MILLION COCK MARCH
Superbad
6/10
by Elina Vaysbeyn
Hollywood has shoe-shined and polished the unrefined art of poking fun at our awkward, gawky, high school days: the headgear braces, the weird clothes, the uncontrollable teenage angst, and yes, the maddening race to hand over your virginity to anyone who will have it. Superbad caricatures the growing pains of adolescence, so we get that familiar taste of what used to be.
Best buds Seth and Evan (Jonah Hill and Michael Cera) are pretty big geeks, picked on by bullies and totally ball-less when it comes to talking to girls—yet these underdogs score a couple of good-looking females. Seth, whose list of sexual conquests goes as far as three quarters of a “blow-j,” is after Jules (Emma Stone) and Evan is head over heels in love with Becca (Martha MacIsaac). They are invited to Jules’ party and are assigned the task of buying all the alcohol. Nothing can go wrong. Right?
Jonah Hill and Michael Cera both have experience doing comedic performance. Hill was recently in Knocked Up and Accepted, and Cera plays the cousin-kissing son of Michael Bluth (hotty Jason Bateman) on Arrested Development. They had no problem squeezing into the high school geek roles they were awarded in Superbad. However, Hill and Cera might have gotten into the Ritalin stash before they threw on their acting masks. The entire film is a hormonal dash from one misadventure to the next. The depressing thing is that most of these misadventures involve 16-year-old boys with boners. Let’s face it, it wasn’t attractive when we were in high school and it still isn’t. Getting a stiffy in an inappropriate situation can be hysterical. An hour and 14 minutes worth of dick jokes, on the other hand, is a totally different can of worms.
The affectionate and goofy best friend cop characters were nauseatingly irksome. It’s hard to watch the police portrayed as nice guys, considering most of the experiences high school kids have with law are pretty traumatizing and hardly positive. There might be some shooting and there might be some drinking, but neither party will be doing both.
In the midst of the overacting and the plethora of phallus-filled imagery, there are some amusing parts, but don’t count on too many. Superbad was destined to be mediocre, wedged infuriatingly somewhere in limbo between premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
THE POLICE ARE BACK
Concert Review - The Police
Quicken Loans Arena - July 16, 2007
9/10
by Bob Fullex
When The Police declared to the world that they were starting a reunion tour, I held my breath, but a few months later the tour was still on. They played in Cleveland, at Quicken Loans Arena (home of the Cleveland Cavaliers), where I sat a mere 15 rows away from the stage.
The three-piece group hit the stage and lit up the first track with “Message in a Bottle.” They had a really crisp and articulate sound and you could tell immediately that these guys had not lost a step in their playing over the years. The crowd really got into “Message in a Bottle,” so much so that it was actually hard to hear them playing through all of the cheers. When I looked up I could see that the entire place was packed. There were even people behind the stage; the whole arena was sold out.
The next song was “Synchronicity II,” which was equally intense. Guitarist Andy Summers played a very unique but tasteful guitar solo, characteristic of his jazzy style. It also seemed that Andy was doing a bit more soloing than the group has allowed him to do in the past, and he really added some nice touches to the old songs. They played a newer rendition of “The Bed’s Too Big Without You,” during which Summers’ guitar chords had a reggae feel and drummer Stuart Copeland’s groove added a Latin tone to the mix. They added some nice new little kicks to it.
They jammed for a while through “When The World Is Running Down” and it lost some of the crowd’s interest. The Police have never been much of a jam band. They have always been really in tune musically and lyrically at the same time. After that, Copeland settled into a pleasant, little groove on his new percussion-based setup and they played “Wrapped Around Your Finger,” which made the beginning of the song sound fuller. Halfway through, he jumped back on his regular drum kit and they finished out the song. Andy kept jumping off the drum riser and they all seemed to be really enjoying themselves. They did three encores and played “King of Pain,” which was a very melodic ballad. “So Lonely” picked up the tempo. It sounded immaculate, just like the original recording. Then they ended with “Every Breath You Take,” and “Next to You,” which is an upbeat song from the punk music revolution. After that they all joined hands at the front of the stage and bowed. It was a nostalgic moment for longtime fans of The Police. The audience was left considerably awestruck by the performance.
A STUNNING CONCLUSION
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
10/10
by Tori Burhans
The series that captivated an entire generation has come to an end, and it went out with a bang. For over a decade we’ve grown up alongside the golden boy and his motley crew of supporters in the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. In the last installment, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Rowling ties up all the loose ends while still giving the reader a rollercoaster ride of geeky goodness.
Like every book in the series, it begins with Harry leaving the Dursley residence, but there’s no time for a teary good-bye. The magical world isn’t the same place it was seven years ago, and the preparations for his return are lengthy. “He Who Must Not Be Named,” aka Voldemort, and his crew of Death Eaters have slowly taken over. At the peak of Voldemort’s power, Harry faces more challenges in the last book than in any of the previous. Aimed to fulfill the last mission bestowed on him by Professor Dumbledore, Harry, Ron and Hermione set out to find and destroy Horcruxes (trinkets that hold pieces of Voldemort’s soul) in order to successfully defeat the Dark Lord. The narrative leads us to places that we’ve never been to before in the series, but ends in the most familiar: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After avoiding the school they all once called “home” for the entire length of the novel, the trio finds themselves fighting a war against the Death Eaters. What could be better for a Potter fan than a major wizardry battle to end this fantastic series?
One of the great things about Harry Potter is that Rowling wanted her characters to grow up alongside her readership. They all faced jealousy, relationship problems, and other obstacles that are inevitable when it comes to maturing. Rowling also showed the duplicity that exists in all of us. Children’s books are notorious for one-dimensional characters and Rowling at times would fall into that trap. In The Deathly Hallows, however, she adds fullness and depth to the characters, creating the illusion of fledgling personalities. Dumbledore, Professor Snape, the Malfoys, and even Cousin Dudley become three-dimensional with multiple facets to their life.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was amazing to the last chapter. Like every part of the series, I read it with a force that could not be stopped. 759 pages blew by leaving me wanting more, until the epilogue. Firming up all the loose ends by pushing fast forward on the Potter universe, we’re given a chance to see our beloved friends, 19 years into the future. Rowling gives us all the answers leaving no room for imagination, but isn’t fantasy what Harry Potter is all about? Regardless, the last book in this epic series delights the mind and is a fitting end for the Boy Who Lived.
BOURNE YET AGAIN
The Bourne Ultimatum
8/10
by Stephen Boyd
I want to be Jason Bourne, let me just start by saying that. Why? He has the ability to move between countries, even continents, with ease and with no regard for money, transportation, or food. He can beat up four people at a time and can jump across Moroccan rooftops like some kind of highly-trained American superhero. He rescues beautiful women from the clutches of the government and puts evil CIA officials in prison. Not to mention that he’s incredibly conflicted, emotionally and psychologically. Hell, he doesn’t even have a fully functional memory. These are all the makings of a character who presents more than the usual James Bond-ian blow stuff up ethos.
The third installment of the successful series finds our hero, played with minimalist skill by Matt Damon, traversing continents once again in an attempt to regain his lost memory and punish the government agency that took it from him. They’ve also killed his German sweetheart, played by Franka Potente, and now he’s mad as hell. But the good news is, people are onto the CIA’s shady dealings. A British newspaper reporter uncovers information about Treadstone, the agency that trained Bourne to become an assassin, and is publishing it in a series of exposés. Bourne meets him but isn’t able to get any information on his past and essentially hunts down two top CIA agents (played by Joan Allen and David Straithairn) for the rest of the film.
Shot mostly with shaky handheld cameras, director Paul Greengrass achieves a first-person feel in the action sequences, as if the audience is standing around Bourne watching him in awe as he takes on anyone (or anything) that stands in his way. This usually includes a variety of police officers, government assassins, cars, buildings, and trains, not to mention bridges, planes, and rivers. Greengrass also captures the beauty of his various locales, including Tangier, London, and New York City. Part of the draw of the film is watching Bourne wreak havoc in fantastic urban environments and knowing he won’t get caught.
Admittedly, some of the chase scenes are over the top, but they achieve believability because the audience is invested in Bourne’s ability to be just that awesome. Damon performed all of the stunts for the role, an uncommon occurrence in a big-budget action film, but this isn’t your normal action flick. It has psychology, emotion, intrigue, exotic locales, strong performances, and a smart script that doesn’t rely too heavily on cliché or other simplistic conventions of the genre. The Bourne Ultimatum is the smartest action film of the summer, and undeniably the coolest.
2 LEGIT 2 QUIT
Hot Rod
8/10
by Elina Vaysbeyn
Ok, imagine a hotter Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite). Now, imagine him riding a pseudo-moped. Now slap a fake mustache on that sucker and you’ve got Hot Rod. Andy Samberg plays Rod in the summer’s quintessential “awkward comedy,” Hot Rod. Fortunately, the more awkward it turned, the more amusing it became. Along with Samberg, Hot Rod starred Chris Parnell, a member of Samberg’s SNL posse, and his partner in crime in the Lazy Sunday YouTube video. Parnell wasn’t Samberg’s number one man, though. Instead, Samberg’s sidekick crew consisted of a couple of SNL-ers, Jorma Taccone and Bill Hader, Isla Fisher of Wedding Crashers (think schizo hot redhead), and Danny McBride.
Rod’s story is one of constant defeat and rebirth. Like the determined phoenix, he arises again and again only to go up in flames, and also achieve physical states that warrant hospitalization. He is a striving, thriving stuntman. Rod uses his mad crazy moped-riding skills to crash into walls, collide with trucks, and also pick up his love interest, Isla Fisher. His goal is to fund-raise enough money to get a heart transplant for his step-dad, so he can consequently kill him by kicking his ass wearing a bizarre gladiator outfit. Living out the dream of his “dead, superdead” birth father and hoping someday to beat his dying step-father to death in order to gain his respect, Rod goes through a series of hurdles, in spite of himself. Does he come out victorious?
Once you boil down the facts, Hot Rod was a better-produced and less tedious Napoleon Dynamite combined with the amateur machismo of Nacho Libre and the lovable stoner humor of Half Baked. Andy Samberg’s mischievous gapped smile and his soft curly locks are really reason enough to plop yourself in a cushy movie theater seat.
The other reason is the phenomenal soundtrack to which Rod operates (or perhaps professionally grooves to) on a daily basis. His life is one long trip back to the ‘80s. Some ballads should really remain history, but Rod animates them with his Broadway-worthy choreography (right before he wipes out, of course). The momentum of these songs, along with the beautiful scenery and the satisfactory acting, provides a feathery tickle in the side of the most skeptical viewers. Many of these prog-rock smash hits were written, released, and filed away along with the decade, but pulling out the classics, like Europe’s “Rock the Night” and “Danger on the Track,” made it easier to relate to and root for Rod, the overzealous protagonist. The off-the-wall humor and overall bizarre nature of the dialogue was just tasteless enough, and the jokes were totally accessible and not the over-the-top weird kind you just laugh off (like you do when you don’t really get it).
It’s not a psychological thriller. It’s not a romantic comedy, thank God. It’s also not an intense, fast-paced drama. This movie won’t make you think much, but it’s a nice reminder that sometimes we just take ourselves too seriously. And like I said, Andy Samberg is one tall glass of water.
WHAT'S THE RADIO FREQUENCY?
TV on the Radio - SPAC, July 30, 2007
8/10
by Erin McCarthy
July 30, 2007 was a wretchedly hot day. My whole body was aching after weeks of serving unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks to tourists at my local Olive Garden. I felt terribly lucky when I was able to get the day off to head to the Saratoga Performing Arts Center to watch TV on the Radio perform at EQX Fest. The group is described as a combination of free jazz, a cappella, doo-wop, soul, trip-hop and electro. Initially, I was shocked to learn that the Brooklyn-based quintet would be performing only 45 minutes from my parents’ house in East Bumblefuck, New York. When I lived in Buffalo, the closest they ever seemed to come was Toronto, so this was a treat.
When I arrived at SPAC, I couldn’t understand why the amphitheater wasn’t packed. “Where’s TV on the Radio performing?” I asked one of the workers. She looked at me quizzically, as most people had done previously when I told them that I wanted to see TVOTR and not 311, or any of the other lame-ass bands that were performing. “Uh,” she said, “I don’t know who that is. Go ask the information tent.” Okay…on to the information tent, who pointed me to this pathetic excuse for a stage. It looked like the clapboard remnants of Bobo the Clown’s palace at the county fair. Fuck’s sake! TV on the Radio was too big for this bullshit! Plus, where was everyone? I shouldn’t complain because I was able to edge right up to the stage, but only a handful of folks had come out to see the group.
When the boys finally took the stage, lead singer, Tunde Adebimpe, poured several water bottles on to the dehydrated crowd, who jumped and danced enthusiastically to the group’s set, which included “Dreams,” “Wolf Like Me,” and “Staring at the Sun.” The members of TVOTR take advantage of every part of the instruments they play, be they vocals, guitars, or even wind chimes. Many groups contain talented musicians whose egos battle each other so the overall sound doesn’t blend, but this is not the case. In fact, the combined brilliance of these musicians created a sound that I thought (and was rather hoping) would spontaneously combust the makeshift stage and the shoddy sound equipment. TVOTR was simply too big for the setting in which they were forced to perform. Despite this, they played a solid set with fantastic energy and enthusiasm. They never once looked disappointed that they got such a raw deal.
On the way out, I ran into a fellow coworker. “What, you aren’t staying for 311?” he asked. “No, I just came to see TV on the Radio.” “Who the hell are they?” he asked. Oh God, make it stop! Folks, take my word for it, these guys will pour their heart into a show, despite the conditions. If you get a chance, definitely tune in to their sound.
GET ROCKED AT THE KNOX
Concert Preview, September 7
by Tara-Jeanne Sullivan
Summer is the time to see great outdoor concerts—and there are only a few short weeks left to do that. Taking chances with the weather in Buffalo isn’t advisable, so enjoy it while you still can. Sure, there are a handful of Thursday at the Square shows left, and Fallfest is this weekend, but if you’re looking for something bigger and better—something to end 2007’s summer concert season with a bang, look no further than the Albright-Knox art gallery this Friday night.
The museum’s annual Rockin’ at the Knox concert trades hushed gallery tours for straight up rock n’ roll. Past performers include Wilco in 2005 and Blondie last summer. Friday’s show proves to be the biggest one yet. Scottish rocker Paolo Nutini and Canadian performer Feist will open for the venerable rock icon, Elvis Costello.
Paolo Nutini, yet another scruffy U.K. export, began his music career as a part time roadie and T-shirt vendor for a friend’s band. After getting hooked on the scene, he dropped out of school in Glasgow at age 16 and started performing at clubs around London. With his smooth voice, good looks, and catchy guitar riffs, he attracted Atlantic Records who signed him at 18. He has shared stages with impressive acts like Robert Plant, Kid Rock, and the Rolling Stones. With hits like “New Shoes” and “Jenny Don’t Be Hasty,” Nutini had a jump start on his career.
Leslie Feist, or simply Feist, toured with Canadian punk band Placebo from the adolescent age of 15. Five years later, she decided to tone it down a notch. She is quoted in The Toronto Sun as saying, “I have to admit to myself that I’m rolling more than rocking these days.” No matter. Her angelic voice, unique artistic vision, and background (she is buds with Peaches, Meril Nisker, and was part of famed indie outfit Broken Social Scene), puts her at the forefront of today’s music scene. Check out the quirky video, “1234,” from her 2007 album The Reminder, and see her work a bright blue, sparkly jumpsuit—the girl’s got some moves.
The man. The music. The glasses. After busting into the popular music scene in 1977 with his band The Attractions, Elvis Costello, born Declan Patrick MacManus, has proven to be one of rock’s most definitive figures. His music has survived throughout the decades and across genres. Costello is said to have heralded in the new wave sound with his debut, My Aim is True, but has produced albums using soul, pop, punk and even country western sounds. He is best known for singles like “Pump it Up,” “Radio Radio,” and “I Can’t Stand Up for Falling Down,” and appearing in films like 200 Cigarettes, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, and most recently Talladega Nights. He has also shared the stage with the Beastie Boys on Saturday Night Live where he interrupts their set to sing “Radio Radio,” a nod to his own memorable 1977 SNL experience.
Forty dollars is steep for concert tickets, there’s no denying that. But with the admission price you can peruse the gallery for the day and enjoy smaller musical acts leading up to the big finale.
INDIE MOVIE 101
Interview Review
4/10
by Tori Burhans
Indie films can really go in two separate directions: one could be a masterful expression of the human condition; another can take a downward spiral into cliché and self-deprecating art. As hard as Interview tries, it ends up falling into the latter category. Written, directed by, and starring Steve Buscemi, the movie comes off like a mediocre project assigned in an Intro to Movie Making class.
It chronicles an awkward night between Katya (Sienna Miller) and Pierre Peders (Buscemi). Despite being a reputable war journalist for a news magazine, Peders is assigned a fluff piece on one of the many media darlings that captivate American curiosity. Ticked off from the start, he insults the prima donna but somehow gets invited up to her apartment. Trust me, this is only the tip of the unrealistic iceberg. Buscemi writes Katya as a fictional Lindsay Lohan: she is plagued by “dad issues,” a coke habit, and a seductive nature that makes old men afraid to stand up at the end of her movies. The rest of Interview flows like a creepy wet dream. The two get plastered while divulging secrets, acting familial one second and sexual the next. Though it may sound odd, the incest overtones became one of the most interesting topics of conversation between the two. Full of deceit and depressing monologues, Interview ends in a surprising twist.
Though both actors give strong performances, it’s the plot that suffers. Two people having a battle of wits in a New York City loft can only go so far, especially when Sienna Miller plays a B-movie actress who also moonlights as a soap star. Miller gives a valiant effort to make Katya interesting the only way she knows how—by making her overtly sexual. Though this is Buscemi’s project, I found myself wishing he wasn’t the star. As the perpetual “supporting actor,” he sets himself up for a huge fall by taking the lead role.
Interview strives to be a commentary on the media-obsessed world in which we live. Our society is one which cares more about the latest DWI of their favorite starlet but ignores crucial global events. The movie sets out to show that everyone is not exactly how they may seem, but essentially fails at disproving any stereotypes. In the end, Katya remains in her external shell and we have not gotten any closer to the real deal. Peders can’t break away from the role of the officious journalist who will do anything for a story. Despite a valiant effort, Buscemi’s freshman venture into moviemaking falls short of wowing the viewer. A few more movies like Interview and he’ll be sticking to what he knows best: staying in front of the camera and leaving the real work to the experts.
