Lisa felt herself developing a great deal of affection for Arthur and it made her uncomfortable. She was a strong, young woman of 20 who, up until this point, had lived her life on the premise that succumbing to vulnerability was a waste of time and utterly unproductive.
She couldn’t deal with the members of her own sex well and hated that many girls thought they had to act clinically retarded to attract men. During her freshman year at college, Lisa’s roommate asked for her advice about getting a boy. She said, “Lisa…I mean, I don’t know how much I like him. Don’t get me wrong. I like him but I don’t like like him. You know? I kind of want him to like me though. What should I do if he calls?” to which Lisa replied, “Kindly, piss off.”
Lisa had known Arthur for five months and consciously covered up her feelings for him whenever they were together. However, with each day, it grew harder to do so. Lately, she had tried avoiding all eye contact with him, but that just ended in her missing his eyes. She knew something serious had to be done, and fast. Picking up the phone, she pressed and held the number two, speed dialing her best friend. After two long rings, a familiar voice answered theatrically, “Well, well! If it isn’t the Maid of Massachusetts.”
“Hello Kat. How are you?”
“Oh Jesus. Dispense with the chit chat. With Lisa Jarrett there’s always an agenda.”
“True.” When they laughed, both of them wished that they could be in the same room, if only for that moment. “You’re probably not going to believe this, but I swear it’s true.” There was only silence on the other end of the phone. “I’m falling for someone.” Her words poured out of her mouth like syrup.
Almost immediately Kat jumped in and screamed, “What? Good! I mean even Annie Oakley fell in love. But really—“
“I never said anything about love,” Lisa blurted without thinking. Reluctantly, but in the strongest tone she could muster, she half mumbled, “It’s all so ridiculous anyway.”
“Love is ridiculous? I suppose I can’t argue with you.” Kat paused. “Lisa, you have to—”
“What’s that, Mom?” interrupted Lisa in a brand new tone. “Are they really coming for Thanksgiving?”
“What in the hell are you talking—”
“Well that sounds lovely, but I’m going to have to cut this short. My friend just walked in, Mom, so I can’t talk now.”
Realizing what was happening, Kat burst into laughter at the other end of the phone, making it hard for Lisa to keep a straight face in front of her unexpected guest. There was a sudden click and the line was disconnected. Lisa now sat facing the window, looking at Arthur’s reflection in front of her. She took a deep breath and tried to spin around casually, but instead banged her ankle against the side of the chair. “Sorry about that. Family duty,” she announced.
He smiled and said, “Here’s your English book back.” He placed it on the arm of the sofa. “Let’s go grab some dinner, if you haven’t already.” She hadn’t, so she nodded and followed him down the stairwell toward the front door of the building. It was the same stairwell in which she had met him five months before.
Arthur, adorable in a very nerdy way, had been coming up the stairs, oblivious to the fact that Lisa was watching him with curiosity from the next flight up. When she involuntarily let out an echoing sneeze, which she in no way tried to hold back, Arthur was startled, looked up, and fell awkwardly down the stairs. Lisa immediately moved to help him, but didn’t rush. He was upright by the time she got to him. Arthur’s smile forced the appearance of his dimples as he shyly looked at her and said, “Gesundheit.”
Lisa was remembering this as Arthur was talking to her. She was paying no attention to him and yet her mind couldn’t stop thinking about him. In the face of this conundrum, she decided it was time to come clean.
“Look, Arthur. I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time,” she presented very matter-of-factly. “I don’t want this to make us awkward, but I thought you should know.” Without giving time for a response or a reaction, she quickly said, “I’m not going to dinner tonight. I’ll see you…soon,” she finished, with the last word being her only hesitation. She turned to ascend the stairwell and Arthur didn’t stop her.
The evening hours were drawn out as Lisa waited for him to respond to what she’d said. To occupy herself, she picked up the English book he’d dropped off and started to skim for nothing in particular. As she was flipping the pages, agenda-less for the first time in years, a small piece of paper fell out and onto the floor. Lisa picked it up casually and unfolded it. In black easy-to-read cursive, it said,
I have feelings for you Lisa, but was too nervous to tell you in person. It’s o.k. if you don’t feel the same way, but I just had to say something. -Art.
That night on the way to Arthur’s place, two of Lisa’s friends stopped her to ask if she was feeling well. She smiled and continued past them. They watched in confused amazement as she skipped all the way down the hall clumsily, in her own Annie-Oakley way.
