P E R S O N A L S

To the hot new guy in my Tai Chi class, can you please fuck me? Seriously. Or at least, can I blow you?

From the cute twink. ;)

Hey guy that I caught beating off in Spaulding last year. Remember when I caught you beating off last year?

The Amulet! Quick Charlie the Amulet!

To the kid who fingerpainted his name with shit on the stall in the union bathroom, you have nice handwriting.

5’9, 36-24-36, female seeking hot chick for wasted make outs. Must be greater than or equal to the flagroom whore. Thats right frw. I’m replacing you. Fuck you and the boyfriend you rode in on!

Props to who ever blew chunks all over the entrace to Clinton, and then smeared feces on the door for good measure

Do other people take shits? My Asian roommate wants to know.

Dear Between The Sheets,

i want to get in between your sheets but i’m too afraid of catching multiple diseases...

to the stripper last night, thanks for choosing me

I vote we resurrect Taft and put him back in office

does anyone have a spare vagina just lying around?

abortion, it brings the child out of you

My roomate really pissed me off the other day so I jerked off on his pillow. Now I kinda feel bad. I hope he doesn’t get pink eye.

to the guy that keeps coming into my room- who do u want? its very awkward to have u come and bounce between us. choose one and stick to it. oh and bf/casual sleeping buddies are not an issue, we r single.

Fuck You!

p.s. you know who you are.

to the guy in psych stats...STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE...we see you

to my ARC friend, why cant I see your butt?

To the JAP cum guzzling, fuzzy boot wearing, giant sunglass blocking out the fucking sun wearing, prada owning, every STD known to man having (herpes still counts, even if it is NOT flared up), smirnoff drinking, sorority thundercunts in my COM 240 class, YES... all of you, but especially those three in the corner... SHUT THE FUCK UP, do you really need a cock in your mouth to do it for you? Have a nice day.

ok its a new semester can we please drop the flag room whore? She either died of AIDS or dropped out and is currently going to buff state like many a whore before her

To the suck-up in MAE***, if you don’t stop trying to look smart I’m going to punch you in the mouth. You’re going to look awfully funny sucking the professor’s dick without any teeth.

Looking for hunnies to join my Seal Cub Clubbing Club. You can use my club as long as you handle it well.

Dear every gay guy at UB, stop hitting on me, not every dude w/ a messenger bag likes dick, it’s annoying as fuck.

To the hot Grad students in Structures 4**, you can calculate the load on my horizontal member ANY time

to the bitch that think diet soda works. it doesnt, you think you lost 10 pounds, your ass found it.

want to go halves on a baby?

to the hot muslim chick in the flagroom. I know its Ramadan, but when the sun goes down, you can always eat me.

Did you know it’s illegal to say “I want to kill the President of the United States of America”... it wasnt illegal right there because it was like a public service announcement

to all you fuckers who find it necessary to stare at people in the hallways and smile, I DON’T want to see your stupid, ugly face. Keep it down and just fucking walk. You’re all ugly!

looking for study buddy, for human anatomy and reproductive organs. meet boner fifth floor lockwood five thirty every tuesday and weds.

I ate the Pounder at Cheeburger Cheeburger on friday. Then I ate out your mom. Both were crusty on the outside and pink on the inside. I threw up after both as well.

Sex with Vampires = Necrophilia. Sex with Werewolves = Bestiality. Sex with Visions = Impossible.

Has anyone gone to the fitness class in Richmond Thursdays at noon? That girl is fucking SLAMMING.

dear printer BETCH in undisclosed computer lab... you broke the printer on purpose you worthless troll. I overheard you complaining about students and their printing. I hope you choke on toner and get a ream of 80% post-consumer recycled paper - yea the cheap scratchy stuff - SHOVED UP YOUR ASS.

To the guy standing outside Flint being yelled at by his girlfriend for saying “Great Aether” when you orgasmed... you’ll get no sympathy from me.

why are freshman girls so stupid, just cause i rubbed your clit doesn’t mean i want to start thinking of baby names

That chick w/ anal warts on the SAV cmmercial is hotttt. I’d hit that.

Dear SA,

Whose dick do I have to suck to get my own column in VISIONS?

Dear Ann Marie,

I saw your picture on the back page…will you marry me? PUH-LEEZE?????