Whats with all the little kids at UB? Are they taking classes here or something? They are like 9!

To the really cute guy in the cubicle next to me at Capen Monday night (Dec. 4), w/ drk hair, black T-shirt, and beanie...I want to make babies with you. Well not really...but call me. (517-****) Signed, the girl who said “Bless You” when you sneezed :)

Dear self-involved Long Island girl in ***’s Eng102 class, We all fucking hate you! Yes, the entire class. You dont know shit and nobody cares that you’re learning another language. GET A NOSE JOB YOU WHORE. To the girl in the same class with the oily-est skin I’ve ever seen-stop wearing those stupid fucking boots everyday with your ugly leather jacket. You suck hard. Signed, 420 PS:”You aren’t that EPIC!” EAT A DICK!

L: I read the personals online sometimes when I get bored at work.

P: I masturbate sometimes when I get bored at work.

Dear Girl-Pants Boy, Stop robbing girls who are skinnier than you. Rob someone your own size. Thanks.

I <3 internet porn.

You can find Petey in da club, penis in da beer.

Kill the damned cat in my apartment. Well, maybe not kill it, because it’s sort of cute, but just slip it some tranquilizers or something. I dunno. Just take care of it, ok?

Dear UB commuters - stop driving so fucking fast in the parking lots. It’s not a race. It’s ok if you’re a few minutes late to class...it’s better than killing me.

That’s debatable.

Why didn’t we build a parking garage with the money we used to build the stadium? We’d get more use out of it.

Drag the lake.

To tha bitch in my COM*** class: WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM. Shut your damn mouth and don’t talk to the professor. He’s mine and he said you’re an fugly bitch, you whore.

I like it when the snow covers the lines in the parking lot. That means I can park wherever I want.

To the hole outside the student union: I want to fill you.

1.26.07

take a snap of my ass

i hope you don’t shit for a week!

To the girl at the SU info booth. Your boots are ugly.

I hate to go to class. It is a pain in the ass. I’m going to leave and I’ll never grieve and I’ll then meet a pretty lass.

We’ve figured out how to travel through time at the speed of regular time using plastic bags.

Dear a girl in some class:

It would appear the entirety of the class holds a negative opinion towards your contributions in discussions. I would kindly ask you to keep your thoughts to yourself. I find your boots to be excessively large for this time of year. Furthermore, we are all concerned for your health. Please undertake a diet or exercise regimen, for your own benefit. Additionally, some of your classmates have speculated you might be engaged in an amorous relationship with the professor, which is strictly contrary to university policy. We gently suggest you reevaluate your life choices.

Sincerely,

Asshole Cock Motherfuckers

We’ve toppled the ass dictator! Down with the old regime! Long live the new order

Nice web, Mr. Crack Spider!

In Soviet Russia, magazine write you!!

Doing heroin kind of turns me on.

Where the FUCK is the volume on this thing! Fucking BALLS.

My blood is angry

Dear Generation, could you build a bong that got you so high that you forgot you built it?

Maybe you already have.

OMG teh hub is down were will i get a bootleg of Stomp the Yard

I really would love to use the hot tub at Sweethome but I’m afraid I’ll get some obscure venereal disease.

Don’t vomit on other peoples’ carpets when they are out. Stinking, red puke-stains take forever to get out.

If I see one more fat chick running around pantless because “its so like-trendy,” shits going down.

To all the stupid bitches with balls on their boots; if I wanted to see chicks with balls, I’d check the internet. Save your money and self respect. - Ignignot

PS: I’m doing it as hard as I can.