“I’m Right. You’re Wrong.” is an advice column especially designed to help University at Buffalo students. So if you have no one else to turn to (and I mean absolutely no one) drop off your question in our personals mailbox or email us at askgeneration@gmail.com. If you’re lucky, your question just might show up in the next issue.

Q: For the past three months, my boyfriend hasn’t had sex with me. We’ve been together since high school, and we’re very open with each other, but he just says he’s just not into it right now. What should I do?

AM: A relationship is about two people, not one; so, why should it be fair for him to just cut you off? It sounds like there is more to the situation. You need to explain to him that he’s not being fair and you’d like to know what exactly is going on. Maybe after the years since high school, things have gotten monotonous. You could try doing different things together during the day—it could reignite you two later on in the evening. Or maybe you‘ve reached the end of your journey together and it’s time to move on. The only way you’ll know is by trying to get him to talk to you.

C: I was sitting in my apartment the other day, bored out of my mind, and I decided to take a trip over to the video store. So, there I was, perusing the new releases aisle, when something caught my eye: Brokeback Mountain. I’d been hearing great things about the movie for months, so, I decided to check it out. It turned out to be pretty good. It was about these two manly cowboy guys who end up working together on this big, lonely mountaintop out in Wyoming. Long story short, things get hot and heavy up there, and the two dudes become entangled in a lifelong, on-the-down-low relationship that they hide from their wives, children, and friends. I mean, the one dude Ennis even runs into marital trouble because his wife figures out that his “friend” is more than just a “fishing buddy.” You should totally go see this movie, it’s really sad. Oh—I’m sorry—what was your question again?

Q: Whenever I play video games with my roommate and he wins, he says, “Powned.” What could this mean?

AM: Within the Internet gaming community, “pwned” means “dominated by one’s opponent.” It originated as a common typo for “owned” amongst gamers and is a part of some teenagers’ and adolescents’ everyday vocabularies now. Other variations in the spelling are pwnd, pwnt, and pwn3d, but the accepted pronunciation is that which rhymes with “owned.”

C: OOOMMMMGGGGGG ur r00mi3 is t0t4lly 1337!!1!! wu7 r u? 50m3 kind 0f n00b?? h3 pwn3d u!!!11!!

Q: My mom told me that doctors say eating chocolate is healthy. What do you say?

AM: Well, first, I don’t think a doctor would say eating chocolate in general in healthy. It has been proven that dark chocolate (and dark chocolate only) contains compounds that can lower high blood pressure. So, I would say that eating a little bit of dark chocolate every day will help control high blood pressure.

C: Yeah, well my doctor says that smoking cigarettes is healthy. And cool. That’s what I say.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and I’ve never had an orgasm with him. Everything was fine with my ex, so I know it’s not me. I’ve been faking, but I don’t think I can handle it any longer. What should I do?

AM: Right away, you must stop faking—that’s what got you into this mess in the first place. Since you’ve been faking for so long, he must think that he’s doing it correctly. If you’ve been with him for three years, you should feel comfortable enough to talk to him. The only way you will get out of this situation is by talking. He may feel hurt and betrayed that you’ve been lying all this time, but if he really loves you, he will work with you to make sure you two work in bed.

C: Well, I hear they’re doing amazing things in the vibrator industry these days. So, that’s a start. But the fact that you haven’t gotten off in three years leads me to believe that there may be more to this problem than just a clumsy lover. Feel free to stop by 315 Student Union and have me check you out. Unless you’re ugly—in which case, stick with the prosthetic weiner.