PERSONALS

I don't like getting water thrown in my face while I am trying to watch a show thank you very much

I'm glad to see 'cunt' made it into the first issue. Your advisor is going to love it!

Steve is hot, but not as hot as the old senior editors. smoke a blut!!1

The spider colony now boasts 67 members. Anyone know what kind they are?

I wish that the "Burger King" would come out and slay all the dicks who stand in line at noon (busiest hour) in his Kingdom, with 50 bags, take forever, and continue to block the way when they stand there waiting for their order. That or i wish he'd surrender to the giant Arby's Cowboy Hat.

To my asshole fucking roomate: If, against my most vehement objections, you hook up with that bitch from the bar, please ensure you don’t go down on MY goddamn bed! I swear to God/Allah/Yaweh that if I smell her Cunt-Funk-Leakage or your ball-sweat on my mattress again (I've lived with myself for 20 years and know my smells) Ill stuff road-spikes under your pillow. ARRGG!

This is a well-written personal.

Small slimy out door type seeking lady who loves to lick...

to the fat blonde sitting in front of me in my HIS class, if i see you trying to seduce one more dude, ill take you out back and shoot you like old yeller!

To my pussy roommate who's computer I consistently download gay porn onto. Punch your girlfriend in the cunthole and come out of the closet. And eat a dick.

To the girl who wears slip-ons 24/7, 365 days a year, can I get your number? I'd love to knock those slips off your feet *wink wink*

to the picture of the girl on last week's generation cover : you can take a bite of my chicken wing any day of the week. if you're lucky ill let you taste some of my suicidal sauce

Clever use of metaphor.

dear armpit hair- you look like a vag.

ub micro can suck my ub balls. seriously. they can open their mouths wide and be like "omg ub balls i want you in my mouth" and my ub balls will be like "okay bitch" and they'll plop right into ub micro's mouth and then that bitch will start suckin like there's no tomorrow.

to the fucking morons in my cse*** class...stop asking the same fucking questions on what the fuck 100100101010 means. you fucking suck at life and deserve to get every STD in the world... especially superaids.

straight dudes in pink shirts are > or = gay

To the girl in orgo who decided to FLOSS her fucking teeth while lecture was going on, you disgust me. That is honestly one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my LIFE. I know you like to get down and dirty, but please clean your std-contaminated teeth elsewhere. Thanks.

At Orientation - You - 4' 8" with missing front tooth, disturbing acne and aroma reminiscent of old Spring Fest port-o-potty. Your Mom - Smokin hot and some how related to you ~ Have her call me

Why throw water at students who don't want it at fallfest...way to make your students sick when they left wet and walked into the cold...

If I started a festival called spanktoberfest, would you attend?

Its funny what a pair of those jumbo sunglasses will do for an ugly chick

Mother Teresa called. She hates you.

the fat bitch eating wings on the cover of the last gen gave me a raging boner. i really want to fuck her thigh.

If by “fat” you mean 105 lbs, then yeah. What a heifer.