It’s is her left ear, now you owe me a dollar. And I’m not emo, my wrists are scar free! -Commuter Lounge “Emo Idiot”

To the putz with the Toyota Tercel, Stop circle jerking with yourself and go smoke a blut you stupid bitch. Signed: The other putz.

To the Curly-Q Fatso in the SU, You are fat...too fat. Way too fat. Stop eating, and save yourself. Signed: All of UB.

To the bitch with pancake nipples, shave your armpits you fat bitch. Love, UB Staff

FUCK all the frat fucks who sit in the SU

***, why do you love the money shot so much?

To all the Long Island bitches, Go back home and spread STD’s and bitchiness everywhere else. Your pussy’s stink like fuck, and you look like skanks from a gang-bang.

Dentist chairs can fucking well blow me.

To our once good friend, You played the game and lost. She won. Now we wonder where your balls have gone. It makes us sad. Come drink with us sometime. You will feel better.

To the really hot RA in RJ, you ROCK my world ;) Love, Your personal sex kitten

Emergency Lighting was placing this weekend at the campus and they rocked!

MEMO: Ugly kid with the dirty hat in Stats***- Your hat is 2 small for your big head and blue calculators are homosexual!

Looking for foxy lady that will answer to “Slobber Jaws’

If you are reading this, grab your crotch and know that the Generation gives you pleasure.

And if you’re reading this, punch yourself and know what Generation will do if we ever catch you reading another magazine. Why do you make me hit you, baby?

I will not be swayed by your all female sex orgy. WE MUST KUNG FU FIGHT!!

Dear ***, I often sit next to you in ***, on *** nights. When professor *** read that quote from the book we’re reading, ***, on ***’s class, it summed up my feelings for you completely. Meet me in my dorm, ***, at *** on ***. Love, ***

To the guy in MGA*** who thinks he’s a male model, YOU ARE A TOOL. Stop walking around like you’re the shit, and stop wearing sunglasses during class. I know it’s bright and all, moron. For the record, you aint cool, ya fuckin’ chilly. P.S. Everyone in the class thinks you’re a bag of douche.

To a certain female brunette in the lounge, I want to lick you from head to toe. --Your red-haired woman

To the 35 year old in ***, Stop shining your bald head. The glare is blinding me and I can’t balance the debits and credits correctly. -HADS

To the playground by O’Brian, What do you have against smokers?

To the hott copy dude in Lockwood, You’re so cute! Yay!

Why does UB need a Cryogenics Lab? I can freeze Walt Disney’s head by hanging it out the window. Elian!

To the UB Wrestler who is hated by all females, STOP running your mouth. One day you may find a girl who is a better wrestler than you. That is a threat. Bye.

This winter weather really brings out the hate. Does anyone have a positive message?

To the bitch with the wide ass,

Stop farting on our fucking benches you stupid cunt. Signed, The boothes and seats in the SU.

And there you have it.

To Big Sexy, stop spitting in my face. I’ll start holding out on you.

IS PATH WARM?

To Ignorant Girl, Stop opening your god forsaken mouth. Nothing you say makes sense. We cringe at everything you say. Repeating your “points” five times in one ridiculous rant doesn’t help, it only hurts. Love, The Class

Is a dick in a box a good Valentine’s gift? I’m really packing.

Dear UB...Wait, where’d everybody go?

Make Love, Not Processed Food

I think you should get you life together and make a go of it.

I humbly request the lighting of a blut!!1

Beerpong by candlelight was so romantic. There should be power outtages more often.

There’s nothing like looking deep into your partner’s eyes before sinking the last cup.

In Soviet Russia, birth controls you!