Five Ways to Boost Your Karma and Reaffirm Your Humanity—Yes! I’m For Real!

Audrey Odhner

1. Help a small furry, feathered, or otherwise nonhuman creature. How a person treats the most vulnerable and helpless of life forms seems to say a lot about them—namely how they feel about themselves (and will therefore likely treat other people).

2. Pick up a piece or two of garbage. We can’t all do it all (or even most) of the time, but once in a while it’s convenient enough. We can’t eradicate the world of litter—but we can practice giving a damn about shared space simply because we share it.

3. Give someone a giant tip—even if they haven’t blown you away with their customer service skills or don’t look really sexy in that button-down shirt. Waiting on an endless stream of generally demanding and stingy patrons wouldn’t make anyone one hundred percent chipper; especially not for 2.87 an hour (or even minimum wage for steaming your lattes). The fact of it is we all have bad days, we have all had shitty jobs, and you never know what someone’s story really is. Maybe they’re “lazy” because they just found out their husband is leaving them; maybe they have cancer—you don’t know.

However, at the bottom line it doesn’t matter; this everyday practice provides you with an opportunity to be generous. Exercising generosity—especially when it goes against your initial inclinations of what’s deserved or due—is a benefit to you. Your wellbeing, and your overall “karmic spirit” will boost, even if the object of your generosity is incapable of feeling the appropriate gratitude.

4. That said, taking a moment on occasion to feel grateful could also help bring great karmic benefits into your life. It’s not that most of us are actually ungrateful, but it’s so easy to let our thankfulness for different people, acts, and things quickly pass away into another fleeting thought. The next time you are struck by a kindness or lucky-break let yourself take a break and feel it for a moment. Such a thing put into practice can make one realize how often they really experience things to be thankful for, and lead to a great sense of appreciation (in my experience a key to enjoying life).

5. Respect your life. The best way to show the universe that you’re ready to cash in on it’s karma stash is to show it that you appreciate the life that you have and are responsible for. This is no easy feat, and some have more to work through than others, but

when you really respect your own life, it radiates outward into everything that you do—and the “karma gods” will smile upon you continuously. Namaste.

Top 5 Things to do before I graduate

Justin Touretz

As my graduation date continues to creep up on me, forcing me realize that my days as an undergrad are coming to an end, it is time for me to truly sit back and think of my four years spent at The University at Buffalo. Have I accomplished everything I’ve set out to do? Well, here are my top five things I advise all seniors like myself to do before they bid UB adieu.

1. Have Sex in Public Space

It could happen anywhere: the lounge in your dorm, a lecture hall you have class in, Baird Point while you smoke a bowl, a row of seats on the UB Stampede, the squat-rack at Alumni, the counter at Hubies, even the exact seat you are in right now. You will never know and now you must live in fear of sitting where I banged the prior night.

2. Bring a Flask to Class

I’ve been talking about doing this for years only to pussy out every time. But with the undergrad clock ticking down it’s time to man up. Afternoon classes are too easy, so morning class at 9 a.m. it is! For me, the twenty or so souls who drag their bodies to DMS 304 on Monday and Wednesday please don’t nark on me when I spice up my coffee (hopefully on a day where the Center for the Arts serves the Cinnamon-Hazelnut hybrid of deliciousness) with a little bit of Bailey’s. It’ll make learning about Public Access the best time anyone of us has ever had.

3. Go Streaking

I know it sounds lame that I have yet to do it in Buffalo, but it’ true, at least I can admit it in a widely circulated publication. So, one of these warm nights as April turns into May maybe I’ll go sprinting through the Spine sans-clothes and if you’re following my advice maybe you (fellow seniors, aw hell, you’re all invited) can join me together for a night of naked merriment.

4. Swim in Lake LaSalle

Ok, I’m breaking my own formula here. I’ve already done this, but I advise you all to do so. Not only is it the grossest, smelliest thing you can do but it’s the most obvious. That being said, many of my fellow classmates have yet to take the plunge into the murky waters of the rarely unfrozen body of water which graces our campus. Do it…you won’t.

5. Get a Top 5 List Published in this Damn Magazine

If I can’t guilt my editors into putting me in this issue (since it is my last one!) then I have failed as an English major. If I can’t bullshit them into putting this rant into the magazine as my last attempt to grace the fine glossy pages of Generation then I have failed since I have never gotten one of these in, ever! But with that being said, maybe my mom will get the joy of reading this as I show her that I got it posted online, than maybe she will be proud of me, maybe…