjob, obviously

What do you write to your

Valentine?

A. “Remember don’t call an ambulance, just

take me home and put me to bed.”

B. “Eres el amor de mi vida.”

C. “Dear Mom, Thanks for the gloves. Yes I

am eating right.”

D. “Thanks for the cash—I owe you one. And

no, I’m not avoiding you, my cell phone really

is broken.”

What would you have planned for

an unforgettable date?

A. Lounging around on the beaches of Mars,

then jet set off to Uranus

B. Dinner and dancing

C. Six hits of meth, a bottle of Seagram’s 7,

and an electric flyswatter

D. A fifth of whiskey at a local dive bar,

noise-core blaring over old, blown-out speak

ers before retiring to an unwashed, semi-pri

vate bathroom where we can “hit the slopes”

and copulate furiously for at least four min-

utes

What would you have planned for

after the date?

A. Cruising back to Mars for last call and

passing out in a Schiaparelli canal

B. Red wine and a spliff

C. Gatorade and tearful apologies

D. A warm bed for me and a cab ride for the

lucky lady (she pays)

How do you respond when someone

says, “I love you!”?

A. Thanks!

B. I love you too!

C. Zoinks! [Bongo sound effects; me-

shaped hole in the wall]

D. I glance at the floor awkwardly, say

“thanks,” and make sure not to make eye con-

tact for at least five minutes.

Finish this sentence: “Be my…”

A. Crapentine

B. Zombie

C. Noncommittal, non-calling, sexual-

whenever-I-feel-like-it best friend

D. Future ex-wife and illigitimate baby’s

mama

Have you ever walked in on your

parents?

A. No, but I’ve unfortunately heard them a

few times

B. No

C. I interrupted a Scrabble game once. I had to

miss the next three days of school…

D. I don’t follow.

Answer Key:

If you answered mostly A’s, your ideal date is Supervising Editor Regina Young.

If you answered mostly B’s, your ideal date is Senior Editor Ann Marie Olivo.

If you answered mostly C’s, your ideal date is Associate Editor Jacob Drum.

If you answered mostly D’s, your ideal date is Editor in Chief Chris Ahearn.