Another cultural revolution is taking place in China as we speak. Unlike the one in the 1960s, matters like social obedience and government propaganda are replaced by speed dating and sex blogs. In the Far East, old traditions are getting a makeover. China may have a history of political oppression, but factors like technology and interaction with Western societies have since liberated its people. The people may be breaking away from long-standing customs, but they are not forgotten completely. Instead, combining deep-rooted ideas with new ones are allowing some traditions to still stay relevant in the twenty-first century. No matter how you look at it, China is modernizing, physically and more importantly, culturally.

Finding love and settling down has gone through an evolution of sorts in China. Whereas now it is very common for young people to date around before marriage, that hasn’t always been the case. Ancient China relied on village matchmakers and, in the twentieth century, government officials took over the role of sanctioning marriages. “My parents were set up by a matchmaker,” says Ruo Hsiao Fang, a graduate student from Taiwan currently studying linguistics. “Before they met, the matchmaker went and visited my dad and his family, then my mom and her family, and decided they would be a good match. Three days after meeting for the first time, they were married.”

There are some remote villages in the country sides of China that are still using matchmakers to this day. While today’s singles base their decisions more on personal choice than ever before, many Chinese men and women still look for a little guidance when it comes to finding love. Due to the country’s economic boom within the past 25 years, more and more are focused on making money first and their love life second. “A lot of men and women today are too busy to date around. Some will search within their social circle or people that they work with, but a lot are having their parents help them out,” says Jane Yu, a teaching assistant in the linguistics department and a former teacher in China.

“Park Matchmaking” is a popular event many parents participate in. In ZhongShan Park, right next to Tiananmen Square, hundreds of parents gather twice a week with hopes of finding their child’s soul mate. Parents holding photos of their son or daughter, as well as a personality profile, can be found mingling with other parents in parks in almost every major Chinese city. Without a face-to-face meeting however, these Park Matchmaking sessions may leave out the initial spark that is crucial to every successful relationship. In an interview with Chinadaily.com, Duan Guoyi, a 57-year-old retired construction company driver said the park gathering has gotten him two dates for his 28-year-old daughter, but produced no success. “She told me one was too fat, the other was too quiet,” Duan said. “She’s not worried, but I am.”

Another popular form of dating combines new technologies with old customs. Everywhere in China, matchmaking services are available for single men and women to meet freely, with many agencies state-supported. According to the government’s Xinhua News Agency, there are more than 20,000 registered matchmaking agencies currently in China. Some of them aren’t exactly cheap, costing thousands of Yuan (Chinese currency) to join. These agencies do everything from setting up personal one-on-one encounters between their clients to arranging speed dating events. These modern day matchmakers fit perfectly in the lives of busy singles; they are presented with potential matches rather than doing the searching for themselves. Internet matchmaking sites are another popular alternative. This past July, China passed the United States as the world’s largest net-using population, with more than 253 million people in the country now online. China’s online dating market is expected to continuously grow, with figures reaching around 653 million Yuan (about 81 million U.S. dollars) last year. Most online dating services are free, but some sites like Baihe charges their members 1,980 Yuan per person for an optional “Golden” service, which promises to find a stable relationship within six months. Still, like all matchmaking services, happily ever after is never promised. “My uncle’s daughter found her husband on the internet. She got lucky; some are successful, but a lot are unsuccessful. It all depends on your luck, really,” says Yu.

For those Chinese men who find themselves with a lot of money and not a lot of time, one matchmaking service is taking to the high seas. Cashing in on the growing size of the wealthy class, Xu Tianli, CEO of www.915915.com.cn, organized a dating cruise in 2008 open exclusively to men making at least two million Yuan (around $320,000) annually. The women picked for the cruise had to be college educated as well as go through a rigorous screening process. “Only [the women] who were attractive in every category can take part in this event,” Xu told Chinadaily.com in an interview.

Though the cruise seems a bit misogynistic, women in today’s China hold quite a bit of power as well. Out of the two million private companies operating in China today, 20 percent are owned by women, and according to Forbes, in 2007, 13 of the top 100 richest people in China were women. “Some women now are starting to care a lot more about the man’s social status.” explains Yu. “If the woman is, say, a lawyer, then they’ll only look for other lawyers or someone equivalent. Most aren’t willing to date a man they consider ‘beneath’ them. Therefore it can get pretty hard for them to find a boyfriend because they’re not willing to look for love outside of their own social class.”

While matchmaking services and love boats are a popular choice amongst the older crowd, China’s Generation Y has a much more independent mindset. Barhopping and going out on weekends is a common practice in major cities like Beijing and Shanghai. “Places called KTV are pretty popular,” says Wenjun Wu, a sophomore accounting major from Shanghai. KTVs, also known as Karaoke Boxes, are venues filled with multiple rooms each with a TV and karaoke machine. Groups of friends can rent out rooms and blare out their favorite nostalgic hits. “It’s a fun place to go with a group of friends and meet others.” Her friend Zhuogin Zhui, a freshman accounting major agrees. “Pubs are very popular in Shanghai as well, especially with young people and college students.” Much like the pool halls found in the US, there is an equivalent in the east, where people can go have a drink and play Mah Jong or various card games.

The rise of the internet is allowing more and more people to share their experiences and stories in The Middle Kingdom. Many of these sites and blogs are created by westerners living in China, offering an in-depth perspective of what living in China is like now for young people. One popular website called SexyBeijing.tv is an internet phenomenon. Hosted by Anna Sophie Lowenberg, better known as “Su Fei” to her fans, SexyBeijing broadcasts a short episode every few weeks, each one focusing on a different aspect of dating and love in the nation’s capital. “I moved [here] in 1996 upon graduating college. My father lived in China as a child with my grandparents so I was interested in China. Also, I wanted to learn Chinese and felt that it would be a useful skill to have in the coming century,” says Lowenberg. In 2000, she went back to the US to attend Columbia University’s School of Journalism, and in 2006, returned to China, where she is currently living. “I thought of the idea [for the show] when I moved back to Beijing in 2006. People have often commented that I look like Sarah Jessica Parker, and I thought it would be a funny approach to documenting China,” says Lowenberg. Indeed, Sexy Beijing does pay tribute to Sex and the City—the theme music is the same, and Lowenberg’s voiceover dialogue mirrors that of Carrie Bradshaw’s. Each episode centers on a certain theme or questions, such as dating in the city versus in the countryside and “Why do good girls always go for bad boys?”

As Lowenberg sets out to interview Chinese citizens on the street, almost are all willing to open up and share their experiences with a western stranger. “People on the street are very receptive to interviews. The reception by Chinese public is great and very supportive,” says Lowenberg. Supportive is an understatement; the first episode received half a million views, and all the other episodes have at least 10,000 views. The people Lowenberg interviews range from young to old, and it’s quite obvious their views on dating and marriage are no longer the same. In the episode about matchmaking, one interviewee in his late 20s points out: “People who were born after the 80s may not accept [matchmaking] because their social world is larger…but we kids from the 70s are more influenced by our parents and tradition.”

For Americans who have visited China, the trip can be an eye-opening experience. Michael Chorny, who in 2007 went to China as a teacher, remembers his stay quite vividly. “I lived in a city that is 80 miles from Beijing. We were forbidden to leave the school after 10:30 every night unless we are out of the city. Population was about seven million but there was nothing for white guys like myself to do other than go to McDonalds or go to karaoke bars.” Larger cities like Beijing and Shanghai are the main tourist attractions in China and therefore, are filled with bars, nightclubs, and young people. “Basically Beijing is like New York City, but everyone sounds like screaming cats. Venues are open all the time. Bars and night clubs are mostly located in the San Li Tun district and accommodate stupid foreigners like myself extremely well,” says Chorny. As for meeting women, well, that wasn’t exactly easy. “I usually had a lot of interaction with Chinese women…but if you tried to talk to them, they will just cover their mouths, giggle, and run away afterwards. It’s really the most common reaction. Most Chinese women my age tend to act like four-year-olds, and after a while I got tired. I tried to go on a date with one of the teachers but by the end of it when I asked (that’s right, asked) to kiss her she responded to my actions with a ‘no no no no no no no....no.’” Even though Chorny is now engaged to a woman he originally met in China, he claims she is special and different from all the others. “While I do believe most Chinese women are beautiful, I wouldn’t want to date any of the ones I have encountered, as most of them were too docile and too submissive for me.”

Just like dating, sexuality in China is evolving too. Compared to the mid-twentieth century, when the communist government was at its most powerful point, China is much more liberated and open in terms of talking and dealing with sex. Again, the internet and continuous interaction with the West helped speed up the process. In 2005, a study presented in Time magazine showed that 70 percent of Chinese citizens have had sex before marriage, a substantial growth from the 15.5 percent in 1989. The average age of first sexual experience has also dropped from 24 to about 17 years old.

In late 2003, a journalist from Guangzhou became the center of attention in a fevered media circus. Li Li, also known by her internet name Muzi Mei, garnished much national, as well as international, attention for her blog which contained descriptions of her sexual encounters with various men. Throughout her life, Li claims to have had more than 100 lovers, including a famous Chinese rock star. Her sex-oriented blog was a first in China and, naturally, brought her both positive and negative attention. While her job as a journalist was eventually terminated, she has since been hired as a blogger for Bokee.com, a China-based internet company. Instead of writing, she is now a podcaster. One of her racy podcasts involved an audio recording of an actual sexual encounter, and was met with extreme popularity. In fact, some 50,000 people tried to download the podcast at once, ultimately crashing the host server.

Yet, with every action comes an equal and opposite reaction. Prostitution, which was nearly unheard of 25 years ago, is now spreading across China like a virus. Many brothels are disguised as salons, karaoke bars, and massage parlors. There are even reports of prostitution spreading to college campuses and private residential compounds. “There was no open prostitution 25 years ago,” said Jing Jun, a sociology and AIDS policy professor at Tsinghua University, in a recent interview with The Washington Post. “Fifteen years ago, you didn’t find sex workers in remote areas and cities. But now it’s prevalent in every city, every county.” In the late 1940s, communists were desperately trying to filter out prostitutes, opium smokers and other “socially unreliable” groups from normal society. After the Communist Party took control in 1949, prostitution was illegalized, but not fully stamped out. Now, due to a lack of strict government watch, the sex industry is booming. Many women come from the countryside into major cities hoping to make money. Their reasoning is a depressing one; the majority of the prostitutes in China are working in order to feed their family. “They are absolutely moral. A lot of these women send half their income back to support their families. They’re more filial than I am,” Jing said. In the true spirit of communism, the government may soon step in and begin regulating prostitution. Even though it is against all traditional Chinese morals, however, legalization would lead to certain benefits like AIDS/HIV testing and protection of women. The Chinese government is already starting to recognize the importance of sex-education. In October 2008, China opened up its first sex-education museum aimed primarily toward women. Built in Guangzhou, the museum allows only female visitors and is designed to educate visitors about topics ranging from pregnancies to abortion to STDs.

The men and women of China are no longer so hush-hush about their sexuality. In a land of 1.3 billion people, not everyone is going to be so quick to change, but China is a much more sexually liberated country than ever before. Li is unapologetic for her self-expression. In an interview with Time Li states, “Maybe in the past, everyone was obedient and listened to the old grannies who lectured on who you could have sex with and in what position. But we don’t have time to listen. We’re too busy having sex.”