If you’re anything like me then your last happy memory on February 14th was when Erin, your second grade crush, gave you a Ninja Turtles card wishing you a “totally shell-tacular Valentine’s Day!” Also if you’re anything like me then you’re far more likely to wake up next to bottle of Barton’s or an empty 30 pack of keystone light than a loving partner on February 15th. Let’s face it, not everyone looks forward to this godforsaken holiday, especially in college; where you’ll probably be, at best, spending the night with someone you know you have a pretty decent chance of hooking up with, and not someone you might actually care about. Have I depressed you yet? Good. While you share in my misery I can share with you my top five favorite movies to watch on Valentine’s Day.
While some people might take the easy way out, and suggest movies to you which avoid the topics of love and relationships altogether, that just seems even more depressing to me. Watching Rambo nine times in a row will not help you forget what day it is. If you want to attack this evil institution, you’ve got to do it head on; which brings me to my first pick:
5. Love, Actually – If this movie doesn’t melt your frigid heart and show you all the possibilities of love which the world has to offer you, even if you’re that freakish looking kid who has the very weird relationship with his step-father, then there is just no hope for you whatsoever. Even if love actually isn’t all around you, it certainly is all around this movie, and all around me while I watch it – but maybe I’m weird. Whatever.
4. All The Real Girls – Still riding the love-buzz you got from Love, Actually? Well say goodbye to it quickly, as you’re about to get sucker punched by this overlooked movie. What makes this film so great is that the ending is uplifting while at the same time staying somewhat realistic – definitely no cheesy Hollywood ending to be found here. It’s the medicine you had coming after the sugary-sweet fifth pick.
3. Chasing Amy – Your reward for facing the tough love of All The Real Girls is this Kevin Smith film that exhibits his absolute best work. Just like the girl or guy you might be dating, Kevin Smith’s movies are best when they’re being honest with you, and at their worst when they’re cheating on you with some guy on the track team – or just making obvious jokes. Still, this bittersweet 3rd pick will make you think twice before you try to date that lesbian you’ve been eyeing, or maybe just make you laugh a couple times.
2. Harold & Maude – Cameron Diaz’s character in There’s Something About Mary was 100 percent correct when she said that Harold & Maude was the most underappreciated and misunderstood love story of her generation. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what she said. If you haven’t seen it yet, then you have to – and if you have, then you already know what I’m talking about.
1 ˝. There’s Something About Mary – Speaking of There’s Something About Mary, it’s a perfect Valentine’s Day movie! I can’t believe I almost forgot to add this to the list, but it really has it all: laughs, thrills, Chris Elliot, and Brett Favre. While the past two picks have at times delved into somewhat dramatic territory, this second pick is a safe bet to somewhat relieve your complete misery with comedy. It’s the movie equivalent of what Patch Adams was to his patients, but not what Patch Adams was as a movie, which was completely horrible.
1. High Fidelity – If I were to reveal to you the number of times I’ve watched High Fidelity after a rough breakup, then you would either think I was insane or had an uncommon man-appreciation for John Cusack. While the second part is completely true, High Fidelity is still, in my eyes, the perfect therapy for the lovelorn. It’s the reason we forgive Cusak for Must Love Dogs and Serendipity (both movies to avoid on this day of days), and that’s saying a lot.
