Emily Bauer - Sophomore, biology

What are you doing this weekend?

I’m not sure, can I say that? Probably dancing. In a garage probably, or a basement.

Have you gone to any good parties since you’ve been back to school?

We are college kids—of course.

Anything good happen?

I learned to roll a cigarette, that was a good one.

Where do you live?

Off campus, in a basement.

Where at?

Off Sweethome, a suburban complex. It’s exciting, people mow their lawns.

People often burn down things to get insurance money, do you know about this?

Yeah yeah, people kill their kids, crazy shit….

Well, we just wanted to know how you would burn your house down to get insurance money.

I’d invite a friend over to smoke cigarettes… a cigarette fire. I love my basement, I wouldn’t burn it down intentionally, money doesn’t mean… I mean, I’d take the money to open a smoothie stand.

They taste like shit here.

Well, I’m going to start selling them on campus, but I guess I have to set my house on fire first.

Nicole Brown - Sophomore, sociology and pre-med

Have you gone to any parties since school started? Anything crazy happen?

This kid got arrested. We went to something on South Campus and tried to catch the bus back and I guess all these kids were rushing for a bus, and this one kid got in a fight with another kid, and he punched him. Police came and threw him down on the ground and arrested him.

Say you are really in debt and want to light fire to your house and get insurance money. What would be the best best way?

Well, I know one time I accidentally left my iron right by my curtain, I do that all the time, maybe say it’s accidental? I’ve done it so many times.

What, burned down houses?

No! But one time my curtain did actually catch on fire.

Chad Berk - Freshman, biomedical sciences

Do you have any crazy roommate stories since you’ve been in school?

I have one crazy story, sort of. We are playing this game in our hall where you have to steal someone’s underwear and put it on your wall. This is pretty disgusting, but my roommate stole some girl’s underwear and it had blood all over it, and he actually put it on his wall and now it is like a chick reflector. Like no girl will come in the room cause they are disgusted by it.

Yea, when I was a freshman the last thing I wanted was a girl coming in my room, so I com-pletely understand. Did you hear about the fire in the Heights the other day? If your dorm was on fire, what object would you want to save?

I’d just save the most expensive thing, my laptop.

Let’s say you are in debt and your house is on fire. What would be the way to avoid suspicion from insurance companies?

I would just hire someone to do it for me, and I wouldn’t even know the method. Electrical fire, that sounds good. I would probably tell him to do that. Cause you know, appliances malfunction and you can’t be responsible for that.