Used-to-be-music television station VH-1 has amassed a collection of reality shows starring washed-up Z-listers and entitled it “celebreality.” This array of shows first appeared with The Surreal Life back in ‘03, which was pretty much a rip-off of The Real World, but instead of seven random strangers all living in a house, they chose seven celebrities who had no further use in the entertainment business. Since then, VH-1 has been creating dozens more of these awful yet entertaining shows, including dating shows where women and men struggle to test their limits for the affection of nobodies like Public Enemy’s Flava Flav, but by far the most entertaining and upper-lip-curling dating show of them all is former hair band Poison frontman Bret Michaels’s Rock of Love.

After two seasons of this continuously awful show, the producers of VH-1 thought it would be an awesome idea to create a third, but, this time, the girls aren’t just trying to win Bret’s heart in a mansion somewhere in the Hollywood Hills--they’re fighting for his affection on his tour bus. Bret will take his implant army with him as he travels all over the United States, causing havoc in each small town that he invades.

Although the show has only aired four episodes, VH-1 has definitely made a statement this time around. The first episode that aired was absolutely the point of no return for many viewers. During a trip to a bar somewhere on the road, Bret and his busty babes got a little tipsy and did some rather raunchy things. The ending result was that one blonde hoe’s breath went from tequila and nachos to straight up fish. Get my drift? Anyways, that night before elimination, Bret’s magical hair piece must have tickled the inside of his brain and reassured him that although he’s 102 years old, his skin is sagging beyond control, and he suffers from terrible diabetes, he should stop screwing around and settle for a serious gal at this point. With that being said, he eliminated Fisherella and a handful of other rejects that he couldn’t quite see becoming his “Rock of Love.”

As the show has been progressing, the drama has been getting more hilarious. Every five minutes one of these classy broads is blowing her top for some absurd reason. As an example, during one of the many physical challenges that these girls have to endure in order to have “alone time” with their Poisonous man, one of the girls’ implants started to leak due to a rather hideous fall. Another girl became so angry with the fact that this girl fell that she claimed the ditzy dame was only seeking attention and her implant was more than likely okay. Really, though? I’m pretty sure if my implant was leaking and someone questioned me about it, I’d take my 30,000 dollar breast and shove it up her ass. Not in a sexual way, of course. Boob leaks are one of the many issues that have occurred thus far on this season’s Rock of Love, along with catfights, hair pulling, slutty everything (dancing, outfits, etc), shit-talking, girl-on-girl make out sessions, and of course, Bret Michaels being his sexy crypt-keeper self. So, if you’re ever bored on a Sunday evening around nine, I highly recommend flipping to VH-1 and tainting your eyeballs forever. Oh yes, make sure not to be eating while viewing…it could be disastrous.