Am I a bad person for watching Terminator 2 and getting satisfaction out of watching Arnold shooting up the cop cars with a minigun? I love that part!

MM: Contrary to popular thinking about violence in the media, some experts think watching violence is actually good for you. A recent episode of CBS’s The Early Show featured journalist Gerald Jones. He discussed his theory that watching violence in the media actually helps viewers work out issues with anger and gives them coping skills. So, you’re probably not a bad person at all, and in fact, are most likely more well-adjusted than most of us here at Generation.

AB: No, I wouldn’t exactly say that makes you a bad person, but if I were you, I would do something about the rotting carcass of that departed Mexicali hooker you have in the trunk. I’m not saying you’re a bad person for stabbing a whore in the aorta after a botched blackjack tournament, but if people find out, man, you are going to have some ‘splainin to do.

Okay, so heres the thing: I’m a fairly good looking guy right, 21, and I’ve been single for far too long. People are just intimidated by me for some bloody reason, and it’s becoming a pain in the ass, so this is basically an outcry to the chipotle staff of Generation. You know, okay, so what I’m filthy rich? So what if I travel every fucking weekend? Why the hell are people such douche bags? Anyhow, hook me up, bitches! ;)

MM: I don’t think people are as intimidated by you as they are off-put by your seeming arrogance. While you think you are awesome and a small dose of self-esteem is great, you might want to tone it down a bit. Some people might not agree, and some people just might not want to hear about it.

AB: I’m not quite sure what exactly it is that you want us to do, but I would be more than willing to tie you to the back of a Jeep Wrangler and ride you through the woods all night long. Oh, that sounds a little dirty, doesn’t it? Okay, well, we can do it, too. Sure.

So my roommate is being played by this girl who’s also with several other guys. I’ve tried telling him to move on, or at least get a finger or two or ten in, but nay, he refuses. How do I convey to him that he needs to dump this twat and move on?

MM: I think you need to concern yourself less with your roommate’s love life. Being “played” is a normal part of growing up, and it sounds like he’s dealing with some self-esteem issues that you can’t help him with. It’s these harsh lessons in life that are usually dealt with alone, and I think that your word of warning and a simple “I’m here if you need to talk” is all that you can, and should, do.

AB: If he is capable of getting ten fingers in, his best bet to get over this chick might just be to hop on it and hope that her uterus absorbs his being. I’m not sure if that is possible, actually. That should be a movie. Yo, anyone wanna make a movie with me? I have a duffel bag full of lighting equipment in the trunk of my car and my buddy Pedro has a camera. We just might have to dispose of a certain Mexicali hooker first…

What the fuck is up with this UBreathe bullshit next year? Is making everything smoke free at a public university even legal?

MM: It depends on who you ask. Some people argue that it is, in fact, an infringement on personal rights, but the fact that it is a public university, and that the property is state property, kind of works in their favor in the ban. Pennsylvania banned smoking for every state school, and no one has been successful in overturning that rule yet.

AB: I checked with my attorney, and while he assures me that it is indeed legal, crying like a little girl over it is strictly prohibited. Looks like you’re damned either way.

Dear IRYW, what would it take to get a 4/20 celebration together at UB this year? I’m thinking smoke-out at Baird point...

MM: It would probably only take a few fliers and maybe some Facebook invites to make it happen. You wouldn’t necessarily be the first, as many universities, including the University of Otago in New Zealand, often host 4/20 parties openly as an act of protest against marijuana’s non-legality. You would definitely have to consider the consequences. Is a potential student judiciary trial worth the tiny write-up you might get out of The Spectrum on page four?

AB: You could start by getting your dumb ass query posted in 8,000 copies of a magazine distributed over most of the entire campus. You might want to take off your shoelaces before you hit up Baird so you have one less thing to do before you’re booked at the holding center. The hippies lose, buddy. The hippies always lose.