Can someone please tell me how the hell Bow Wow is still relevant? Hey, while we’re at it, why isn’t he called Lil’ Bow Wow anymore? It’s not like his recent music has hinted at anything close to maturity. While his colleague Lil Wayne has matured into a legitimate rapper, Bow Wow continues to produce generic novelty rap. Why is it still getting consistent radio play? Shouldn’t he have been forced to do a reality show on VH-1 by now? That would be far more entertaining than a lame album full of recycled beats and corny lyrics. New Jack City Part 2 is the much-delayed new album from Bow Wow, and it tells nothing about who Bow Wow is other than that he got famous for no reason, and he likes cars and pussy. Sunrise, sunset.

For proof of this album’s mediocrity, look no further than current single, “Marco Polo.” Who did our four-legged friend get to do back up on this joint? Why, none other than Soulja Boy, of course! If you ever wondered what an MC Hammer-Vanilla Ice collaboration would’ve sounded like, you now have your answer. On this track, the two middling MCs trade verses, spitting uninspired rhymes without a clever word in sight. I wish I could say the lyrics were this song’s biggest flaw, but what’s even worse is that the beat is just a slightly re-worked version of “Crank That (Soulja Boy),” because we all needed to hear that one more time. The good news is that the song peaked at a weak #66 on the Billboard charts. At long last, perhaps America’s taste has finally improved.

The album couldn’t get any worse from there, but it doesn’t get a whole lot better either. Second single, “You Can Have It All,” features a hook that recalls Lil’ Wayne’s “Mrs. Officer,” but lacks the witty lyrics that made that song so memorable. The song is guaranteed to be a radio hit, but it’s just another example of how bland the hip-hop / R&B genre has gotten. “Big Girls” is a Monique-approved chubby-chaser anthem, and basically takes the message of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and regurgitates it for the trillionth time. Please, it’s time we stopped beating that dead horse. Monique’s presence on the track might trick you into thinking this is some sort of “female empowerment” song, but don’t fall for it. It objectifies women just as much as any song with skinny girls in the video, and it fails to do so in an interesting way. It’s just four minutes of bland, generic “junk in the trunk” lyrics. If they’d taken a page from Spinal Tap’s “Big Bottom” and approached it with some humor, they could’ve had something interesting. “Roc The Mic” is mostly a series of empty boasts, and a shallow Obama shout-out against a set of beats that fade into the distance, barely making a sound. [That’s this album’s biggest problem; all the beats sound exactly the same--like they came out in 1999.

The thing that pains me the most about this album is that Bow Wow seems entirely unaware of how mediocre and lame it is. He seem to think that he’s a major player in hip-hop (he’s not), and that his album is making some sort of social statement (it’s not). If you want proof of this album’s lack of creativity, look no further than the song titles themselves: “Been Doin’ This,” “She’s My Dirty Girl,” and “Big Time” (which, regrettably, is not a Peter Gabriel cover). Even in 1987 those titles would’ve sounded played out. The fact that he didn’t put any more effort into the actual music only makes matters worse.

When Nas declared that hip-hop was dead two years ago, I found the statement to be overly melodramatic. After all, there are plenty of talented rappers out there today, and the scene is quite vibrant. But as I listened to New Jack City Part 2 (what’s with that title anyway? Nothing here has anything to do with the movie), I saw his point. This album brings so little to the table it’s staggering. The songs themselves are never bad, just terribly uninteresting. The fact that I could picture any of them becoming a hit shows just how much trouble the world of hip-hop and R&B is in.

As I listened to this album, I had a hard time paying attention. There’s just nothing relevant to say here, and more importantly there’s nothing interesting. None of the songs are the slightest bit original, merely pale imitations of what Weezy, Kanye, and other more creative mainstream artists have been doing. There are a few good moments, like “Been Doin’ This,” a super-catchy collaboration with T.I. (who, before going out on his own, ghostwrote for Bow Wow), which is one of the few times when this album really flows. This song makes me think that Bow Wow could be a good rapper if he just wasn’t so lazy, but more likely it’s just the presence of someone with some talent temporarily livening things up. Regardless, one good song is not enough to make up for an otherwise weak album. If critics like this, it will show that we’ve become too accustomed to hip-hop that’s devoid of any personality. If the genre is to survive, it will need music far, far stronger than this.