To my sexy dead head roommate I fantasize about you every night. So what if i have a b/f let’s make some of my fantasies cum to life
Peter Sheck, marry meee.
im gonna donkey punch you all if you don’t put my poem in the personals. It was actually funny.
Hey M.M. I just found out your dad is my landlord and I would not mind making you my tenant ohhh yeahhhh
Oozefest is coming up, looking for ladies to get dirty with before, during and after. Musn’t mind if i play in the mud
If anyone else has fantasized about transforming into a giant seagull and starting an army of seagulls, I know how you feel. Meet me in the parking lot at midnight. Bring a pair of suspenders and your cack. Cack is a secret code for trouser snake.
To the big, oafish kid that looks like a retarded version of Tarzan that rides the sweethome shuttle the same time I do... I hate your life. I bet the biggest night of your week is when you play Halo for 10 hours and finish the night off with a session of bitter masturbation... Ps. I bet you blow loads in your own mouth
to the guy i met at the afterparty...how bought showing me some moves that got u 3rd place ;)
when i bring freshly made salsa to the tailgate and you want it...i’ll be like, “bitch, this was made with the Rick Bayless Mezzaluna and Wood Bowl”
to the sexy persian boy always studying in nsc, i want you. every time i see you studying there i want to jump on you and bang you right on that table..be waiting for me
I swear the bathroom on the second floor of Baird is made for little people. That was the most uncomfortable shit I have ever taken. Seriously.
To the girl in my ECO*** class that always sits in the back with that dude. Shut the fuck up because nobody wants to hear your voice, and bring back your hot friend with the laptop. I want to be in herrrr!
to the red headed girl who works at sweethome.lets make babies
Boy from the knox stairwell- ew, pass@ Learn how to properly speak to a lady. Then, MAYBE, I’ll think about having some sort of mind numbing conversation with you. Always- girl with the skinny jeans and flats.
To the loud obnoxious thing Im forced to sit next to in class: How bout you NOT comment on every 2 things said in class and keep your trap shut. On that note, how bout you not talk at all, you’re failing the class anyway.
The massages they give away for free in the student union should have a happy ending. Who’s with me?
To the piece of shit scumbag in the CFA bathroom who did NOT wash his hands after taking a piss...You are the biggest piece of shit honestly who are you do u think your cock is clean? Cuz it’s not u have Chlamydia
facebook upcoming birthdays: ANDREW BLAKE... uh ohhhh u better get crunk faced.
Visions’ men’s fashion made me want to die. Also, I have a strict policy of keeping animals out of my hair, so “moose” will not be making an appearance.
Rob Schneider was an animal, then he was a woman. Now, he’s about to become...A Stapler! And he’s about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks! Rob Schneider is The Stapler. Rated PG-13
To the like three “asswads” in ummmm OUR English class, like clearly, you haven’t realized that like our teacher doesn’t care what we like do. “You look idiots” too, stop like paying attention to what we’re ummm doing in class. Ummm take the time you pay attention to us to like think up something intelligent to say.
that translated to personal quite poorly
spandex pants are NOT REAL PANTS. camel toe FTW!!!!!!!!!1!111!!!!
As you can see, given this example sentence, I like to observe proper punctuation; it’s a small hobby of mine.
Dear people that still suck at driving, thanks for proving that not only do you blow at driving but you can’t even read.
Im really glad UB decided a plasma TV to display the wildfire menu in the union was appropriate. I dont know how i got along reading a regular menu ever before!!!!!11!!!!1
to the boy and girl humping the shit out of eachother in spaulding 6 floor 5, yea me and my friends watched you from the lounge. you didnt last very long. turn your shades in the opposite direction, plz.
Premium_Value should just forgive snootchiebootchies already because the hub is so fucking tired of hearing about it!
to the people who plow governors lots (namely the furthest one): who said over spring break you could be incompetent enough to plow snow DIRECTLY onto the sidewalks, WHERE PEOPLE WALK? That incompetency is reserved only for state employees. Oh wait...
so, i have a stalker, and i’d very much like to forcefully feed him a steamy turd and stungun his nuts the next time he tries to hug me
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i’m afraid to take shrooms at UB just because i’ll think an army of ugg boots and the ugly skank hoes wearing them are after me.
To the thundercunt who opened her car door (black two door) into my blue pickup truck while i was sitting in the drivers seat on Monday nite, march 3rd, fargo lot: you are the reason women do not deserve to operate a motor vehicle. you deserve to be a cumfart, you dumb twat. to be that ignorant, to hit me and pull away amazes me. The girl in the passenger seat, she too is a dumptruck whore. i hope the both of you rot in the blackest hole of hell. eat my asshole.
FUCK UB. The only time someone mildly interesting comes to UB (ie Stephen Colbert), its fucking impossible to get tickets. Well to everyone working for the administration FUCK YOU. Can you take your dicks out of our asses for one second to stop fucking us over.
clever analogy.
to the dumb buffalo fucks who call our long island bags HANDBAGS....listen, we don’t call it a ‘handbag’. it sounds like my grandmother describing her purse when she’s taking a cough drop from it that has been in there since 1997. And don’t hate on uggs...they’re precious. like your boyfriend when I sucked his dick last night.
True Life: I’m addicted to Boobies
No, UB green. Al gore did’nt invent the internet, but he sure did a good job inventing global warming and scaring the crap out of people so he could make some buck. he needs to chill out and go $m0ke @ b1uT!
communications majors....perfecting their word processing skills one semester at a time.
I called your name in Orgo*** lab, i looked away because my eyes were’nt ready for your beauty.
Minor bun engine made Benny Lava!!!!
Kid who tries to throw his farts, you are a scum bag! go back to grade school, you still smell anyways
Blonde chick in my bio class... I want to cover my dick in mayo and shove it down your throat so you can truly experience mayo on a stick
To my french teacher... you look like a kinky fox.. i’d love to hear you moaning french gibberish while i pound that ass!
To the red headed kid on the hockey team... YOU ARE A FIRE CROTCH!!! get your bitch ass over here and fight me now.
LI’s you KILL everything. I used to love ugg boots, until each and everyone of you wore them. I saw those long puffy coats im like, how cute. Then i realized ALL of you had one within the next week. its sick. leave UB and go back to you “island” where everyone dresses the same
I’ve been hooking up with these 2 girls and I’m starting to think they may be friends and are starting to put the pieces together. How do I keep them from figuring out whats goin on? And if they do find out how do I salvage at least one and better yet both?
Dear girls with short crazy hair, I love you. Love, Me
Dear roommate A, stop being such an emo bitch. Turn off the “Say Anything” and man up.-roommate D
To the fat bastard sitting in the back of my Bio for Women class who snickers whenever a female body part is mentioned - are you fucking serious with this? If you’re too immature to handle a college course, go back to fucking high school. Or is it just that you’re such a fat douche and you’ve never been laid that you can’t handle what you don’t (or ever will) know?
the little tables at the entrance of capen are highly visible to everyone who walks in. long island bitches, if you’re going to sit there, PLEASE make sure you’re really fucking hot. being a fat slut with nasty makeup from last night with baggy pink sweatpants and a tight white shirt with folds of your mama’s cooking falling out of it doesn’t count you fucking disgusting italian LI whores.
You know what confuses the hell out of me? Why are people coming to UB and complaining about Buffalo? Go to a different God damned school...
To the asshole that posted that shit about com majors... you are just angry that you couldn’t handle com and they don’t have your new major here: Asshole with a concentration in faggotry. Fuck you
to those two guys who r always at the steer... you need to leave with me next time
