It seems like finding someone willing to put their stories out in print is really tricky now-a-days; people are too afraid to fuck up. I have a lot of friends that write in their free time, and when you ask, they’re always excited about what they’re doing. They can go on and on about their stories, until they are asked about publishing them. Then, the mood shifts, and they end up telling me, “Oh, I’m not a good enough writer for that.” Honestly, I’m skeptical.

The thing with writing is that you have to be willing to eventually give up whatever it is you are trying to put together and hope that you still like it later. I know if I had the option, I would never stop editing my stories; hell, no one would ever even see my stories until I thought they were good enough. Which could be never. If you aren’t careful, you could be stuck rewriting the same thing over and over because “this line doesn’t look right,” or “this wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say,” until eventually it’s total crap and you never want to see it again, less have someone else read it.

I remember the first story I ever wrote for Generation (not like it’s hard to, since it was last year, but I digress); it was this story called “Ally Owns You,” where a guy wakes up to find that phrase and a faded phone number written on his back in lipstick after a blackout night of drinking. I was so excited about the plot I made up that I told all of my friends about it, and how in the end, you learn that Ally is a man. It felt awesome to shock my friends (especially my guy friends) and have them actually want to read it when I was done with it. When I sent it in, I just knew that this story was going to be fucking fantastic.

The first workshop was a disaster. A group of other writers looked through my three-and-a-half page story for what felt like an hour or so, showing me all of the mistakes that should have been obvious to me, but weren’t. My grammar was awful. I shifted tenses all the time. Some sentences were hard to understand, and it was obvious that I didn’t really know how to use a comma. The plot could have been the next big thing and it would have still turned out like crap when written with my poor grasp of English.

So, you make the edits. You look everything over with a fine tooth comb and hope that the next time you write something, it ends up being better than your other junk. You try and try again to write something you think is worthwhile and pray that it’s the best you can make it. It’s all you can really do; just send it, and trek on.

When a story goes into print, it’s done (well, sort of). It feels like you can never take back what you wrote because it’s already everywhere, in thousands of copies. This is both the greatest and the most frightening feeling in the world, especially for someone just starting. Its feels great to see your name on a page, but at the same time it’s hard to have pride in your work when you are used to reading beautiful published works that took people years to make. You’re not exactly the next F. Scott Fitzgerald, so why bother? Then again, everyone has to start somewhere.

It doesn’t seem like I’m swaying people very well to send in their work, but in the end, getting published is so worth it. Even though I might not look at my old stories anymore, I look at my present stories in print and feel pride. I got published. I wrote something good, and people are going to see that I wrote something good. It’s a great feeling to know that someone likes what you wrote, got a kick out of it, was moved by it, or was even entertained enough to make it through their World Civ class without leaving.

And really, while you might not have as much pride for the older things you wrote, you have them as proof that you are getting better, and honing your skills.

When I look at the things I wrote for Generation last year, I cringe. They are not bad, but after a bit of practice, they look nothing like what I write now. It’s actually really great when this happens, because it means you have improved, that you’ve come closer to gaining your own sense of style. It can still hurt to look back at your old things and notice all the stupid mistakes you used to make. It still takes a lot out of me to show people my writing, to let them decide whether or not my writing is worth reading.

So, I want to congratulate anyone that sent in stories this semester, because being willing to have them scrutinized and then tested by readers can be hard on anyone. Taking the chance though is the first step to being a good writer, and really, if no one reads it, what’s the point? Sending in a story doesn’t get you money or even the chance of any sort of recognition by anyone, but having what you wrote in hand, even on cheap paper, is amazing.

And please, don’t think you’re not good enough to write. You never really know until you put yourself out there, so hell, send it in. Your story could get in and rock the entire school or be ignored for the sake of reading the personals, but take the chance. It’s worth it.