Dear Generation,
It is commonly accepted that liberalism mostly thrives in large metropolitan areas and at institutions of higher education. Not coincidentally, it is also such locations that have either the proverbial or physical ivory towers (viz. Rockefeller Center).
The concept of the ivory tower is quite apt as most Americans could only envision some of the exotic beliefs of liberals to originate from such places. It is also coincidentally also mostly liberals who rely on help from the federal government to get to such high places.
During the 2004 election cycle, a lot of time was spent discussing the issue of moral and religious values and how they aided or impeded the candidates' chances of success. As most media outlets have a clear liberal bias, it is then no surprise that this was even up for discussion.
One try as one may, but liberals with moral values, basically Democrats with true Christian faith, seem to be very hard to find. Usually, they will be those who label themselves as “moderates” for political purposes and will get much grief from the left for having a personal opinion, as opposed to the much-loved single word slander type.
Liberals today seem to thrive on an undying faith in oxymorons. They believe that “gay marriage” is a valid concept and that one can support it with a good conscience, that one can support the troops but not their work, and that one can be through and through liberal and still be a Christian. Their entire belief system seems to rest on the idea that one can ignore parts of the truth one does not like or feel uncomfortable with. In their mind, free speech is only vital as long as no conservative claims that right, being religious is alright so long as the Bible passages on homosexuality and other immoral behavior are ignored and that only veterans who oppose violent conflict of any kind can provide valid commentary on the war on terrorism.
Our mass media outlets (sans Fox), or more appropriately, their media, avoid consulting conservatives as much as they can and will do their best to cast any true American in a negative light. Often times simply labeling a contributor to a medium a conservative will indicate to their followers that he will slightly disagree with their “experts” (liberal experts that lose the label of a liberal once the work of the medium is published) and should not be considered as a valid contributor to their world of dreams.
The largest of all liberal oxymorons is probably their instinct to side with our enemies, as Ann Coulter rightly pointed out in her book, Treason. Liberals think they are true patriotic Americans, yet they cringe at any display of our flag as vampires react to garlic, oppose any positive action taken against our enemies unless it is ordered by a felon from their own ranks, and will defend despots until weapons of mass destruction hit our shores.
Liberals are like the airhead idols they adore. They'll know their wines and cheeses and will claim to love their country as long as they keep making enormous amounts of money for doing nothing of value. For now, they are not much more than parasites, but like foreign enemies, these domestic enemies cannot be ignored forever. All “red staters,” as liberals like to call true Americans, should probably start raising funds for a fleet of cargo ships to ship this domestic breed of vermin to France, Cuba, North Korea, and the Middle East, for we cannot as of yet use the kinetic energy generated by our founding fathers rolling in their graves to fry us some lunch.
It is reassuring that Democrats keep losing elections, but as Douglas Adams once pointed out, us Americans should be vigilant as those idiots try their best to drag us down to their level, where they will then beat us with experience.
Sincerely,
Fabio Albertin
UB Student
Dear Fabio,
We also eat babies.
Looking forward to my trip to Cuba,
Christopher Ahearn
Editor in Chief
