P E R S O N A L S
To the stupid kid with the stupid knife, quit yelling “ALLAH” everytime something good happens! P.S. Falcons suck!!
To the tall kid who always wears an orange jacket in Alternative Fuels: I am yearning to be filled up with your fuel… MAN fuel.
To the cute boy in calc 2 who always sits with that ginger kid...you’re a curly headed fuck.
Who the fuck smeared shit on the floor in Knox on Thursday night? Is this what we’ve come to as a nation? I blame the Democrats (They stole our trays too).
what happens when long island girls fart in their leggings? does it just air-bubble up inside and patiently wait for the moment it can escape through a tiny air hole?
i masturbate with a generation magazine. All i do is just put some turkey burger grease all over the issue and just slide it on up. I now have a yeast infection. but good times though, for real.
Pubes. / curly, prickly, greasy... / smelly, overgrown, fo sheezy. / They grow on my nads, / and impress all the lads, / and when I shove them in my girls mouth she gets queezy.
So Im looking for a girl who will say something like: “I’ll sleep with you if you let me buy you Jims Steakout.” and needless to say i had nowhere else to turn.
Why did you do that / Steal a bite of my sandwich / I should have slapped you
To the person that has the extra Snuggie, do I get the free book light with it too or do you need two of those? Also, do you have any extra Sham Wows?
SPERANZA, you are a PRINCESS!
My heart is bleeding/I think I just got stabbed, yo/Don’t party by South
I don’t talk to girls, I just stare at them.
I’M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!!! I’M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE ... gotta love cousins
“I have seen the light, and it is furry, oh so furry. And down from the heavens, descended the Ugg boot.” - Ellen 3:14
Buzzes and mellows shall not be harshed.
To the girl in my non-majors music class who kicked the coffee all over me and acted like nothing happened, i take that as an open invitation to stick my penis in you. Oh yea, sorry for sneezing on you. My bad.
write me another fucking parking ticket and a fucking brick is going to be in every fucking cop car there is
ive thrown out every plate that ive every used in goodyr hall, thats what you get for making shitty food
BIG OL’ BAG A DICKSS
Remember that time/ When you wore a bikini/ I threw up a lot...
does one time make you gay?
There is lots of snow/Van Gogh is a good painter/I like big black cock
I liek yr butt
Dear scrawny scene boy in Wilkeson, everyone refers to you as “vegan kid” until you gained weight. Now everyone calls you “not-so-vegan kid.” Are you still a vegan?
If I could be any quadrilateral, I would be a rhombus, obviously.
Dear clear backpack kid, I got my surgery over break, and I am still waiting for an appointment for a fuck session.
Dear Boyfriend, please stop jerking off behind me. If you get it on my shirt I’ll cut it off.
DEAR BOYFRIEND, PLEASE STOP JERKING OFF BEHIND ME. IF YOU GET IT ON MY SHIRT I’LL CUT IT OFF.
OKAY, I’M CUTTING IT OFF, YOU DICK.
to the group of girls i got stuck in the elevator with, i would have been open to a gang bang...i don’t know why you looked at me so funny when i dropped my pants???
Dear person looking for someone sexy to share their 2nd Snuggie with. Here I am, but what color is it? And do you have a 2nd book light for me too? ;)
Am I the only one that thinks it’s unfair that there are two Tim Horton’s but only one Starbucks? Shouldn’t anti trust be moving in or something to that regard?
Hey kid reading this Generation in the Capen Hobo lounge, I can see you.
Which would you rather have? A box of joe in your lap, or a Joe lapping your box?
King:Queen::Prince:Speranza
Everytime I get published in the personals I have sex with a stranger... It’s like giving back to the community
to the south campus bus driver im sorry i started making out with you i was just very grateful
HEYYYY MUST BE THE MONEY
This Summer...Rod Blagoijavcech stars in the blockbusting suspense thriller....THE TALE TELL TOUPEE...how a hairdo ruined any chance of respect
What kind of self respecting male eats cous cous? same kind that listens to Michael Bolton records with their vibrators on high....9000 RPM’S BABYY
To the degenerate who keeps pissing all over the floor in stall 1 on the 3rd floor of building 1 Wilkeson, if I find you I’m going to tear out your heart and eat it with ketchup and mustard to satisfy my blood lust and then pee on your corpse. STOP IT YOU BASTARD!
Go on Youtube and watch Main Street Confessions season 4 episode 1.
Carefully watch the kid’s face from 17:55 to 18:00.
Die Laughing.
AFE: You are CPT SAUCYPANTS. And I am CPT Turboawesomecause Esq. III, reporting for duty!
Want to make quick money? I’ll be giving away 20 dollars each week to the person who comes up with the wittiest reason or most sincere reason to why I should pick them. Be creative. Check the Facebook Marketplace under Free Stuff...
to my roommate that dropped the most vile shit in the bathroom, my clogged over-flowing poop water smell doesn’t compare to the satanic demon that was shat out of your asshole
easy now fuzzy little man peach
to the skank whore who cut her damn pub’s all over the richmond toilet seat, i made them into a fucking voodoo doll
Oh, Speranza.
Now that it’s cold out, no one is going to the zoo. I bet the zebras are lonely; no one knits them mittens. No one brings them chai.
To the homo that I met in Geneseo who works at a deli and goes to UB: NO, I don’t want your “meaty sub.” Get a real job, pervert.
I’ll try real hard not to squeeze your pie.
To the people upstairs, please allow me into your room. I don't want to pay fifty cents for farting in their. I promise I'll stop. Except when I'm drunk.
Love, person downstairs.
