Y’know, it’s terrible being persecuted for your beliefs.
Take, for example, my making of the PBB (see recipe below) at my home last week. Now, living with a bunch of those anti-meat vegetarians (read: tree-hugging hippies) means the fact that I eat meat and insist on cooking it in our kitchen with the same pots and pans on which they warm soy and tofu causes them immense anguish, and me to get constantly harassed. Imagine that, being harangued just for being an omnivore! I don’t think that’s happened since the Cretaceous Period.
Anyway, I told them what I’m telling you: don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it. So cut out these recipes, stock up on the necessary groceries, and start your ovens. Trust me, your palete will thank you, even if your digestive tract won’t.
The PBB
INGREDIENTS:
1 jar of peanut butter
(I recommend crunchy)
2 slices of bread
5-8 strips of bacon
(precooked or fresh)
Prep Time: ~8 mins.
(add 10 mins. for real bacon)
PREPARATION:
First, fry up your bacon on your stovetop in a frying pan or warm in microwave. I recommend cooking it crispy, although chewy will work. Next, spread your peanut butter on one slice of your bread. Stack and arrange your bacon onto the slice of bread evenly. Top with remaining slice of bread and savor.
OPTIONAL BONUS PREP STEP!
If you like your peanut butter more melty, simply toss the prepared sandwich, peanut butter slice on top, into a toaster oven for two to three minutes.
Land, Sea, and Air-wich
INGREDIENTS:
Land: 10-15 slices of
pepperoni
Sea: 2 frozen fish filets
Air: 1-2 slices of deli
turkey (hey, they fly!)
1 slice of American cheese
2 slices of bread
Some hot sauce
Prep Time: ~20-25 mins.
PREPARATION:
Begin by cooking the fish, according to the directions on the accompanying box. While the fish is cooking, layer the pepperoni and hot sauce on one slice of bread. Remove the fish from the oven, and place on top. Add additional hot sauce, if desired, and top still-hot fish with cheese. Top with slice(s) of turkey, other slice of bread, and serve with chips.
The Triforce Pizza
INGREDIENTS:
Crust: 1 package of pizza crust mix
1 tablespoon of cinnamon
1/2 shot of Rum (optional)
Butter
Toppings: Mozzarella cheese
1 can of pizza sauce
10-15 slices of pepperoni
3-4 strips of precooked bacon
1 precooked boneless, skinless chicken breast
Prep Time: 25-35 minutes
PREPARATION:
In a mixing bowl, prepare crust mix as packaging directs, adding cinnamon and rum. Set aside and let rise for 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, chop up the precooked chicken into bite-sized portions. Butter your pizza pan, and spead dough evenly, with a slight bit extra at edges for your crust. Next, lightly spead sauce using a spoon, then sprinkle on your desired amount of cheese. Top pizza with bacon, broken into smaller pieces, then pepperoni, and lastly chicken. Place in oven preheated to 400 degrees. Cook for at least 10-12 minutes, until crust turns golden-brown. Let cool and enjoy.
