Anyone who passed through the Student Union on Friday, October 27 would not have been able to miss the first annual Generation Day. However, it was more like Generation Gay. This event, hosted by the magazine you are currently reading, consisted of blut-rolling competitions, a kissing booth, a bake sale, bobbing for apples, G-flag-making, page-designing contest, soda pong, and photo ops with Master Shake (ginger kid Ryan Moss) of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Considering the HPV warning on the kissing booth, followed by “Come get some!” it came as no surprise that the line for the booth was practically non-existent. Thanks, Generation, for trying to make us pay for STDs. We like ours free, thank you very much. Maybe if the staff were more attractive, we would consider risking a case of the herps.

Throughout the day, Generation pissed off the student body by continually playing “Dueling Banjoes” and other crappy music. Students that had the courage to come up and complain were shunned by the staff, and essentially told to fuck off. The blut-rolling was the most popular activity, which comes as no surprise. Come on, have you seen the staff photos online? They all look like a bunch of dirty liberals.

We wouldn’t want to stick our faces in the same apple-bobbing water as those wacky-haired freaks. Did anyone see the Editor in Chief, Peter Scheck, do a keg-stand into the apple-bobbing bucket? They obviously inhaled a little too much spray paint.

Some people might think soda pong is a fun idea. These people must be few and far between. At one point, the table was so empty, a staff member could be seen playing with himself (pong, and otherwise). Generation should consider getting a liquor permit for their next annual ego-fest.

The bake sale was totally eclipsed by some other random tables, conveniently positioned directly in front of the cookies and corn bread. Not even the presence of the homecoming king, Jack Niejadlik could lure in the passersby. At one point, some Dutch girl showed up and started dancing like an asshole with Master Shake and other staff members. What the hell, Generation? Then, as if this event couldn’t get any weirder, Buffalo rapper A2J showed up to roll a blut. Also, a Peter Scheck impersonator was caught making announcements under a false name. Generation aroused mass anxiety amongst the frightened students with its homeless-style cardboard sign announcing “If you don’t roll blunts, the terrorists win.” Everyone who read the sign, held up by a dancing guy in an N*Sync muscle shirt, rushed to the blut-rolling table to show their patriotism.

If we had to make a G-flag that would sum up Generation Day, it would read,

“G is for Crap.”

Thanks to everyone who turned out for Generation’s “Roll a Blut” contest! We received a sweet-smelling mountain of entries.

And the winners are:

First Place: Reham Asaad

Second Place: Jacob Berger

(pictured top left with his entry)

Third Place: Kevin Chang

Honorable mentions: Chris Palovich, A2J, Alexander Zito, Dan Peng, Randall Taylor, John Trimper, and our very own Guy M. Scrivo

Keep on rolling until next year!