A DARKER TONE
Neon Bible - Arcade Fire
8/10
by Peter Scheck
I don’t remember ever seeing the Arcade Fire live, but I saw the next best thing. Hopping on the band’s haunting old-style televangelism-themed website, neonbible.com, I saw the sixth in a numbered list of features was a link titled “guns.” Next to links like “Swimmers” and “Phone archives,” guns seemed as normal a link as any.
Following the link, the screen (already black) brightens to a dark video of the band on the main floor of a concert hall—they have been known to play intermissions in the middle of their audience, their acoustic instrumentation allowing them to take their shows as far as the street outside of the club. The video starts with applause while the screen stays dark, lit only by the staccato lightning flash of cameras. The strings maintain an octave pitch before the drums come in like a thunderous heartbeat—bum-bum pause, pause, pause, bum-bum. The lights are up and the band, however many of them there are, are playing The Clash’s “Guns of Brixton” in the middle of a crowd of people, their only amplification coming from the singer’s megaphone. “When they kick at your front door/ How you gonna come/ With your hands on your head/ Or on the trigger of your gun?”
It’s that same exuberance that got the band on the cover of Time Canada, that made them Canada’s favorite (read: favourite) rock band, and got them their celebrity support. But inside of their records, which fly a line between playful and startling, the band has found its niche firmly in pop music. Albeit, most pop groups aren’t recording their albums in churches, using accordions and organs amongst an orchestra of sounds, or making promotional websites that are about as conventional as the band’s new album, Neon Bible, is soothing.
These aren’t love songs, and they’re not telling a linear story. They’re frustrated and scrambled, poetic and folky. While the songs from Neon Bible are definitively Arcade Fire, they signal a fierce departure from the band’s cheery power-pop debuts. These songs are just as rewarding, if not as easily acceptable, as the band’s previous work.
It’s not another Funeral. While still epic and maybe even more instrumentally sound, Neon Bible doesn’t appear to lend itself to the type of live performance the band has been known for. Will an auditorium full of people still stand together and scream the lyrics to “Black Mirror,” the band’s first single, with its grumbling acoustic guitars and bowed bassline? “The black mirror knows no reflection/ It knows not pride nor vanity/ It cares not about your dreams/ It cares not for your pyramid schemes.” The sound of the album is completely different from its predecessor; it’s dark and bitter, unlike fan favorites like “Wake up” with its chant-worthy lyrics; “We’re just a million little gods/ Causing rain storms turning every good thing to rust/ I guess we’ll just have to adjust.” The two tracks—both singles from their respective albums—have nearly the same tempo and beat, a similar chorus, but an instrumentation of bass instruments—a bass clarinet among them—gives the new song a sinister cloud. Forgive the analogy, but just like the song’s title, it’s as if the song is a backwards, dark representation of the Arcade Fire of yesterday. It’s not melodic and high-pitched the way most of Funeral was, and it remains to be seen if the tracks can translate to the band’s live performance.
With its last CD, Arcade Fire was likened to everyone from David Bowie to David Byrne, which is understandable when you think of what made them so wildly popular. The audience, either waiting for an album to hit the store or staring at microphones waiting for the show to begin, never knows what it’s going to get. Whose songs will they play? How will they play? Where will they play them? Will anyone be hurt? A band grows fans for that sense of unknowingness, and the desire to understand and be involved. So when the band plays a song that you know at the end of the night, out in the cold on their drums and upright bass and viola, you can scream it at the top of your lungs alongside them. Neon Bible examines the darker side of that obsession, and asks fans to follow them into the harrowing, confusing world of the evangelical. They will follow the pop skeleton of the album, and stay for the lyrics and the dark weather that this album exuberates, hoping only not to be betrayed by their own trust in the band’s subject matter.
An organ groans in the background of several tracks for the album, lending a firm booming drone to tracks like “Intervention,” the first single, and a chant called “My Body is a Cage.” Its effect in the latter is possibly the most grabbing piece on the album, and also its closer. With each verse that passes by the organ grows louder, the drum beat grows more intense, until the effect nearly washes out the wailing vocals—“My body is a cage/ That keeps me from dancing with the one I love/ But my heart holds the key.” The result is something like the band’s fans are used to, the simplicity and inclusiveness of folk music long past, with an organ and drum present to almost duplicate the feeling of a group singing together. It shakes with the togetherness of a chant, the foundation with which the band was built, but leaves the listener to wonder if they can sing along, or if the album version might be the loudest the song can get.
Love and Dildos
Love & Sex Extravaganza
7/10
by Matthew Dashkoff
Sex should only be between two individuals in love. Now, we all know that’s a crock, but my night touring the Squeaky Wheel’s annual “Love & Sex Extravaganza” show at 712 Main St. shed a little light on why that confusion may have occurred. On this particular evening, one of Buffalo’s most celebrated media arts centers was holding a forum on various sexual motifs, and just like UB’s Arts Department, everyone there was slightly…unique.
The studio is a very compact and well-organized exhibition space set in the building’s basement. Various genres of framed artwork line the stairway wall as it descends into the main room. Upon entering the large, dimly lit space, I noticed a projection screen and several rows of chairs. A handful of smaller rooms containing computers and various digital arts equipment border the one-story studio’s perimeter. After the barrage of propositions and promises of extravagant gift baskets filled with scented bed lotions and old Clinton gag books at the raffle ticket table, I began my crusade.
The arts event featured many different activities to partake in, some more titillating than others. The “Kinetoscopophilia” room comprised of a flash video of various old-fashioned pornographic pictures that danced across the screen in a tame and lackluster manner. The woman proctor, who was unnecessarily dressed like Charlie Chapman, had hid a camera next to the monitor and photographed me as I watched, unknowingly. She fumbled with a computer and handed me a picture of myself as I left, confusing me terribly. Afterwards, I toured the various gift packages to be auctioned off at the end of the night, scoping out different gag-whips and edible underwear that I couldn’t be paid to bid on. At 9:30, some wacky, nonsensical sex interpretations were displayed at the amateur screening. Some videos were funny, others creative, but the effort won over our hearts and ignited my dependency on alcohol, so I hit the cash bar. From there, I made my way to the sexual origami room, where I made a pretty nice set of babylons out of construction paper. While folding an awkward vagina out of some red paper and listening to the lady on my lefts’ attempts to hit on another, my attention was diverted by a general announcement.
Up to this point, I was bored and unimpressed. That is, until they whipped out the sex toys. Our new friend and bedroom specialist, Ms. Sanya Price, gathered a group of us into a small room and gave us the erotic rundown on the latest from the “Party Girl Line.” She showed us the usual edible body toppings: the nipple paste, the body paint, the fairy dust, and everyone’s favorite clitoral stimulant, Liquor Wish (yes, that is a play on words). She passed out the fuzzy handcuffs, the beaded whips (to which I heard a woman behind me cry “stop flogging me!” to her husband), and displayed the Super Mitt, a latex, oven mitt-shaped glove whose purpose escapes me to this day, although I have my theories. Price even grabbed a volunteer to demonstrate the latest in bondage tape technology (reusable, perfect for the poor and shameless college student!), but I truly was not ready for what I was about to witness.
Now those who know me understand that I am no stranger to the sexual apparatus, but dildos that run off more voltage than a microwave? That’s out of my league. I want to get her off, not juice her. The first dildo on display was the Waskally Wabbit, a three-speed, rotating, vibrating behemoth with a built-in clit tickler. Sanya passed it around—I used it as a back massager. Second came the similarly shaped Ultimate Orgasm, aptly named, for it has over forty speeds and adjustments. Even the driest, most cold-hearted broad couldn’t resist this monster. The Clitoriffic, a.k.a. the Cucumber, is also a dildo, though I thought it was a purple bowling pin at first glance. A pussy that big needs to get a job—we’re at war, do your part!
Finally we were introduced to the mother-load, the grand-daddy. I don’t know who was responsible for designing this, I’m guessing a woman—half engineer, half crazed sex-fiend—but this one, coming from a guy’s perspective, has the potential to put all males out of business forever. It’s called the Venus Penis and it has got everything I could imagine a girl would ask for. It’s a vibrating dildo with four straps attached: two tie around the legs and two around the waist. This hands-free dildo has a built in clit fiddler and it all nestles quite fittingly up against the female’s goody box. It’s the ultimate pocket rocket as far as I can tell. You can take the Venus Penis on the go, at work, on the treadmill, even in the club! The small remote control discretely regulates the unit’s intensity, so you can get your homework done, and get off at the same time. And she’s quiet too, which is good for those late-night study sessions on campus. While hitting the Capen silent study area, you can remain undetected. As far as I can tell, ladies, you’ve hit the jackpot. First, the right to vote, then a vibrator that goes where you go with no hassle or messy clean-up? And you say you’re a victim of the glass ceiling. You’ve got the portable cooch melter and we’re sitting here with our thumbs up our asses.
But don’t worry fellas. The end isn’t nigh just yet. As if it were an immediate response to this evil, rubber faux-cock, we’ve been given the Monica, a hand-held vagina; just add lubricant! Named after the infamous intern, this is a hollow, latex mouth with a pouch for a small vibrator. I don’t think an explanation is necessary here, but let me just add one word of warning: this toy does not self-clean. If you’re the unhygienic type, your probably better off with the conventional method, otherwise this one could get messy/sticky/revolting fairly quickly. However, if you feel you can handle this responsibility, say goodbye to the nagging, the yapping, and the crying forever! The Monica doesn’t expect a phone call the next day and swallows every time.
All in all, the “Love & Sex” show taught me a great deal. From the interesting people to the frightening sex tools, there were plenty of new experiences to walk away with. I learned that abstinence probably isn’t a terrible idea and that love and sex don’t necessarily have to go together, especially when gag-balls are involved.
TURTLE POWER!
TMNT
6/10
by Tori Burhans
Almost all college-aged students have some sort of deep appreciation for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Whether it’s the cartoon, the live action movies, or Vanilla Ice’s “The Ninja Rap,” these turtles mean a lot to many people. With the new reincarnation of the mutant warriors, TMNT tries to stay true to turtles of old while bringing the story into the future.
Set in present-day New York City, we open to find the brothers split apart. Leonardo is hiding away in Central America training to lead his brothers, Donatello works as a tech-support guy, Michelangelo dresses up as a turtle for children’s birthday parties, and Raphael is dishing out vigilante justice under the pseudonym of the Night Watcher. This family has to end its squabbling in order to save the world from an ancient Central American immortal god (voiced by the incomparable Patrick Stewart) and his army of stone generals. Leonardo and Raphael settle their family differences in a roof top tête-à-tête, turtle-on-turtle battle, leaving the viewer feeling as if they should call up their siblings and apologize for any disputes they once had. In the end, this film is more about the coming of age of the turtles, than the action-filled conflicts with the villains.
With a lot to live up to, TMNT brings back all the characters from our past. Joining the turtles in their adventures is Miss April O’Neil (voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar) who is now a rare art dealer after hanging up her yellow jumpsuit and journalism career. Her boyfriend Casey Jones also comes into the fray acting as a sidekick and friend to all the turtles. Spitting out words of wisdom like Confucius, Master Splinter is back as the family counselor to the boys. Rounding out the cast of familiar faces is “The Foot,” the turtles’ old rival’s foot army who ominously sets up a sequel that foreshadows ex-villain Shredder’s return.
TMNT tries hard to satisfy the faithful fans of the heroes in a half-shell, as well as the new generation of four eight-year- olds. All in all, they deliver some pretty cool visual action sequences and the skater/surfer humor one would expect. Though it’s less of a stoner movie (they only ate pizza two times in the movie!) and more of a family values movie, it is definitely entertaining. I recommend waiting to rent it, however, because it’s always awkward when the average viewer is a toddler with his parent.
Let’s drink some buckie
Living with the Living - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
9/10
by Danielle Westfall
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists recently produced and released a new album, Living with the Living. All of the songs on the CD are upbeat and melodic, and each has its own message; the music is thought provoking and meaningful, rare in today’s industry. Both “The Sons of Cain” and “Army Bound” are energetic, the epitome of “rock-out” music. The song, “Who Do You Love” places a lot of emphasis on refreshing electric guitar lines. The end of the track is broken down by lyric-less instrumentals, accentuating the rhythmic beat of the tambourine.
“Colleen” is not so much a song as it is a collection of words that all rhyme with the aforementioned surname. Of course’ Ted Leo cheated a bit; not all the words ended in “n”: dream, steam, machine. Ted Leo sings, “every one wants something from Colleen.” Maybe Colleen is a prostitute. We should always assume the worst.
“A Bottle of Buckie” is one that I want to hear more songs about. According to Urbandictionary.com, buckie is “a vile alcoholic beverage much loved by alkies and children, especially in Scotland.” There is no doubt in my mind that children and alcoholics have a lot in common, but Leo does not condone isolated alcoholism or drug abuse (much like his band name implies). He strongly suggests doing it with another person. Everyone knows drinking all by your lonesome is the root of America’s deepest social problems. This edgy punk track is spiced up with some Scottish jamming in the background. The fife and yodeling complete its image as music you crush beers against your head to.
A couple of the songs on Living with the Living were quite different in sound than the rest. “Bomb.Repeat.Bomb” and “Annunciation Day/ Born on Christmas Day” both are wired and shaky. The vocals are sporadic, as if the band couldn’t pay attention to both the music and the lyrics at the same time. “Bomb” and “Annunciation Day” are both very screamy which makes them difficult to understand, but I guess thrashing doesn’t require lyrical interpretation.
For the most part, Living with the Living is well rounded, as Ted Leo and the Pharmacists have some substantial musical experience behind them. Their songs aren’t boring, and Ted Leo can hold a high note like no other.
What Carnal Assault Will The Cartoon Network Release On Us Next?
Saul of the Mole Men
8/10
by Guy M. Scrivo
Today’s installment of media entertainment is Saul of the Mole Men, a new live-action show on Adult Swim, airing on Sunday nights.
Sadly, too many of you young’uns don’t know enough about American culture to recognize the names Sid and Marty Krofft, the puppetteering overlords behind such vintage children’s television as HR Pufnstuf, Land of the Lost, The Buggaloos, and The Banana Splits. While baffling to the inexperienced, such television programs proved to be the meat and potatoes of many childhoods, including my own. I could waste both of our time on earth reminiscing, but I’d rather discuss Saul.
Saul Malone is a meager and neurotic geologist who somehow survives the catastrophe that kills most of his higher-ups on their journey to the earth’s center, and Saul is left to survive in the land of the Mole Men, a kingdom filled with man-moles in large costumes made primarily of yarn. He’s joined by Johnny Tambourine, an effeminate pop star with a British accent, and Robot, a robot full of the innards of an old man who checked the organ donor box on his driver’s license.
But is it entertaining? Yes, indeed it is. While it certainly helps to be grounded in a good understanding of ‘70s children’s television, it’s by no means a necessary precursor to enjoying the show. The sight gags and writing make up the bulk of this show’s humor, not the plot or the parody of archaic children’s shows. I haven’t polled anyone else’s opinions of the show, but usually when I ask people about new things on Sunday night Adult Swim, they say, “That was just weird. I didn’t understand it.” That’s been the case since the early days of Sealab 2021 and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
So, should you watch this show? Well, it depends on your personality type. If fifteen-minute Adult Swim shows upset you for thinking outside of the box on a comedic level, then you should probably stick to the canned “weirdness” of shows like American Dad with a sitcom style “set ‘em up, knock ‘em down” joke delivery. I know if I recommend jokes that are funny, on more than two levels, it will force your brain to lag like a computer loaded with tons of malicious ad ware, and you’ll all write me emails to say “5pongeb0b r00000lz!!1”
I guess the real question here is “will you like Saul of the Mole Men?” My guess is that you already know whether or not you will appreciate it before you even see one episode. If you see commercials for Saul and go “What the fuck is this unfamiliar shit?!? Chinese Dracula?!?” then you should keep a healthy distance and allow me to appreciate such television shows in peace. But if you’re old enough to know of any Krofftcraft, or open minded enough to appreciate inappropriate gore and absurd dialogue, I doubt you’ll regret checking out Saul.
JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH
Sound of Silver - LCD Soundsystem
8/10
by Elina Vaysbeyn
There isn’t much contemporary music that impresses me. I’m more of a Zeppelin, pass me that joint, Hendrix kind of girl, but sometimes modernity catches up with me. LCD Soundsystem is a prog-rock statement band with none of that pretentious indie bullshit. It’s a good thing their album Sound of Silver has a humble presentation. Their repertoire, on the other hand, is a super groovy mix of electronica, synthpop, ‘80s, and alternative beats.
“Time To Get Away” sounds a lot like their old stuff (redundant, but mildly fun and electronic) with more awesome lyrics and a very mod singing style. It has pretty good energy: a funky, synthesized mix. What’s even better is that I can understand the lyrics. LCD is obsessed with maintaining a fast, non-stop pace, and the end result is shockingly sophisticated. “Someone Great,” sounding nothing like their previous material, began with a dark, techno sound. It turned into a fun, synth-pop melody, like a remake of an ‘80s song. I was surprised to hear LCD take a new-wave spin on their album. A cute little xylophone idly interrupted the dark electronic back-track. James Murphy might as well be Robert Smith of The Cure the way his voice croons to the restless synthesized piano couplets.
“Us v Them” is very fast and dancey, with few and repetitive lyrics (like true techno and trance). It whirs into a metallic frenzy of cowbell and warm, inviting synthesized pop, and goes back to a drumming chant once again throughout the course of a long eight minutes. “Watch the Tapes” really struck me as innovative and non-abrasive in its progressiveness. This track spit a simple ‘70s Velvet Undergroundian lyrical composition, underscored by groovy sound effects. Think Blur’s “Song 2” regurgitated through a meat grinder and infused with funk.
The title track, “Sound of Silver,” could have been the long-awaited love child of Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails if not for one thing. Its sinister manufactured backdrop and a deep, sensuous tone washed over the flat, meaningless lyrics, “makes you want to feel like a teenager / until you remember the feelings of / a real life emotional teenager.” They did not live up to the influential reputations of the genre’s progenitors. “Sound of Silver” fluctuates between ominous cathedral music and the high pitched pings of a stalactite hitting the floor of its cavernous abode.
LCD Soundsystem created an actively changing work of art. It does not respond to anything but sets up an offense of its own. Their spectrum of musical improvisation is very wide, reaching all the way from ‘70s funk into a computer-crafted, detached acid or dance rock, fantastically blended to create my heart’s true guilty pleasure of electro-clash, which exudes eroticism, and a bad attitude.
Toughest Man in a Skirt and Chancletas
God of War 2
9/10
by Abel Germosen
God of War is back and, in an inexplicable show of loyalty, only for the Playstation 2. This bigger, badder sequel delivers almost a carbon copy of what the original game did. But this shouldn’t turn gamers off, being that the original was arguably one of the best games on any system in 2004. Visually, God of War II can hold its own in the midst of a next-generation transition, but its greatest attribute and trump card is the story.
We start off with our maniac, the newly appointed God of War, Kratos, in all his godly glory; armored up and beating up Titan statues—you know, fun stuff. Throwing enemies around is fantastic, but it really picks up when he is once again betrayed by the gods and stripped of his divine status. We all love an anti-hero, especially one who just got his feelings crushed. Offended by his demotion, Kratos goes on a violence-filled rampage against his former employer, Zeus himself.
Gameplay is identical to its earlier iteration, although new additions serve to keep the game fresh. The action is very stylish and upbeat, sometimes you’ll hope for a break. It is also really bloody: ripping bodies apart, tearing the wings out of bat-like creature—really just an exceptional combat system. One of the cooler new features allows our protagonist to swing from designated points found around the game. These are useful and help save time, maybe compensating for the hours that you’ll spend solving puzzles and some great boss fights. Some of the other new additions include flying atop a Pegasus and wrestling in a free-fall scenario. These new features, however, are not really major, as the story is the main focus and the core gameplay remains intact.
The graphics this time around are equally as stunning. Beautiful environments, water effects, and excellent character models give the game a unique look. The movie clips are also impressive and the voice acting is excellent. God of War II leaves a glowing impression, even when you compare it to games we’ve seen on the PS3 and Xbox 360.
God of War II is an excellent game, and a testament to what good developers can do, even with an “inferior” system. Solid graphics, entertaining puzzles, and nail-biting action sequences make this a game to remember, even if it is more of a continuation of the original. If the extreme violence does not catch your attention, the story makes God of War worth any gamer’s time.
