KEEPING HIP-HOP REAL
Album Review: Ghostface Killah - Fishscale
9/10
by Daniele Hauptman
Fishscale is an excellent (read: supafly) drug-fueled gangsta hip-hop record. Wu-Tang Clan’s Ghostface Killah does anything but disappoint with his new tracks with beats by MF Doom and Pete Rock. Staying stylish, he combines old school retro technique with clever lyrics and fun samples, making diverse references about everything from Star Trek to A Tribe Called Quest.
The first lyrical track, “Shakey Dog,” begins with a roaring engine and gives the listeners some wise advice, spitting, “Fasten your seatbelts/ I’mma take y’all on some real shit.” Seatbelts may not be necessary when you’re boogieing to this at your next house party, but ideally this album should be played in a hooked up ride with a good hydraulic system. The finest songs on this album are the confrontational “Be Easy,” “9 Milli Bros” featuring Wu-Tang, “Kilo” with Raekwon, and “Back Like That.”
Ghostface throws together drug anthems with emotional and breakup songs. The track, “Back Like That,” featuring fellow Def Jam label member Ne-Yo, is a catchy breakup song about a hot shot dealer who is pissed off because his ex-boo has been strutting around his neighborhood with a new man. This song has great soulful vocals and wounded heartfelt lyrics like, “On the side I mighta had/ one or two/ but them silly broads wasn’t nothin’ on you.” It’s hard and angry, but at the same time jealous and confused—a real thug breakup ballad.
On a less emotional note, my favorite track, “Kilo,” is one that’s slow to leave your head. It’s the album’s most dedicated coke song, with catchy lyrics by Ghostface and Raekwon. Sounds of sniffing and razor-clinking can be heard in the background throughout the track. The song starts out with an obviously coked-up conversation between the two main lyricists. Ghostface tells Raekwon he’s paranoid and asks if Captain Kirk closed his window blinds. Then Ghost tells his errand-girl Sharifa to run down to the store saying, “I need two waters, a Dutch, and a cranberry Snapple.” The track is full of witty lyrics and nice vocals—a great listen for anyone, even if you’re not one of those Buffalo students with a so-called “hardcore drug problem.”
Another great track on Fishscale is “Be Easy.” It’s basically Ghost getting all up in someone’s grill, confronting his angry competitors by telling them to calm the fuck down and stop pretending they’re hardcore thugs. He raps, “You be frontin’ like you got a bunch of chicks/ You be at home, nigga, beatin’ your dick,” and then hits the nail on the head with, “Tell your crew to be easy/ Niggas run around with them fake frowns/ Sell ‘em on eBay.” Nobody likes a faker, Ghost. Thank you for keeping it real.
In the spirit of keeping it real, let me tell you, this album is awesome. If you like hip-hop, if you like songs about thugs and drugs, or even if you just like to pretend you’re a hardcore badass gangster sometimes, this album is a must-have for your collection.
AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE
Game Review: Tetris DS
8/10
by Ryan “Moss” Yaeger
Remember the good old days, when Game Boys were the size of a small paperback novel, ran on four AA batteries, and were black and white? Back then, the dominant puzzle game was arguably Tetris. The brainchild of Alexey Pajitnov gets a facelift in its latest incarnation on the Nintendo DS.
The game remains largely familiar, with the new version boasting a few tweaks. First, you can better tailor your block laying with the hold feature, which allows you to store the descending Tetrimino for later use. Also, with the Ghost Piece option turned on, the descending piece will be superimposed at the bottom of the screen, showing where it will fit. In conjunction with the Hard Drop option, which allows you to instantly drop a piece by tapping up on the directional pad, allows for much faster game play.
There are six different modes of single player action, each with a unique twist and theme. Standard mode is original Tetris, with the top screen playing through a Mario-style adventure, advancing along as you clear more lines. Push mode has you working to clear lines faster than your opponent on the bottom screen, forcing them further towards the pit of fire below with each clearing of two or more lines.
Mission mode is also played like traditional Tetris, with the game giving different objectives to complete on the top screen. This can be a certain number of lines to clear or specifying the Tetrimino to use to clear lines. This gets repetitive fast, but offers a new twist to the old game.
Two new variants provide even more puzzling to the game. Puzzle mode gives you 200 different starting forms with three different Tetriminos for you to place in the correct order and orientation to clear all the lines. Touch mode is similar, but uses the stylus and touch screen features of the DS to maneuver the blocks around to clear through its 200 puzzles, each with different goals from clearing a specified number of lines to clearing only a given type of Tetrimino.
Finally, Catch mode gives you a starting formation to maneuver around the screen to catch falling Tetriminos and arrange them into four-by-four blocks for points. This Metroid themed mode is certainly the biggest jump from original Tetris, and proves to be an interesting take on this classic game.
The biggest selling point of Tetris DS however is its multiplayer modes. As with many DS games, you can transmit the game to up to ten friends with DS’ to play a local competition with single-card download play in Standard, Push, or Puzzle multiplayer modes. In the Standard mode, you also are given the option to turn on items, each of which can help you or hinder your opponent in unique ways and can prove incredibly frustrating when on the receiving end.
You can also compete on a worldwide level over Nintendo’s ever-growing Wi-Fi Connection in either two-player (no items) or four-player (with items) Standard modes or go toe-to-toe with Push mode. Winning games improves your Wi-Fi ranking, and the stats are posted on Nintendo’s webpage, allowing you to compare yourself to others worldwide.
All in all, the new Tetris DS retains all the fun of original Tetris along with some new twists and turns to make it even more addictive and provides countless hours of entertainment.
IF YOU GOTTA DRINK...
DVD Review - Drinking With Steve
7/10
by Alex Nye
Did The 40-Year-Old Virgin hit a little too close to home? Is Failure to Launch your life story (minus the whole falling in love and shit)? Well, you, my friend, have a good reason to start drinking—heavily. And we have just the DVD for you.
Drinking With Steve, an underground phenomenon of 2006, was made for those of us going through a quarter-life crisis in need of a beer and a good friend—a friend who won’t talk back and insult you for still living in your parents’ basement or for receiving an allowance. No, Steve is your drinking buddy who will sit there with you in the dark and tip a few—or ten—back.
This concept of a pixilated drinking buddy came to fruition about ten years ago. Steve, who was never known as an ordinary guy, used to give out creative gifts to his friends. He always strove for something original and something pertaining to himself. For Christmas, a friend could conceivably receive an 8” x 11” framed photo of Steve’s face or a certificate of Steve’s time, which could be redeemed for 100 percent of his undivided attention for a set length—usually 15 minutes per person.
Then one day Steve saw the fireplace channel: the channel with a burning Yule log in the middle of the screen. This static channel, about as creative as a knock-knock joke, inspired Steve to create a revolutionary DVD: an hour-long video of him in slippers, sitting silently on a couch in a poorly lit room, drinking beers. The intention was to give the tape to his friends so they never had to drink alone again.
His friends loved it. As basic as the premise was, it worked. In fact, it went over so well that a friend, Brian Perry, webmaster of City Pages, decided to release the tape for public consumption. Perry gave the DVD a self-described “funky” intro, so you can select the amount of beers you would like to drink.
Supposedly they are already planning on a sequel. It would be something to the effects of Drinking Boxed Wine With Steve. If this new genre catches on, expect to see many copycats. I, myself, just might make Dinner With Alex, where you get to watch me eat 150 chicken wings or the world’s largest hamburger.
Remember: one of the signs of alcoholism is drinking alone. This video, for $14.95, will help convince you that you are normal.
LITERARY RHYMES FOR THE SPARKNOTES GENERATION
Album Review: MC Lars - The Graduate
8/10
by Justin Touretz
What Ben Folds’s Rocking the Suburbs did for 30-something suburban nostalgia, MC Lars’ (Andrew Nielsen’s) full-length debut The Graduate does for us 20-somethings. In the same fun-loving spirit of the Beastie Boys, MC Lars creates witty rhymes for our generation, which he has aptly dubbed the “iGeneration.” Lars’ release of The Graduate follows his own graduation from Stanford, and this ex-punk-rocker gone DJ certainly follows up on the promise 2004’s The Laptop EP.
The infectious sound of MC Lars is much attributed to his growing up on the same music the rest of us did: a healthy does of the early ‘90s punk explosion mixed in with Run DMC-inspired hip-hop. He is at his best when the RPM’s really start to build up, as his tell-it-like-it-is vocals, delivered in emo style, create shout-along choruses with infectious back beats. While much of Lars’ rhymes pay homage to our generation’s collective Nintendo/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle/Double Dare-saturated childhoods, he also rails against older big-business ideas and the sad state of a watered-down punk rock scene which he used to be a part of.
The Graduate contains two of The Laptop EP’s most successful songs in last year’s MTVU single “iGeneration” and the utterly hysterical “Signing Emo” which satires the latest screamo craze. “Signing Emo” not only mocks the record industry for pumping out faux-punkers but creates a fake band called Hearts That Hate (HTH). The irony is that within the song, Lars actually plays teasers of the single “Cry Tonight” that HTH “wrote” and it created such a buzz that rumors escalated that HTH (who don’t exist) were planning a tour with Lars himself. The reason: Lars, aware of the popularity of his intentionally horrible band, created heartsthathate.com and spawned one of the funniest spoofs on the net in recent memory. If you got a free minute, check out Blake (lead singer’s) journal entries for some hysterical self-loathing.
“Download this Song” with Jarret Reddick from Bowling for Soup acts as the disk’s mantra for the current socialist-inspired Internet world of downloading in which we live. The chorus poignantly declares, “Hey, Mr. Record Man, the joke’s on you/ Running your label like it was 1992/ Hey, Mr. Record Man, your system can’t compete/ It’s the new artist model, file transfer complete.” Don’t feel bad for the struggling major labels; it wasn’t too long ago that every CD cost $20.
In “Hot Topic is not Punk Rock,” Lars with help from The Matches, rips the chain store for exploiting a subculture in every suburban shopping mall. By listing off actual ridiculous items (i.e.: Led Zeppelin air fresheners, beaded Elvis curtains, Sex Pistols boxer shorts) which are actually available through the store, you can’t really call it a spoof, but it’s smarmy as hell.
Other notable songs on the album are “Roommate from Hell” with MC Chris and a self-deprecating parody of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” in “21 Concepts” which rattles off 21 failed song concepts, all with the soundtrack for Tetris in the background. MC Lars has a tendency to infuse hip-hop into literary classics as he did on The Laptop EP’s “Mr. Raven” where he retold Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” and continues to do so with “Ahab” on The Graduate, a retelling of Moby Dick in less than four minutes for the Sparknotes Generation.
With few failures like “Rap Girl,” a slower, dull rap, and a failed spoof in “Generic Crunk Rap” which sounds painfully like its title, Lars creates a solid album chock full of smartass lyrics.
The Graduate isn’t meant to be blaring out the windows of your Escalade this summer, but it will be a killer party soundtrack and might sound amazing pumping out of your 1994 Civic with the blown-out bass.
LIFE AFTER DEATH
Album Review - Islands - Return to the Sea
10/10
by Bobby Ellis
After the release of an EP and just one full length album, Montreal’s The Unicorns were, as they perfectly prophesized, ready to die. In the wake of their demise they left behind a trove of lo-fi demos, bootlegs, and an army of broken-hearted fanatics. Emblazoned in new, white, matching clothes for their live shows, Nick Diamonds and J’aime Tambeur have risen from the ashes as Islands—a band whose debut album, Return to the Sea, set to be released April 4 on Equator records, is more than worthy of the same amount of devotion and obsession that their previous work has received.
On Return to the Sea’s hulking mission-statement of a first track, the nearly ten-minute “Swans (Life After Death),” Diamonds tells a story of redemption found on the islands, where “it’s still warm, even after the sun has gone.” Over an improbably bouncing bass line and chopping piano strikes, he sings his swansong. Just when it seems the song may be over (death?), there is one last climactic surge in the form of a wrenching guitar solo. Finally, he interjects “I’m thankful for my life,” as the music slowly eases its way to an end, which is really just the beginning of Return to the Sea.
Fans of the group’s previous work will find much here to be happy about, but Islands is not simply just a pared-down (we miss you, Alden) retread of The Unicorns’ signature sound. The same vigor and spirit held within their old work is still very present, but gone is the kind of standard indie guitar/moog combo that previously defined them. Instead, Islands employs full orchestral instrumentation, placing violin plucks where there once were synth stabs and relies heavily on jammy brush-stroked drums, sun-faded jangling acoustic guitars, and vaudeville pianos.
The nearly flawless album has caught slight flack from detractors who complain about the randomness of the rap breakdown in “Where There’s a Will There’s a Whalebone,” and their reservations aren’t completely unwarranted. To make a case for the rap, however, I believe old fans will recognize rappers Busdriver and Subtitle from Th’Corn Gangg (The Unicorns hip-hop-inspired side project) and appreciate their presence. Plus, the droning synths and vocal woo-woos in the verses just scream west coast mid-‘90s gangster rap, thus making it completely appropriate.
Not all of the Return to Sea is quite as quirky, thankfully. The album’s most accessible and most Unicorns-esque track, “Rough Gem” is an obvious favorite and an example of modern pop perfection. “Don’t Call Me Bobby, Whitney” is the kind of hop-along toe-tapper that compels you to consider grabbing a maraca and joining in. Although most of the songs on the album are catchy and upbeat, Diamonds’ morbid humor and lyrical wit still shine through like a shit-eating grin, especially on “Don’t Call Me…,” where lines like “Sweetheart, sick body part. Sick heart, sweet body part” would sound almost romantic, if not for the implied cannibalism.
Filled with vivid stories of death, life, love, and adventures at sea and underground, Return to the Sea is the kind of album that would be most ideally appreciated inside a tiki hut next to a tropical cemetery.
DRESS UP
Fashion Preview - Spring Fashions
by Suzy Kim
The weather is changing and so should your wardrobe. Spring is already here and soon summer is going to bring the warm days back. There are a lot different styles in fashion this upcoming season, but many designers are concentrating on dresses that are suitable for both day play and some nighttime fun. Looking on, it is obvious that they drew a lot of inspiration from various eras in the past. There is one word to describe the new trends this season: reinvention.
One of the biggest crazes this year is dresses. Women usually only wear dresses for special occasions, but with the newly renovated styles this year expect to see them wear it everywhere. Rather than loose, slouchy styles, form-fitting dresses are taking the fashion industry by the storm. An all time favorite, the wrap dress, which was globally introduced by Diane Von Furstenberg in 1972, is coming back with a higher waistline which gives it a more modern look. Shirt dresses are also high in demand. The shirt dress is perfect for both day and night; slightly unbutton the dress and pair it with flats for a casual look or dress it up with high heels and a fancy belt.
A blast from the past, the ‘60s space age look is back. The A-line mini dresses are tailored to make you look sexy, yet innocent. They come in bright, bold colors or more subtle shades such as ivory or white. These Mods are even appropriate enough for class. Just match it up with some opaque footless leggings and flip flops. To rock them during the night, make sure you wear long sleeves on top to balance out the super short bottom.
Another popular era is the ‘50s. These dresses were known to be party dresses back then and they still sure are today. With the Student Association spring gala and other formal events coming up in school, you can stand out from the crowd with the help of these puffy dresses. Full knee length A-line dresses are easy to find almost anywhere. All you need is a petticoat to wear underneath to give the dress its fullness. For the cutest ‘50s-inspired dresses, check out Betsey Johnson’s collections.
Lastly, but not the least, the most classic of all is the little black dress. Not only does it make you look slimmer, but it is appropriate for almost any occasion. Opt for the ones with thick fabric for a modern look. Though many people think that black is a boring color, you can make it the hottest number ever with the right accessories; Ralph Lauren adds chunky gold jewelry and belts to his pieces. Another advantage of a black dress is that it is extremely available and affordable.
Keeping up with the changing fads can be very expensive. So for college students like us who are on low budget (as in $50 for a dress is a lot of money), try shopping at Forever 21, Rampage, Urban Outfitters, Wet Seal, or Delia’s. If not, hit the boutiques on Fifth Avenue.
¡OLÉ!
Bar Review - Toro Tapas Bar
8/10
by Erin McCarthy
On Monday, I went to Toro Tapas Bar, at 492 Elmwood Avenue for drinks. I am new to Buffalo, so a friend was showing me around a few of the nice establishments in the area. I have been to a few places in downtown Buffalo before, but it has always been at night, and they’ve never been places that have left lasting impressions on me. Many people ask me, “Have you ever been to Chippewa/Elmwood/Allentown/etc.?” and I probably have, but the specific venues were so lame that I didn’t bother to register their location. Toro is different though. It’s an excellent bar with a great atmosphere, and I’m determined to go back.
I must reiterate that I went on a Monday, so there was a very small crowd in the bar. I imagine considerably less people compared to what one might find on the weekends. The interior is expansive because it accommodates both a bar and a restaurant. The inside is very contemporary, hip, and sophisticated. The prices are high, but reasonable for the older crowd that Toro is hoping to attract. This place is definitely kryptonite for your average underage, immature drunk. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure people do get completely blasted here, but you’d feel so guilty throwing up on their pristine interior that you’d probably wait until you left the block.
There was a large variety of drinks to order, but I stuck with a safe white wine. The music wasn’t loud, so I could actually speak at a normal level. I hate those bars where the combination of shouting and the burn of alcohol on your throat make you sound like Joan Rivers the next day. There was only one bartender and he was absolutely fantastic too. He checked at just the right times to see if we wanted more to drink and would join in on the conversation from time to time. He had told us upon initial arrival that the bar would close at 12 a.m., but we left at around 12:30 and there were still people in there. He didn’t seem to have any problem keeping Toro open a little longer to accommodate people. I probably would have stayed there all night because I felt so at ease, but I had to wake up early the next morning.
Go to Toro and try it during the week. I have yet to go back on a weekend and I’m sure it’s a lot busier because it is a really neat place, but the service was excellent on a Monday. (Then again, most people don’t drink on a Monday. That’s usually a recovery day.) It is a bit more expensive than your average Main Street dive bar, but you’ll see why once you’ve walked in the door.
WHY DID THEY BOTHER?
Movie Review - The Hills Have Eyes
3/10
by Amanda Lerman
If your sole goal is to have a reason to get your date alone in a room for two hours and every other movie is sold out, then this film is for you. The Hills Have Eyes can be summed up in two words: disturbing and ridiculous. This remake of Wes Craven’s 1977 horror classic was attempted to be updated for the new generation. With the support of Craven, young director Alexandre Aja tries to add some spice to the old film with more gut-wrenching bloodshed, yet failed with a result of a typical horror cliché. Factors that make a great horror film such as nudity, realistic storylines for the audience to relate to, and attractive actors, are not applied in this film and therefore assist the film in being a complete failure. Without the suspense well-played throughout the movie and keeping little girls on the edge of their seat continuously, the movie would have lost its audience from the start.
In the time when Craven created the original, part of the terror involved was the fact that even the main character’s honesty and integrity wouldn’t help save her life. Now, a good 30 years of horror films later, the audience wants to watch polite people die; after all, that’s part of the fun. Yet, due to the fact that the so-called “bad guys” are victims themselves with genetically damaged body parts and small language skills, they aren’t as scary as they were supposed to be. More clichés add up, such as the typical American family getting warnings, then their car breaking down in the middle of nowhere, separating and walking off by themselves, etc., as well as the two young kids who have shown no intelligence but being immature teenaged kids, all of a sudden know exactly how to create traps with knowledge of physics.
In short, the plotline rolls with the Carter family taking a vacation together. This family consists of Dad (Ted Levine), a retired detective, Mom (Kathleen Quinlan), a lovable hippie, and a daughter and son-in-law (Vanessa Shaw and Aaron Standford) with their terrible communication skills and newborn baby. There are also two other Carter children (Dan Byrd and Emilie de Ravin) as well as two dogs cutely named Beauty and the Beast. This huge family heads out and take a deadly detour, through testing zones in which 331 atmospheric nuclear tests were performed in the 1950’s and 1960’s, where they become prey of demented mutants, descendents of miners poisoned by government nuclear testing who are fashionably accessorized with pickaxes. Stuck in the vacant western American desert, equipped with a few shotguns, two dogs, their trailer-home, and their baby, they fight for their lives.
The film did present a few lessons to be learned such as: being grateful for your family, never walk alone in a vacant desert, and don’t hold grudges because life is too short and some mutant may try to kill you with a pickaxe. Also, it’s probably not a good idea to walk back to the gas station for help from the creep who sent you into trouble from the start.
From the stabbings, shootings, crucifixion, rapes, family drama, ugly mutants, suspenseful scenes, and insane plotline, this film has its audience either angry or laughing at its stupidity. Perhaps you should save your money and take your date somewhere worthwhile.
