There was a girl with a purple hat, she never sat quietly in back, her hand she would raise, and tell us all about her grades, until someone finally beat her with a bat.

To that stupid Salsa place in Ellicott- give me my goddamn guacamole for free! I refuse to pay $.50 for something neon green that comes out a tube with a generic brand on it. You know nobody remembers to order it with their meal so you might as well let us have it for free. p.s. Get a grill that wasn't made by fisher price.

I have a copy of the periodic table hanging on my wall and I still get laid more than Moss...

Enter personals here: *(points to weiner)*

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do, it's usually something exotic.

Will wrestle with Polish Sausage. -Love Freaky Asian Chick.

To the TA with brown hair in psy*** (if you’re in the class you know who I’m talking about) the entire class wants to fuck you.

To the hot Polish kid with a big cock: stop wasting away in the library and let me fuck you like an animal. Then we could grab some cheese steaks, from your Russian mistress.

To all of you who listen to your ipods at full volume while in class or in the library, I want to cut your ears off. Stop being so rude. Love, Blondie

To the upstairs neighbor not-so-affectionately-known as Stompy: I hate you and your stupid girlfriend with every fiber of my being. I’m sick and tired of hearing the fighting, the make up sex, the earth-shattering stomping of your feet on my ceiling, and your girlfriend’s lame fake crying. I know where you are in your apartment at any time. I suggest you walk lighter before I shoot you through the floor. P.S. You’re girlfriend is psycho. Do us both a favor and ship her back to Canada.

fuck the generation

You wish. We’re a great lay.

three girls need to get laid....accepting applicants without VD's. Into extreme kinkiness and wall shattering orgasms.... 4some very possible if you have a huge wang...and we'll smoke a blunt...

To the president of UB Boxing, You are a sexy motha fucker and I’d go round for round with you any day of the week. Let me be the Adrienne to your Rocky. Shizam!

Generation has wide pussies!!1

I already voted. Fuck off.

So long, and thanks for all the bagels.

3.28.07

To the orange girl in PSY ***: the entire class wants to bang you senseless. Especially the guys who sit behind you because your sweatpants are so tight we can see the entirety of your ass.

Man, these PSY classes sound fantastic. I’ma get in on this shit.

To everyone who doesn’t hold doors for people behind you: I hope the next time you let the door swing closed behind you, a midget in a ninja suit walks up and shoots you repeatedly in both kneecaps with a semi-automatic and you’re left to beg people to open the door so you can get to the hospital.

thnks for all the persnals guyz! it makes class so much better.

Mmmmhm. We know. We’re here for you. But what with the new personals box on teh internets,we’re getting quite an influx of submissions, so you’re going to have to step it up to see yours in here. Only the strong survive.