maharetv does not have male parts and wishes the hub would stop assuming so

I haz a lightsaber!

kettlecorn and FUNYUNS in the vending machines FTW! omgad.

is this the best Generation can do? the thruway argument is gettin old so go guzzle some cum and get over it

Not our fault. People aren’t funny.

can the dipshit who’s dickriding ron paul stop putting signs that tell us to vote for him and GO SMOKE A BLUT!!

I’m from long island. I’m sooooo pretty.

try kissing me when your not drunk for once... please...

Dear Jon, I was jumping for joy when I saw your article with the Say Anything song title. You are my favorite person ever. Love, A fellow Say Anything Lover.

Dear staffers, please stop eating bear. They love you, and all you do is eat them.

TWIZZLERS ARE NOT MY FAVORITE KANDEE BUT IF SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND REPLACED ALL OF MY BELONGINGS WITH TWISTY DELIGHTS, I WOULD CERTAINLY INDULGE!111!!!!!!!!!!11

Shank needs to learn that polar barez love dying due to plastics.

J DO U LIKE ASPRIN OR TYLENOL BETTER, I GOT SOME HARD ASS RAMMING IN MIND, SO I’D LIKE TO KNOW

Sometimes mah pants feel all mushie && I go in2 tha baffroom && I think I have to pee && I slide mah zoobaz down && then I realize dat ah’pooped.

what every happened to the comments in italics made by the editor of the personals? i used to get a nice kick outa those. hey place one here ? for old time sake...

You’re a big douche cock.

to all you fucking com majors...yes that sounds amazing, i would love to super size my meal...get used to that...

Dear people that suck at driving, yield does not mean stop. The stupid u-turns all over campus are there to make things easier. If you wanna play bumper cars, I’m down anytime.

Like, heyyyy LI girls!! OMG! can you like tell me where the nearest “Stupid Spoiled Whore” store is so I can like buy the exact same coats, boots, and handbags and be a carbon copy of a stupid spoiled whore like you guys?! Theeeenks

GO GO Gene-rangers!!! You Mighty Morphin Gene-rangers...

Visions is so bad they plagiarize from the Spectrum!

i should just become a fucking stripper. instead of killing myself working full time i could seriously make a weeks salary in a few hours...

experienced day-time napper and expert Big Spoon seeking more info on cuddle-buddy position. high beds that are inaccessible to fat chicks are preferred.

To the group of asswads in my English class, Stop passing notes. You look idiots. If I saw you, so did the Professor. I hope she fails you.

To the PRICK who called the cops tuesday night- They weren’t GUN SHOTS you idiot. They were fireworks. Thank you for having me and my girlfriend look accused of being involved in this. Ass Fucks.

A very important PSA: Indians are great in bed because they have the Kamasutra hardwired in their head and their dicks. SO fuck an Indian and have the greatest time of your life.

Early prediction for this year’s (crappy) Spectrum April Fool’s Issue: Colbert Cancels Last Minute. Also, new Spectrum EIC = fail.

to the world civ ta who looks like hagrid: im down for a hogwarts themed romp any day ;)