Angle, Velocity, Fire! Back in the days of prehistory (circa: 1995), I had a love affair with a beautiful, capable beast of a machine, and her name was Packard Bell. She wore her Windows 3.1 on her sleeve and would coyly show her brand new Pentium upon the crack of a smile. Together we ran down the slopes of SkiFree and laughed at Lance Boyle’s terrible jokes in MegaRace.

During the twilight of our affair, I was awarded a compact disc, featuring 100+ games for the personal computer because of my placement on Santa’s nice list and my prepubescent good looks. Ms. Bell and I spent an eternity wading through the games, picking the cream of the crop, the butter on my corn, and the chili on my dog. That condiment turned out to be a simple one, a game featuring two cannons, with each other in their sights. Your task, was to murder the opposition with your great cannonballs of fire, all while learning physics and angles!

Several games have utilized this style of turn-based warfare, such as popular series’ Worms and GunBound. The newest game to bring this glorious formula into the limelight is iShoot. Atop photorealistic backgrounds, you control a tank, hell-bent on the destruction of up to three other tanks by any means necessary, a.k.a. 25 different kinds of bombs. No motive is present and there is no backstory, but the tanks are different colors, so fucking kill those red commie bastards. At the start of each level, the players shop for their top picks in the oncoming missile massacre, and as levels and kills progress, more money comes your way, just like in real life!

iShoot is developed by a first time Mac programmer, Ethan Nicholas, and it shows. The game leaves room for a wealth of improvements and new options, such as Wi-Fi multiplayer, explosion effects that utilize the graphical powers of the iPod, and controllable amounts of cash-monies, to be brief. The pre-level store also glitched out on me a few times, but the problem was easily resolved.

But at the cheap price of $2.99 (with a “Lite” version available for free), the game packs plenty of addicting fun. iShoot even packs in an ounce of humor as the other tanks shit-talk you and your bombing skills. I released an audible laugh when the opposing yellow tank, dubbed Col. Mustard, followed his nuke launch by saying, “Works better than a candlestick, eh?” Classic! If only Miss Scarlet was packing Hydrogen bombs in Clue, hot damn!

For the price, iShoot is a blast and a half, featuring plenty of addicting gameplay for those that like to blow shit up, packed in with bountiful weaponry and strategery. And a pleasant throwback for this writer.

iShoot = iScore!