As the first semester of the year quickly approaches its end, life for University at Buffalo students is beginning to get a bit more hectic. Midterms have just been completed, and now there are a whole new batch of exams, term papers, and portfolios for students to tackle. On top of that stress, many also have jobs, significant others, and friends to make time for. This is the chaotic lifestyle of a student, and it is hard enough as it is. Can you imagine trying to raise a child and support a family at the same time?
While the biggest responsibility for many college students is working, doing homework, and cleaning up around the house, there are a good number of scholars who also have to change diapers, prepare formula, and soothe screaming babies on top of their scholastic duties. Students with children have concerns about cleaning, feeding, and clothing their children, along with the tasks of finding a reliable day care system and earning enough money so they can provide for their families and still pay their tuition bills. Luckily for those at UB, there are various groups who are willing to lend a helping hand to these hardworking students who are simultaneously caring for their children.
David VanRy, a senior Spanish major, has been able to successfully make it through college while raising two children at the same time. VanRy entered UB at the age of 21, and the next year he married his wife, Sara. Two years after that, VanRy’s first child, William, was born. This year, VanRy had his second child, Reagan, who is only one and a half months old.
Although he admits it is difficult, VanRy says that his children serve as his inspiration to continue his education. He also says that his wife wants to become a stay-at-home mom to better care for their children. He wants to finish school so that he can get a good job and make that happen.
In addition to attending class full time at UB and raising two children, VanRy is also a night manager at Wegman’s, where he works an average of 40-45 hours a week. He admits that at times this grueling schedule can become very difficult. “When I am home, I would rather play with my son than do my homework,” he said, “so I find myself doing my homework at all hours of the night just so I can spend time with my children and my wife.”
Due to VanRy’s dedication and hard work, he has completed most of his schooling and has been able to maintain good grades. He admits that raising a family has had an effect on his grades, but he seems to have found a good balance between all of his responsibilities and has earned all A’s so far this semester.
While VanRy said that the most difficult thing about being a parent and student simultaneously is time management, he feels that his struggles are all worth it. He advises other students who are struggling to raise a family and be successful in school at the same time to stay with it. “It seems like you don’t have enough time, but all of that will come to an end eventually. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it has been well worth it,” he said.
There are many students at UB who, like VanRy, struggle with dedicating themselves to both their studies and raising their families at the same time. Luckily enough, there are numerous organizations at UB that are dedicated to making sure the student parents don’t make their journey alone.
The University at Buffalo Child Care Center, Inc. is one facility that serves to help those students who are trying to raise children in addition to being successful college students. The Child Care Center originally opened on South Campus in January 1985 and a second location was opened on North Campus in 1998.
Since then, the Child Care Center has served numerous families, helping students to attend their classes while leaving their children in good hands. The main purpose of the Child Care Center, according to Director Patricia Logan, is to “provide quality, affordable care and education to the families and children of the students, faculty, and staff of the State University of New York at Buffalo, as well as other state employees.”
Right now, the UB Child Care Center serves over 50 student families. In addition to providing a convenient location for students who attend classes on campus to put their children in day care, the Center also offers student parents a discount on tuition and is involved in the SUNY Block Grant program, which helps to subsidize child care for families who are in need of financial aid.
Although the faculty and staff at the Child Care Center are eager to help students achieve their goals, Logan says that raising a child is still a big responsibility. “It’s not easy to go to school and raise a family,” she advises. “Make sure that you have financial and emotional support [before having children].”
The Students with Children Support Program is another program that lends support to students who have children. The program was originally developed by the counselors of the Educational Opportunity Program (EOP), which provides assistance to promising college applicants who would otherwise not be eligible for acceptance to college. They felt that students with kids needed somewhere to turn to where they could find answers to their concerns and support during the hard times. It has now branched out to faculty and staff, and provides information about seeking child care services, where to vent or exchange information with other parents, and about balancing schedules so these students can improve on both their studies and parenting.
Currently, the Students with Children Support Program involves around 35 students who meet every second Monday and Tuesday of each month to lend support to one another. There are also student retreats, where students who are raising children can take a break from the stress of their everyday lives and get information from various speakers about a number of topics, including relaxation methods and time management skills.
Dana Sapp-Lewis, a fifth-year Senior majoring in sociology and interdisciplinary social science at UB, is a student representative of the Students with Children Support Program. Being a student and parent herself, Sapp-Lewis understands the hardship that such students face. She has six children, her oldest being 21 years old, whom she had when she was 24. At the time, Sapp-Lewis struggled as a single parent, but realized the importance of an education and enrolled in Erie Community College. “I knew I needed to make a better life for my child,” she said.
Having shared a similar experience with many of the students who have children, Sapp-Lewis is able to reach out to the students involved in the program, lending them strength and support. “Being a parent and a student is a very difficult task,” she said, “simply because you must juggle both lifestyles, which can very stressful. Without any type of support system in place for you or your children, it can become even more of a taxing burden.”
Sapp-Lewis is a strong advocate of the Students with Children Support Program. “I wanted to be a part of this organization because I saw the need for all students to have [a sense of] community as well as a [connection] to the campus,” she said. She also touted the program’s student to student interaction. It can “help students with stress, because we are there to listen and to give alternate ways to handle life situations,” she said. The counselors and students are there to help with any problem from tame to extreme that struggling students may have, and as Sapp-Lewis said, “I can honestly say that with the exception of changing baby-poop and throw-up, nothing really shocks me anymore.”
According to Marce Rondon, who is the Coordinator of the program, the Students with Children Support Program has been “a great success,” and that UB parents are lucky because “not too many institutions have this kind of support.” She advises that students with children should not get distressed, because in her opinion, they can be successful in both their studies and in parenting. Rondon said that students with kids don’t need to feel like they are neglecting their children simply because they attend classes, and points to several students involved in the program who found a good balance between the two and have graduated. She said, “It was tough, but they have done it,” and emphasizes any struggling student parent can do it too.
There are even scholarships available to students who are responsible for raising children. One such scholarship is the Child Care Scholarship, awarded by the UB Graduate Student Association (GSA). According to the GSA handbook, this scholarship is given to graduate students with children who are in financial need. This scholarship is offered once a semester, and students can only receive one scholarship per academic year. Although the scholarship may not cover the full cost of enrollment for a semester, the GSA feels that every little bit helps.
All of these programs and scholarships lend both emotional and financial support to students who are struggling to raise their families and to get a college education at the same time. While the task of raising a family while maintaining a role as a student is a difficult one, VanRy insists that when you’re ready, having children is definitely worth the hard work. In his words, “It’s tough sometimes—and not to be too corny—but there are moments that make it all worth it. For me, that is every night when I tuck my son into bed.”
